not church!

[zebravomt]

my mom want to force me to go to church. I know nothing about god and dont want to know. i reall dont beleave in him and dont want to. how do i tell her i realy dont want to go. if she makes me she will regrat it i can tell you this.
I have told her how much i dont want to go and i try not to talk about it hoping she will forget, please someone help i dont want to go and be force to learn about god
( and if im right, not i have never read the bible or anything, but wont like the revner m,an or what ever he is tell you that you dopnt have to be here if you do not wish to warship god... )

[Kiko]

Church won't force you to believe in God. This is a situation where you might as well just do what your mother says and go. You don't have to listen to what the people at the church say but you made it sound like there would be consequences if you didn't go.

My dad is not part of a religion but he goes to church with us on Christmas because he knows it's important to my mom and our family if he goes.

I'm not sure what you're afraid of, the church isn't going to single you out and force The Bible down your throat. Most churches welcome visitors, even those who don't believe in God.

[zebravomt]

she wants to make be join bible study and a youth group and i hate things like that and she knows it. i am NOT a people person at all.

[Kiko]

she wants to make be join bible study and a youth group and i hate things like that and she knows it. i am NOT a people person at all.

Oh well that is a little too far in my opinion. Have you tried sitting down with her and telling her that you're not religious and you don't want to be?

[zebravomt]

Kind of, i alked to her saying in my case its also a litle to late for to even try t bealeave in it. its like if i just found out that theres a man named santa that watches me and gives me presents if i give him cookies, but i can never see him. she said thats all just a lie and i should go, and even if i dont want togo i am. I said that i dont want to go and i will hate it so much, she just looked at me and said "your going"

[Kiko]

Sadly, it doesn't seem like there's much you can do. Some parents don't accept that their children are the way that they are. If I were you I would try to go once or twice then tell her that you still feel that religion just isn't for you.

[wiip]

You do not want to go to church!

I am a firm Christian believer, but church is one of the last places someone our age should go. It's boring, aimed at old people, and is mostly tradition for the sake of tradition. God is amazing and you should really find out about him (he'll make your life bloody amazing!), but church isn't good at all for discovering God.

Why are you so vehemently against the whole thing? Why don't you want to learn about God? I mean, what if Christians like me and the people at the church are right; what if you end up in hell for eternity, just for a couple off petty swearwords and a lie or two? What a waste! You could be so much more. If Christians are wrong, you've made no loss, have you?

[Fact]

If Christians are wrong, you've made no loss, have you?

Yes you have, because you've then compromised your whole life living by something you don't believe in for nothing.

Sorry to interject, just reading your post stirred up my inner-religion-hatred.

[Kiko]

You do not want to go to church!

I am a firm Christian believer, but church is one of the last places someone our age should go. It's boring, aimed at old people, and is mostly tradition for the sake of tradition. God is amazing and you should really find out about him (he'll make your life bloody amazing!), but church isn't good at all for discovering God.

Why are you so vehemently against the whole thing? Why don't you want to learn about God? I mean, what if Christians like me and the people at the church are right; what if you end up in hell for eternity, just for a couple off petty swearwords and a lie or two? What a waste! You could be so much more. If Christians are wrong, you've made no loss, have you?

This is why being a Christian is upsetting to me sometimes. Telling someone they could "be so much more" if they were Christian. Not to mention Christians don't believe that you go to hell for not being Christian as you stated. Imposing faith on people 9/10 times makes them angry. If you want people to be Christian lead them by your actions.

Sorry for digressing OP :(

[jockboy14]

Not to mention Christians don't believe that you go to hell for not being Christian as you stated.

Revelations 21:8 says "But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars—they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.”

So there it is.

I understand the OPs situation, I've been there. I didn't really like to go to church, and my mom made me go to youth group, which I thought would be horrible. But instead it has been great and really helpful. I gave my life to God on the 2nd time there and it's just awesome. I can somewhat agree with the other poster who said that church isn't the ideal place to go and believe in God. I think Church is great for learning more about him and how you can use the Bible and interpret it.

Don't give up on it man, try and trust in the Lord and give yourself to him. Let him have control, because he has a plan for you.

[Kiko]

However, Roman 2:14-16 says that "When Gentiles who have not the law do by nature what the law requires, they are a law to themselves, even though they do not have the law. They show that what the law requires is written on their hearts, while their conscience also bears witness and their conflicting thoughts accuse or perhaps excuse them on that day when, according to my gospel, God judges the secrets of men by Christ Jesus."

I put more trust in an Old Testament book than a book that is filled with symbolic speech that is not meant to be taken word for word.

[Fact]

Revelations 21:8 says "But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars—they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.”

Don't give up on it man, try and trust in the Lord and give yourself to him. Let him have control, because he has a plan for you.

However, Roman 2:14-16 says that "When Gentiles who have not the law do by nature what the law requires, they are a law to themselves, even though they do not have the law. They show that what the law requires is written on their hearts, while their conscience also bears witness and their conflicting thoughts accuse or perhaps excuse them on that day when, according to my gospel, God judges the secrets of men by Christ Jesus."

I put more trust in an Old Testament book than a book that is filled with symbolic speech that is not meant to be taken word for word.

And that ↑ is why I don't believe in anything. Conflicting crap all round.

To the OP, if you're really opposed to going to church, then just stand your ground on that. However, going there once won't kill you, so I wouldn't worry too much about it.

[Kiko]

And that ↑ is why I don't believe in anything. Conflicting crap all round.


It's not that contradictory, or at least it wasn't. The original (untranslated) Bible has five different words that were all translated in English to mean "hell" so most scholars think that there were really intended to be different "sections" of hell for different kinds of people. However, like usual, organized religion warped the words to suit themselves. And this is why I don't go to Church :)

And I'm done. I agree with Fact's last bit of advice to the OP.

[jockboy14]

However, Roman 2:14-16 says that "When Gentiles who have not the law do by nature what the law requires, they are a law to themselves, even though they do not have the law. They show that what the law requires is written on their hearts, while their conscience also bears witness and their conflicting thoughts accuse or perhaps excuse them on that day when, according to my gospel, God judges the secrets of men by Christ Jesus."

I put more trust in an Old Testament book than a book that is filled with symbolic speech that is not meant to be taken word for word.


Gentiles are the people spoken in this verse, meaning those that are "not Jewish, especially Christian" (according to dictionary.com). So, if one does not believe, then how can one be a Christian? Just sayin.

Don't get caught up with the faults of crooked people form the past in The Church. Because it is not about a religion where you must do this, this and this. It is about a personal relationship with Jesus. Know that He loves you more than you could ever imagine.

[Chris95]

You should at least keep an open mind about the situation. Saying "I don't even want to know" is pretty closed-minded and won't get you anywhere. At least compromise with her and go to church and pay attention, but you don't have to believe if you don't want to.

[Weeping]

Well, you could try to go there like 2 or 3 times, and if it still feels wrong for you, try talking to her. Tell her that it doesn't feel alright for you.

And you don't have to believe in God to go to church. (:
But give it a try before you talk to her.

:hug:

[Jamie]

If Christians are wrong, you've made no loss, have you?I can not stand the argument of Pascal's wager, because you do lose something. You lose countless hours in church, praying to god, and listening to ridiculous sermons. What if those who believe there is no afterlife are right? Then you have wasted a considerable amount of time in your only life, wasting your time in believing in something that never benefited you in ways that were promised.

[zebravomt]

I can not stand the argument of Pascal's wager, because you do lose something. You lose countless hours in church, praying to god, and listening to ridiculous sermons. What if those who believe there is no afterlife are right? Then you have wasted a considerable amount of time in your only life, wasting your time in believing in something that never benefited you in ways that were promised.

thank you so much, this is how i feel lol!

[jockboy14]

I can not stand the argument of Pascal's wager, because you do lose something. You lose countless hours in church, praying to god, and listening to ridiculous sermons. What if those who believe there is no afterlife are right? Then you have wasted a considerable amount of time in your only life, wasting your time in believing in something that never benefited you in ways that were promised.


it does benefit you even if there is no afterlife (I believe there is though). In the way that you get happiness, joy, relief, and peace from at least believing in God because he gives all those from life and by forgiving sins. He can do a lot.

[Alexithymia]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but it seemed to me like the OP was an atheist. Which means that he doesn't believe that God can do any of those things. He believes that God is just a myth that Christians created to make them feel better about themselves.

[wiip]

it does benefit you even if there is no afterlife (I believe there is though). In the way that you get happiness, joy, relief, and peace from at least believing in God because he gives all those from life and by forgiving sins. He can do a lot.

I totally agree; was going to comment a similar thing. If got were not to exist, there is still such a great feeling you get from it. Also, your overall behaviour tends to improve. That may sound a tad parent-y, but in the long run it's a good thing. Also, most people respect your beliefs and will like you as a person for being a nicer guy (or girl). And it brings people together; I've been on a few trips with groups of people, and I found that it was not people I knew already, but groups of Christians, that worked together and had a better time :)

sorry if I've offended or upset anybody, I hope you can take something from what I say, but if you don't like it, ignore it; I'm just some random guy after all :P

[Fact]

I totally agree; was going to comment a similar thing. If got were not to exist, there is still such a great feeling you get from it. Also, your overall behaviour tends to improve. That may sound a tad parent-y, but in the long run it's a good thing. Also, most people respect your beliefs and will like you as a person for being a nicer guy (or girl). And it brings people together; I've been on a few trips with groups of people, and I found that it was not people I knew already, but groups of Christians, that worked together and had a better time :)

sorry if I've offended or upset anybody, I hope you can take something from what I say, but if you don't like it, ignore it; I'm just some random guy after all :P

If God turned out not to exist, then you've wasted your whole life around something that wasn't even there in the first place.

Are you implying that you can only be a good person by being religious? Or that it makes you 'better' if you are?

People do not respect other's beliefs - that is why there are many wars over religion.

Religion always causes more shit than it solves.

[UnknownError]

People do not respect other's beliefs - that is why there are many wars over religion.

Religion always causes more shit than it solves.

This.
At my school, if people find out your religious you get called a bible basher. :L
People of the same religion respect each other, but other than that nobody gives a damn.

[Jamie]

I totally agree; was going to comment a similar thing. If got were not to exist, there is still such a great feeling you get from it. Also, your overall behaviour tends to improve. That may sound a tad parent-y, but in the long run it's a good thing. Also, most people respect your beliefs and will like you as a person for being a nicer guy (or girl). And it brings people together; I've been on a few trips with groups of people, and I found that it was not people I knew already, but groups of Christians, that worked together and had a better time :)
OK. I see that you can get a great feeling from it, and I'm fine with that. But for people like the OP, who are pressured, and somewhat forced into religion, it's the exact opposite. The worst part about being pushed into a church is all of the stigma you get when you eventually tell the folks pressuring you that you're not actually a Christian, or that you don't even believe in god. If people want to believe in god, fine. But there's no reason that they should have to try and account for the "sins" of others. If someone wants to rot in a fiery pit with lucifer, it's not for someone else to change. Even then, if you do go to church for the sole purpose of having been pressured into it (and you end up not accepting god, still), and god does turn out to exist, then he's going to realize you're not a true follower, and I doubt he gives you credit just for going to church. Your behavior improvement can come from a lot of things, but usually it's just being around others your age, with the same mindset as you, that tend to have a friendly persona. Something you can find at the YMCA if you enjoy that sort of thing, at the local pub (maybe not the friendly persona*), or anywhere else that tends to provide a warm atmosphere and a lot of somewhat decent folk. It doesn't take church to improve your behavior.
About others respecting your beliefs, that goes with what the two posters above me have pointed out. They only respect your beliefs to a certain extent (oftentimes not at all), unless your beliefs match theirs', then you're fantastic.
Church doesn't make you "nicer" unless you actually went there to somehow improve your life. I know a ton of bitter folk who attend church regularly. The folks in the congregation will like you better, yes, but that's because you're adding to their membership and you fit in with them. I don't mind church for bringing people together, but some of the assemblies churches hold can end up turning out for the worst. Muslims can have a "better time" too, as can Jews, and actually, *forgive me for saying this* atheists can too. :O I know I've just somehow blasphemed, please forgive me.

But in all seriousness, church is all right, if you want to attend and have faith in the deity of that religion, but if you're being pressured into going, it can be very frustrating, and if you have severe social anxiety (like me, and maybe the OP), it can be a bit frightening to go into a single room (or hall) with 50+ people.

If you go to church, fantastic. But if someone else chooses not to go, they shouldn't be forced about going, because if you force them, what would be the point of it? Appearance? Do you want to look better to the pastor, and the congregation by having your entire family attend? If god is as they say, I'm sure he'll see the inner thoughts of those that have been pressured, and I doubt forcing them to go with you will somehow save them if he turns out to truly judge us, should he exist.

[jockboy14]

I get what Jamie is saying, but I was told to go to youth in September of this year. I didn't want to, but I went because my mom wanted me to. Once you figure out that its actually pretty cool, then you start to like it. The way that the youth pastor talks makes it very easy to understand and it fires you up. I gave my life over to Jesus on the 2nd trip and I've talked to others about how they've shared similar feelings of how the little things to them have changed. Just a little better outlook on life, family, friends, etc. Call it what you want, but it works. You parents are just pressuring you to go because they want you to know God, which isn't a bad thing. Perhaps it just isn't your time right now. You may have to try out a few different religions, because I don't get much out of a Catholic mass, but I can get better with a Baptist one. It is about how it relates to you learning.

[Eric.]

I get what Jamie is saying, but I was told to go to youth in September of this year. I didn't want to, but I went because my mom wanted me to. Once you figure out that its actually pretty cool, then you start to like it. The way that the youth pastor talks makes it very easy to understand and it fires you up. I gave my life over to Jesus on the 2nd trip and I've talked to others about how they've shared similar feelings of how the little things to them have changed. Just a little better outlook on life, family, friends, etc. Call it what you want, but it works. You parents are just pressuring you to go because they want you to know God, which isn't a bad thing. Perhaps it just isn't your time right now. You may have to try out a few different religions, because I don't get much out of a Catholic mass, but I can get better with a Baptist one. It is about how it relates to you learning.

Well see, here's the thing with that. You are assuming that if she goes long enough then she will start to like it. Were you an atheist when you started going? or did you just think it was boring?
She is an atheist, and that should be her choice. People do NOT do well with having any kind of religion shoved down their throat. If she decided later on down the road that some form of Christianity (or any religion really) was her calling, then that is perfectly okay! She should go after it and become involved in that religion, but she is an atheist, and that is her choice. No one should try and force her otherwise

[jockboy14]

^^
totally agree that no one should force it. and ya i was in the class where i believed in God and it was like yeaa hes there, but idk if im going to heaven or hell, and it justed wasnt a big part of who i am. i can see how that can be different than someone who doesnt believe in the first place. just know that ur parents are doing what they think is right, its not like they are trying to hurt you or anything.

[Fourth Dimension]

it should be forced on you it should be your choice to go

[brandon.t]

i know how you feel, im atheist and my mom made me go to church. I never listened to a word they said and i NEVER prayed or ever pretended to pray and if someone said anything to me about it i would have told them im atheist and didnt want to be there. But you have to get confirmed if you want to marry or be burried were i am so it was something i had to do....

[SilenceForSilence]

I think If you believe in god that's cool. If not that's cool too. In general, many religions encourage you to become a better person. They may suggest you pray, but you don't have to. you don't have to listen to anything they tell you to do. But a lot of christian teachings are just treat people better and have good friend-making strategies. You may end up being a better people-person in the end. I think you may benefit a little if you go to church. Now here's a strategy about youth group. They may try to get into a spitual mood and it may wierd you out a little. But I'm not sure. do you know which Christian denomination this church is? Catholic? Methodist? Baptist? Lutheran non-denominational ect.? I know about most of the different denominations so if you can give me that then that will help.