College essay (for class)

[Jess]

can someone please read my essay and check for errors and make suggestions? thank you

[hotandgay]

hey i read your essay...it diddnt strike as collage material but it was good...i diddnt find any errors but a lot of diction and syntax could be needed

[Cryofthewolf]

Here, I proofread and added some things to your essay. The grammar and punctuation overall were good, but I changed some of the sentences to make it flow and sound better. You can definitely reword these if you want, as they are there to show you how what you said could be said better.

Let me know if you have any questions about what I wrote, and I will be glad to answer them for you. :)

As I say in the essay, good luck getting into the school that you want! :D