I hate this ....

[paigey]

Great ive now been put in hospital.... ive been there just over a week .... ive really settled in the other kids are great .... its just in the night when im alone , ive started to cut again . I Did a cut across the veins on my wrist . My mum noticed and was like ' your gonna end up killing yourself ' i really wanted to say that was my aim . Someone please help , my constant up and down is driving me insane !! I JUST CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE !!!

[Njathind]

Aww Paige, I'm sorry to hear you are where you are, did you choose to go to hospital or were you forced? If you were willing it's a sign your wanting to get help. At least your getting on with the other kids, thats one thing to be greatfull about if not much else. As for the whole being alone at night thing I know how you feel, I was trying to sleep last night and I couldn't, I kept thinking about things I've fucked up in the past and thats when I cracked open the razor blades, the worst part is today I've been on top of the world because of it.

I find the best thing to do is just get your head down and try and sleep, if not I arse about on the internet or go and get a drink or snack, or watch a DVD. Just try and resist.

I hope your doin OK at the moment :confused:

[paigey]

I Was forced .... thanks for the reply btw. im starting to feel like i need to be in hospital all the time now just to be safe , which is bad .Oh yeah i find it easier if ive got a list of atleast ten things to do instead of cutting . Yeah im ok , im on leave atm... i hope your ok and you didnt go to far with the razor blades ..... please reply...

paige

[Njathind]

Well I'm sorry to hear you were forced. And I'm glad you've got a list of alternative things to do. Just remeber that list when things get tough, and try and do something from that list (sorry if I'm preaching to the converted)

And as for myself I'm ok, I did about 20 medium depth cuts on my arm, and now I've got a stack of washing to try and do in secret so no one finds out as a few things have got covered in blood and puss.

[paigey]

You should really try and stop .... puss ? are you sure you havent got an ifection ? i always used to do that .... just wash my clothes and hope the stains come out ..... anyway keep safe !!!

[Njathind]

Well I think they are ok, there not green or stinky or anything :D

And you take care aswell, you will be better before you know it :hug2: