chazzrox2
December 17th, 2010, 09:56 PM
Six months since my last mental breakdown. Which means I'm due I think. My breakdowns are feeble in comparison to others and I know some people really suffer so I won't pretend that mine are.
But for me they are bad, I have this idea that if I ignore problems they go away, and it works for about half a year but then they all come flooding back. Actually no that's wrong, they creep back, slowly, festering like a mental illness. And I always blow them out of proportion, I look on the bad side of things and the positives in my life sink into the abyss for a short time.
So......checklist:
--Still not in contact with my father who practically abandoned me then when his new life went pear-shaped decided to come back. Oh and he's an unemployed lazy arse of a layabout.
--My degree feels like it's going nowhere, it's not what I want to do but it will eventually allow me to persue my preferred career so i need patience.
--I have no money to speak, yes I'm a student but my whole family is bled dry. Mum can barely afford the house and if Tory cuts hit as hard as they say then she will probably have to move.
--Not completely unrelated to the last one; my mum and her girlfriend are considering moving in together more and more. I'm happy for them but it means my home will be gone, I'll have no excuse to come to this village again and that thought terrifies me.
--I havn't spoken to my "lifelong" friends in 2 months, i've tried to organise things but it turns out they have invited their other friends to meet up with them but I seem forgotten.
So there we go, sorry about taking up your time but this is something that i need to do sometimes, it's not as bad as it has been and hopefully it won't get bad this time...Well here's hoping.
But for me they are bad, I have this idea that if I ignore problems they go away, and it works for about half a year but then they all come flooding back. Actually no that's wrong, they creep back, slowly, festering like a mental illness. And I always blow them out of proportion, I look on the bad side of things and the positives in my life sink into the abyss for a short time.
So......checklist:
--Still not in contact with my father who practically abandoned me then when his new life went pear-shaped decided to come back. Oh and he's an unemployed lazy arse of a layabout.
--My degree feels like it's going nowhere, it's not what I want to do but it will eventually allow me to persue my preferred career so i need patience.
--I have no money to speak, yes I'm a student but my whole family is bled dry. Mum can barely afford the house and if Tory cuts hit as hard as they say then she will probably have to move.
--Not completely unrelated to the last one; my mum and her girlfriend are considering moving in together more and more. I'm happy for them but it means my home will be gone, I'll have no excuse to come to this village again and that thought terrifies me.
--I havn't spoken to my "lifelong" friends in 2 months, i've tried to organise things but it turns out they have invited their other friends to meet up with them but I seem forgotten.
So there we go, sorry about taking up your time but this is something that i need to do sometimes, it's not as bad as it has been and hopefully it won't get bad this time...Well here's hoping.