Lost

[CatchingOrigami]

I dont know whats going on in my head.
It's weird, because everyone thinks I'm perfectly happy. They have absolutely no idea whats going on inside my head. I can laugh and dance and look happy. No one knows a thing, nor do they expect it.
They dont know that everymorning i weigh myself. I feel like no matter what i do, I cant get rid of myself. I just want to disappear. I don't want to be hungry. I dont want to eat. I hate it. My clothes are getting baggier on me, but I still feel as fat and heavy as ever. Perhaps even more so than before.
I havnt had my period in god knows how long. Which isnt a bad thing necessarily. I hate them. I hate being a woman. I want to be a guy. I want to be a child.

[notactive]

It's rather scary how easy it is to fool the people who are supposed to care about you into thinking you are fine when you are not. I feel the same as you, weigh every day, usually more than once, and I am losing weight but I don't see it, I don't feel it. I feel like a stranger in my own skin, like it's not who I am meant to be. I understand feeling lost like this but even if you're family/friends don't know or understand what's going on there are people who do. Here on VT, on other websites and even professionals if you feel you need someone to talk to and help you through this. Hope you feel better soon. =)

[Fiction]

I know exactly how you feel. Unfortunatly people only tend to see what they want to see, or what they expect to see and often not what is really happening.
If you haven't had your period it suggests you are very underweight and that it is having a negative effect on your health. You should really get help before you're forced into it...