People Who Think People Choose To Be Gay

[Cryofthewolf]

Does it drive anyone else INSANE when you hear these people spout this crap? There are people at my church who think this, and they were constantly trying to tell me that I chose to struggle with what I do. This one kid's father, when he found out I was gay/bi (whatever I am) asked him what made me want to choose that. :mad:

Ugh, just want these people to realize that telling people this hurts them and makes them struggle with what is inside them even more. I don't really care if they agree with it or not, but they really need to think about telling somebody they chose their sexuality.

Another thing: Who would know more about homosexuality? The person who is gay/bi/lesbian, or a straight person? Ugh their ignorance astounds me sometimes. :-/

These same people think that depression, alcoholism, drug addiction, mental disorders, etc. are all in the mind. There are too many things to list that they are ignorant in. x_x

I love the people at my church though, and wouldn't choose another place to worship. I just pray that they realize how stupid they are being at some point in time. Alright. Done venting now. ;)

Has anybody else encountered this in their lives, whether from a church-goer, parent, friend, teacher, etc? Share your stories if you need to vent. :P

[Syvelocin]

What I just don't get is why would we just wake up and say "I will never date the opposite sex ever again" if we had purely heterosexual thoughts leading up to that moment? I just don't get that part of it. We choose our sexualities, so homosexuals are denying themselves the opposite sex? If it's a choice, surely you could be attracted to the opposite sex but choose to be gay then? I don't get it. Why aren't all the gays, if we chose to be gay, bisexual then, if it's a choice? I'm personally attracted to all sexes, I don't even care what your sex is. So I identify as pansexual (more accurately, panromantic asexual). I don't deny myself to date a certain sex, because I'm attracted to all of them and I would love to date someone of any of them.

Yep. I woke up one morning and decided I would date girls too. Uh, no. It was more like seeing the first girl I ever found attractive and thinking "Oh holy crap..." O.O Fuck. I think I'm not straight... :P

[Aspiringanonymous]

The 'ignorance of the masses' seem to be rooted in this. The lack of awareness that yes, some people experience their existence, and their reality, differently than yours. Some people relate to specific elements of existence differently than you do. We are all small and fleeting presences in the universe trying to make some sense of our seemingly absurd existence - and we're going to be most comfortable with what makes most sense to us, vice versa. Why would anyway one day decide to take on something that not only make no sense to them whatsoever, but also places them in a marginalized position, subject to hardship from both internally and externally?

Ignorant folks should try it some time, see how it feels. Probably not too good. There you go, there's that 'choice' factor - "believe it not, the discomfort you felt when you -chose- to force yourself into my shoes, are exactly what I would experience if I -chose- to become like one of you."

Humanity has had a history of fighting against one another since the dawn of time, rather than realizing that we as a species (just like every other) have an inherently fragile existence and need each other - yes, every one of each other - if we wish to be conducting our existence with maximized productivity. and that's why we haven't really 'progressed' as much as we like to think we have.

Openness should be selective and strategic - unfortunately - many people are much better off without your trust and confidence.

[Cryofthewolf]

Yes, sadly, that is the case. =-/

With all the fighting in the world, people shouldn't be fighting against love as well. Why do people have to be so wool-headed that they can't see that?

*Sigh* I guess we can't fix everybody, just love them and hope that they change their minds. Aw well, at least we all have each other. <3

[Shenron]

I know exactly what you mean...I hate it when people try to feed me that bullshit. It hurts, it makes me want to yell and scream at them. I did not choose this, this is how I was made, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I love this part of me.

[Dunce]

I dont think I've ever heard it directly from someone, but Ive certainly heard of it on the news and such. Its so close minded. How can you say something like that about something you dont truly understand??

One day my dad and his aunt were talking and somehow the conversation went onto gay people. They didnt say anything bad about them but my Dad said 'I'd say some choose it out of fear of having to find a wife or husband, but some genuinely are'. I didnt really get it, how could someone back out of hetrosexuality? You would really have had to question your sexuality or know someone gay/bi to understand how big sexuality is and how you cant change it. So I sort of understand his point.

Aswell as that I was in a class the other day and the teacher hadnt come yet. And someone was talking about a gay guy they met at a party. This led them to talk about gays. They were saying the usual 'Id love to have a gay best friend' of course they were only talking about boys here. They were saying how gay people have a chemical inbalance(which I dont really like hearing, but alot of science points to that, though I dont think its always the case). Then one said 'Theres nothing wrong with it, and I wouldnt look down on them, but I wouldnt feel comfortable around a lesbian', then the other exclaimed 'Lesbians are different though, they are just not the same as being gay', she said it in a quite "gays are ok, lesbians arent" tone. It really made me rethink how accepting the girls I go to school with are.
And who the hell are they to say gays and lesbians are different?! They dont know, theyre surrounded by images of gay men looking glam and lesbians looking boyish, rough and pervy.
I know some of it's lack of experience, but these people are just close minded :/

[Fourth Dimension]

my dad is that way hes insane he either say we choose to be gay or bi or its a genetic disorder he needs to realzie thats not the case

[The Joker]

These same people think that depression, mental disorders, etc. are all in the mind.

lolwut. They are in the mind...mental=mind.

[Dunce]

lolwut. They are in the mind...mental=mind.

LOL thats what I was thinking, but I didnt want to spark anything. They are in the mind, of course they are. Thats why they're called mental illnesses.

[Alexithymia]

I think he meant in the mind as in you can just get over it if you felt like it.

[Captor K]

I have long since stopped arguing with bimbos who think like this. In some cases, I will actually bother to explain sexuality, but I've found that after having come out this year, and explaining human sexuality a thousand times, you just stop giving a shit. Ironically, in my experience, it's straight girls who come up with the most absurd reasons for why guys are gay. It'll go something like:

Straight: "You're gay? Okay."
Straight girl: "YOU'RE GAY?? OMG!! I THINK YOU'RE GAY BECAUSE SINFKLSNFKSDN AND THERE WAS THIS ONE GUY WHO JDBSBBSK AND THAT'S WHY SOME GUYS ARE GAY."

A bit of an exaggeration? Not really. I've found that guys don't care as much, but girls want the dirty details. Sometimes, though, guys want the dirty details also.

You can do one of two things in these situations: Ignore the rambling idiot, or (at risk), bother to explain homosexuality and remove the associated stigmas. But you can only explain homosexuality thoroughly if you've given it enough study. Be careful, though. I've heard gay people give equally stupid reasons for why people are homosexual too!

[Cryofthewolf]

I think he meant in the mind as in you can just get over it if you felt like it.


Haha yes, that is what I meant. Sorry for not clarifying it. :P

[Craig1995]

Hmm it hurts my feeling more than gets me angry I thinknits coz I know that's defo not the truth. Guess I can just be a bit sensitive about it

[embers]

Yeah, wherever one looks, there will be ignorance.

I'm not gay myself, but I've had discussions with friends on the subject. And in these discussions I've heard some really absurd things as well as the normal b.s. about homosexuality: "Men become gay because they can't find a girl and they just want someone to fuck." Yeah, people around here seem to think that being gay also = being very horny. And of course there's always the argument present that being gay is 'unnatural' - that men were made with penises and women with vaginas, and that's the course of nature, you can only choose otherwise.

People need more education on the subject.

[Cristiann123]

I've realized this in church many many times... too many to be exact! *siiiigh* But that's why I don't go to church anymore... hell, why I'm not christian anymore. I mean, yes, it's a beautiful faith with many valid and acceptable reasons to be.... well, just to be!

But, I don't want a heavenly father, if he's just going to be like my father, telling his followers that me being gay is a choice. That he says he makes us perfectly in his image, just to say that we chose to be ridiculed and made fun of our whole lives.

But yes, I have seen this.

[Fushigi]

no one will get happy unless we learn to accept :) acceptance is the first step... they should accept the feelings of the people around them if the dont want tell them to shut up LOL!!!

[affablyeaseful]

Yes, and I can't stand it!

This tends to be a popular belief among catholics in my church, as well as conservatives (not all of them, but certainly a lot. That goes for catholics too I suppose). Ignorant people in general also hold this belief.

It's one thing to not understand it and believe this and to change your mind after you hear it from someone who's actually LBGT. I like to give people like that the benefit of the doubt. But I can't stand it when people believe this and they assume that they know without ever having experienced being gay.

[Ace7]

It definitely drives me insane. I'm not really sure what my sexual orientation is yet, but I still hate it when people think you chose to be gay. Ugh! I just hate it.