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phish
December 13th, 2010, 03:10 PM
Today I got in a fight at school, but that's not the problem, let me backtrack. There's this guy, he's a fishing guide and I love to fish, I emailed him last summer and offered him free labor and kissed his ass, because he knows tons of people in the biz, but more importantly, I had(and still don't) no friends, and nothing to do. So, now I can never figure out where we stand, I basically worship him, but I feel like if I stopped communicating with him, all communications between us would stop, but when I call him, email him, or talk to him, he always shows me kindness. He owes me a fishing trip(gas for a boat is very expensive, that's how he paid me) and he's been dawdling for 6 months about this trip, telling me he's buzzy, which he is, but that doesn't absolve you of your debts.

Anyway, in an angry letter to a local fishing club who's members have to be 18 I wrote this:

" Dear Sir,

Why is it that you have age restrictions on your members? It is the duty of anyone is a spot of any kind to teach the youth, and fishing is no exception. Especially in these times we need to teach the youth to fish, video games, television and Facebook seem to dominate our lives these days, and this is no more true then for our children. Many anglers are working hard to bring children into the sport and your organization does absolutely nothing to help their efforts, even the efforts of your own members. I assume the problem is liability, but I have an easy way to get around that, ask that their parents are present, that seems to be the general consensus.



I don't see why a great angler's group such as your would have such an absurd rule, and all I ask is that you allow minors to join your club, if not for your benefit, if not for their's, but for the common benefit."



Here's the reply "Our members introduce youngsters to fishing every year and if and when they come of age and want to become members of our club we welcome them to apply."


And my rebuttal:
" That doesn't answer my question. Being a group doesn't absolve you of your responsibly to pass on the sport. I know lots of your members introduce kids to fishing, I know one of your members, insert name, has probably taught more kids to fish than anyone else in this city, my point is that your group doesn't do the least thing to pass on the spot, only individual members do, and perfectly frank, that's selfish and disgusting. People are only offended when things are true, if I just called you by some derogatory insult you'd probably laugh at me and point out of what a weak human being I was, but I didn't and from the tone of your email, I'm assuming you were insulted, perhaps you should consider that, sir."


Anyway, so I wake up to this email:

"I think you are way off base emailing to insert name the kind of email you sent him about the Anglers Club. Sometimes in life you have to stay on the nice side of things to get anywhere. I thought the email you sent him was way off base and DO NOT EVER use my name when sending an email that is derogatory as the one you sent. I am embarrassed over it. Again, keep my name out of any negative emails you ever send."



Now, I am not sure how to handle this situation, what should I do, how should I talk to him? What should I do?

Cryofthewolf
December 14th, 2010, 02:37 PM
I'd definitely talk to him, but maybe wait and let things settle before you approach him. People sometimes say and do things out of anger that they don't really mean. Well, maybe you meant that youths should be allowed in the program, but the other stuff, I doubt you really meant.

If he's a good guy he will realize that you made a mistake and forgive you. To be honest, some things might change between you two, but that may not be the case.

I have sent messages to people out of anger. For example, I sent an angry text to my youth pastor a while ago and felt terrible about it afterwards. We talked about it, he forgave me, and we moved on with our lives. He knows that I have a hot head at times, and he accepts that about me, just like I accept the negative things about him. In order to have a relationship with people, one has to recognize that they have weaknesses, and they need to be accepted so the relationship can last.

If possible, approach him directly and ask to talk about things. I'll pray that things work out between you two.

By the way, I wasn't sure if the e-mail was sent to the man you fish with or somebody else. Could you clarify that for me?

CaptainObvious
December 14th, 2010, 02:58 PM
You need to learn that most of the time in life, kicking and screaming (even when you're right) doesn't get you anywhere. And if you used this guy's name in that email, you should apologize immediately to him - he is completely justified in being unhappy at having his name connected to what is a rather histrionic and overly aggressive complaint.