I cut for the first time

[Becca]

About four weeks ago I quit taking my medication and got really depressed. I know it was stupid of me but they don't seem to work. I decided to live with a friend for awhile to get out of my house and try and get things off my mind. I had quit doing my school work a couple of weeks ago and one of my teachers decided to talk to me about it. I told her that I have been diagnosed with bi-polar, that I also have depression pretty badly, and I've been stressed. And that not doing my work has helped the stress to go down. She said to me that she doesn't care about my feelings and that its my job to make her happy. Thats when I grabbed some staples and cut myself 16 times on top of my left hand and left wrist. Its been about a week now and I'm afraid to tell my family. The cuts are almost gone too.

[Bobby]

Do you plan on cutting again?

[schrei jess]

First of all, know that you are not alone, and you have people here who care and want to help you! Especially me.

That teacher was an ass to say that to you, and I cant believe someone would be that heartless. Some of my teachers know that I am severely depressed and cant concentrate enough to get work done or even stay at school the whole day. I am falling behind, but they dont hastle me about it. Im sorry that your teacher isnt compassionate enough to see that what you're going through is hard and tough to deal with.

Now about the cutting, how deep were the cuts? Im guessing they werent too deep because the scars faded pretty quickly right? Thats a good thing, if cutting becomes a habit for you, keep yourself from going to deep. My cuts are never deep enough to do any damage - and they go away in about two weeks, is that the way yours are? Try to avoid this teacher, or at least to the work in her class so she wont make you feel even worse, it sounds like she's the reason you cut in the first place, along with your emotional problems. If you can do the work in her class, and try to keep her from bothering you, you'll be a lot better off.

If you ever need help, advice, or just want to talk you can PM/IM me and Ill help as best as I can. Ive been severely depressed for around 3 years, been cutting for about two years, and I have a family history of mental disorders (Depression and bi-polar), I believe I may be bi-polar as well, maybe we can help each other.

[~Cookie~]

Becca T.T.You know you can always call me when you feel like this.No matter what time it is.My cell is on at night for these reasons.As for Mrs.Whatsherface I still wish you would let me talk to her -_-.She needs to know that what she said was wrong.

[Becca]

Well I don't plan on cutting again but I know that if something were to happen I might end up doing it anyways, whether I like it or not. My first two cuts weren't very deep but I they were deep enough to bleed for a few seconds. The rest were scratches and are almost gone now. I feel bad about doing it because so many people are upset at me. I know I'm not alone because two of my closest friends do it and even my sister has once. I'm just really worried that I might do it again and that I might go deeper. And I'm afraid of getting addicted to doing it.

[~Cookie~]

Its good that your worried.It shows that it really does matter to you.Becca you see me every day.Think about what happend to me last year.I know you don't want any of that happening to you.When you want to cut but are afraid to tell anyone think of what my arm looks like.Do you really want your arm to look like mine?To be afraid to take of your sweat shirt and to wear it all summer and suffer because your ashamed of what you did yet at the same time you don't want to stop.I know your better then that Becca.*huggles* Im always here or you.No matter what you do I won't stop being your friend.But I should warn you some people will...

[Becca]

Thank-you Kathy for still being my friend, and I've seen your arm but didn't know how bad you felt about it. I wish some things were different but not everybody gets what they want.