So this is it.

[Fiction]

So this me... admitting defeat. I can't do it anymore. I keep pretty much almost breaking down mentally. I'm going to do something drastic soon I can tell. I don't know what it id but i'm at bursting point. I want help so much, from anyone. I can't cope by myself anymore. I don't admit defeat but i will now because i'm loosing this... I can't stop cutting. I don't want to stop cutting. I like my scars, but I wish they'd go away. I'm so out of control of everything. I can't deal with it.

Thank you to anyone who replies. it really is appreciated so much, you have no idea.

[Scarface]

Kathy, :hug3: I'm very sorry you're going through so much right now. You just have so many thoughts and some of them seem to be contradicting another and how hard that is.

Do you have any other outlets besides cutting? Like getting yourself out of the house to ride bikes with people. I find myself that exercising really helps when you have something on your mind. Especially when they're strong emotions such as anger/fear/sadness you'll be not only getting exercise, but you'll also be able to take all of your emotions out on riding bikes or any kind of activity like it that you might enjoy. Like some people play football to get their anger out after a nasty day.

When you have time to think and really sit on some of these thoughts they will really start to fester and cause more problems and contradict yourself. You don't want those scars anymore, but the urge to cut is so bad, that you just can't help, but not care about having scars

Another great thing if you haven't already considered starting a journal? Remember though hide it in a safe spot that way no one will find it. Where you can write down all our feelings and everything you could ever want. Sometimes it's just good to either talk to someone you trust about it or write it down. I hope things get better for you Kathy.

[Fiction]

Thanks for your reply.
I have too much work at the moment to for anything like going on bike rides. I seriously have worked 11 hours today on school work.
It's not just not caring about the scars... i like them... but i don't.
I would forget to write in a journal and I would be so scared of someone finding it. I have enough things hidden in my room already :/

[Cloud]

15 bullets remember :)
you might say unstable and confusing
i say NEW PUZZLE TIME

Oh your also not allowed to admit defeat, since i said so
and that little voice in the back of your head is telling you not to, and that little voice is also right here telling you not to
youll get pissed off with us sooner or later and eventually itll be easier to listen to us than endure the annyances of having us repeat ourselves
MUAHHAAHAHA

[Fiction]

Oh God :O Calum in my head.... that seriously must be hell! ;P

[Cloud]

Its hell having me in my own
its a lot of maths stuff
and you only know GCSE maths *gasp* although atleast youd be sure to pass 1 exam A level style L:D

[Fiction]

And i don't even really know that.... fucking hell don't remind me off all the exams i need to revise for ¬¬

[screamtobeheard]

I know what you mean, with loving the scars but wanting them to go away. But don't give up, you can get through it. I know it's a lot to go through, but you've got a lot of support here. It sounds like a lot of thoughts contradict each other, and I know what that's like. It's hard and confusing and, quite frankly, it sucks. But you'll get through it. Just keep persevering. Good luck, hun. :hug3:

[Fiction]

Thanks Amanda :hug:

[Mike321]

Sorry to hear your going through a tough time, you've got alot of contradicting thoughts and, as I'm sure you know, are really confusing. And I can sort of relate with the scar thing, I like them but I really wish they werent there.
I dont really know what advice to offer you, but your a really really strong person and you will get through this Kathy.
You have mine and everyone on here's support.
You can do it

[Fiction]

Thanks Mike.

[whereismymind]

Don't give up ignore anything that tells you to. You've given me a lot of advice and you're strong.

[Fiction]

Thankyou :)

[Tristin.]

never, ever give up, you can overcome anything and everything!!!!

[Fiction]

I will try not too. Thanks :)