I have a problem.

[georgiamay]

It's getting worse. Again. I used to be able to go a few days without it, or sometimes even 2 weeks. I once got to... 90 days or something?

But now it's getting so much harder again. I've cut 3 days in a row now, and I'm almost 100% sure I will tonight. I just want it so much.

I don't know what it is, but every single one of my problems have been worse over the last few days. I've been more anxious, not over exams, but over walking too quickly and catching up with the people infront of me and feeling really awkward, and walking too slowly and being caught up with by the people behind me and getting really awkward. Pathetic I know, but it made me really scared (and I mean terrified) on the way home from school today >.<. I've been feeling pretty depressed for the last few days, and so irritable. I've been snapping at everyone, and then feeling really stupid about it afterwards, and I'm convince I'm a horrible person every time I snap.

Maybe karate will releive some of the tension, but doing a bit of exercise just isn't enough. I'm almost certain I'll do it again tonight, there's not point talking me out of it.

I'm scared my parents might give me another body check soon though. But seriously, do they really expect me to stop just because they know about it now? It takes more than that to make me stop.

I'm scared. It's like I want to keep cutting. In a way I do, because I don't know if I'll be able to cope without it. Hopefully therapy will help though, right? Maybe the meds they want to put me on will help too. Or maybe they'll make me so numb it makes my self harm even worse. I don't know.

My hips are a mess, and I'm starting to run out of skin, and I've moved down to upper thing. The look a total mess.

rant much? Yeah, I think it is.

[Fiction]

Georgia the fact that you went so long in the past means that you CAN do it again, you just have to regain that control. It might be hard but it's something you have to do. Things will all work out in the end, whether therapy and meds stop you or not, something will. You won't be doing this forever, I promise.

[Mike321]

I can sort of relate to what you said about the walking too quickly thing, I've been like this the past couple of days having to constanly cross the road if I catch someone up, and feeling really strange/ awkward when I do.
And as Kathy said, you've already proved to yourself that you can go 90 odd days without cutting, which means you can do it again, its not impossible.
Its not going to be easy I know, and I can't say whether the therapy will help, only time will tell, you've got nothing to loose by giving it a go.
Your are not a horrible person, by any means, you won't feel like this forever, it will stop.
Feel free to PM me if you need a chat

[MadManWithaBox]

The meds will help Georgia. Depending on what they are/quantity, they won't numb you, they'll ease the pain. And without the pain, you won't need to cut. Cutting is not a good way to cope of course. But for some, they cope using it. Therapy, and meds will help, but you have to be open to it helping Georgia. Go in there with an open mind, and tell what you're feeling, and it'll help, I guarantee.

[Love.Hate]

Georgia the fact that you went so long in the past means that you CAN do it again

I think this really sums it up.
You can get back to those 90 days, and many more.
Ok so yes your going through a bit of a hard time, doing it everyday makes you feel like you cant live without it, but you can.
Your a strong person.. Even if you can just overcome tonight's
cutting to prove to yourself you can do it, then it will be an acheivement.

You can do it!

Im always here, and if you do cut (try not to) dont cut as much as you usually would... Maybe you could try doing less and less each day until you finally stop?
Love fran xx