AppealToReason
December 7th, 2010, 12:24 AM
It doesn't matter if anyone reads this. Just want to rant a little...
I'm physically and mentally tired right now. This morning, I had a little break down. I didn't go to school and still feel crappy. My grandmother (takes care of me) recently broke her hip and can't do much. My mom and younger sisters also moved back in for a few days, but they are adding to my stress. I've sprained two of my fingers and my ribs hurt, yet I'm still expected to clean the dishes, wash the clothes, make dinner, clean the house, ect. I'm also expected to get a job soon to help pay for food, but I'm not sure if I can handle it due to school work.
Lately, I've been sucking in most of my classes. Last year I would be doing great and try my hardest to get A's or high B's. This year I've pretty much given up. I am barely passing most of my classes and I rarely talk to my friends outside of school. I've also started missing a lot of days because I don't want people to see me when I'm down. I haven't been able to sleep much for some reason. The only way for me to sleep is by taking some pills, but no one knows that. I started cutting and smoking again, though not as much as I used to. I feel like I'm shutting down, but I'm doing my best not to show it. I hate having people worry about me. I want to get help of some sorts, but don't want my family to find out. I can't deal with them knowing something is up with me.
I don't know, I feel like I should just suck it up, but it's hard.
Sorry for the rant/confusing parts..hate typing with my left hand. Just feels nice to open up sometimes.
I'm physically and mentally tired right now. This morning, I had a little break down. I didn't go to school and still feel crappy. My grandmother (takes care of me) recently broke her hip and can't do much. My mom and younger sisters also moved back in for a few days, but they are adding to my stress. I've sprained two of my fingers and my ribs hurt, yet I'm still expected to clean the dishes, wash the clothes, make dinner, clean the house, ect. I'm also expected to get a job soon to help pay for food, but I'm not sure if I can handle it due to school work.
Lately, I've been sucking in most of my classes. Last year I would be doing great and try my hardest to get A's or high B's. This year I've pretty much given up. I am barely passing most of my classes and I rarely talk to my friends outside of school. I've also started missing a lot of days because I don't want people to see me when I'm down. I haven't been able to sleep much for some reason. The only way for me to sleep is by taking some pills, but no one knows that. I started cutting and smoking again, though not as much as I used to. I feel like I'm shutting down, but I'm doing my best not to show it. I hate having people worry about me. I want to get help of some sorts, but don't want my family to find out. I can't deal with them knowing something is up with me.
I don't know, I feel like I should just suck it up, but it's hard.
Sorry for the rant/confusing parts..hate typing with my left hand. Just feels nice to open up sometimes.