The Counselor

[Alexithymia]

To start out this post, I have to ask for two things. First of all, can you post a website for suggestions to not cut? And secondly, can we get a sticky of a post about that? Would be helpful for those stressful times. (Tried the icecube thing and it didn't work, attempting to do the 5 minute thing. Writing and talking to my friend on Skype helps.)

Now, on to the more diary part of this post. I guess I just want to get it out. Sorry if this isn't the place for it. I went to see a counselor today. He's okay, I guess. Basically he just showed me how screwed up my life is. Apparently the next session is going to try and figure out what I can do to help that. So, that was completely inspiring. Then I get into multiple fights with my mom, and my friend is being a jerk. I just dismantled a razor last night so I can have one where ever I am. I'm the loner is school. I truthfully just suck. The only real attribute I have is being intelligent, and even then I'm not that smart. I'm not athletic. I'm a narcissist. I just feel sucky.

I guess I'm not asking for help. I just want someone to know. And since my friend's being a jerk, I can't confide to her. My real life friends would freak out. Ugh, sorry. I guess I'll stop ranting now, I could go on for pages.

[Brittany123]

If you ever need someone to talk to message me I have been through alot and I know that it helps to have someone to talk to.

[Syvelocin]

Have you read the announcement Ant (Maverick) posted? It contains some posts other have written in the past, with a very sizeable list (hundreds) of alternatives. You should check it out, it has helped me a lot.

Hopefully your counselor meetings will get better. Usually the first few meetings might seem overwhelming or gritty, but as you see him more it should smooth out. Hey, I actually wish my therapist was talking about how screwed up I am. I think it beats having to pay her for talking about the latest Harry Potter movie for 45 minutes because I can't speak up :/

Try to not let all that get to you. And if you're trying to stop cutting, I wouldn't take the blades out. I know you want to, but what can help me sometimes is having someone, for me it's my fiancé, hide the razors. He knows where they are if I get too desperate so I don't do anything worse than a razor cut, but it can encourage me to not self-harm since I'd have to find them and he's really good about where he hides them, plus I'd have to get the blades out of the disposable head.

There's always something that makes you, you. So you're not athletic. So? An athelete's career lasts for at most a decade. Then what do those jocks have to go on? You could do most everything. It's common to not have discovered your true self yet, or be indecisive on that sort of thing. I'm having trouble with that in uni even.

Hope you feel better :hug:

[Alexithymia]

I'm looking at those things in the announcement. Guess I just forget about them :\ Not sure what I'm feeling right now. Kind of a mix between urges to cut and just wanting to feel something and wanting to feel pain. Gah, I'm so messed up. And now I feel like an attention seeker.

[Brittany123]

you are not an attention seeker if you are just honestly asking for help.

[Fiction]

I feel like an attention seeker a lot of the time, but humans need attention. An attention seeker is someone who is willing to make up lies, or make a huge fuss over something in order to gain attention. Asking for help is technically attention seeking, but it's seeking it in the right way, for the right reasons and therefore does not count in the conventional definition of an "attention- seeker".
You just have to tell yourself and realise this. Asking for attention is not always a bad thing, everyone needs it sometimes. Ask yourself this, do you crave help and attention and do not care about the way that you get it, you'll try anything? Or do you want help and care about one particular problem that is bothering you?
Ask yourself this and you'll know if your attention seeking or not.

[Mike321]

We all need help and attention sometimes, I've felt like an attention seeker loads of times.
But if your genuinely asking for help then, I dont think your an attention seeker.
The first few times you see a councillor can be a abit , but hopefuly they will get easier and they will be able to help you

[Alexithymia]

Thanks. Would he have to remain confidential about the cutting if I told him? I want help, but my parents would freak.

[Syvelocin]

Technically, there is confidentiality. Your counselor only has the right to tell your parents if he/she personally thinks your life is in danger, e.g. thinking about killing yourself. However, you must know that this hasn't stopped professionals before from telling parents. But really, they're not supposed to.

[Alexithymia]

All right, thanks. I guess I'll try and tell him soon.