My sh

[Kelsey123]

Okay so i've suffered from self harm for a long time now. I"m 19 and this has been going on for many years. My bf isn't very understanding. Anytime I do SH he tells me "you know I hate it when you do that" in a real mean unloving voice. It hurts my feelings. I mean I am doing better. My SH is stabbing my arms with pens or slapping my arms/legs/head. I havent stabbed in a very long time but I do slap sometimes.

And you know i've been trying...I just don't know what to do....I can't just wake up one day and stop...it's not that simple and it seems like that's what he expects...what should I do?

[georgiamay]

Have you tried explaining to him why it's not that simple? Maybe telling him how hard it is for you to stop, and it feels like an addiction would help. He's your boyfriend, so you should be completely honest with him. Tell him how self harm makes you feel, and why you do it, and what makes it so hard to stop.

Have you tried to elastic band thing? wear an elastic band around your wrist and snap against your skin whenever you have the urge to hurt yourself. Or you could get an ice cube when you want to self harm and hold onto it until it's melted and the urge has gone.

[Kelsey123]

idk a rubber band might draw attention...

[georgiamay]

would it? I always have a rubber band around my wrist, and no one has ever noticed it before. If you just wear a thin one, no one will notice it at all.

[CatchingOrigami]

Rubber bands are still a form of self harm, because it's self inflicted pain.
The ice idea isn't bad, one of my friends had a small object that she'd keep in her pocket, and when she felt bad she'd hold it and it would remind her to be strong and of all the happy times.

[georgiamay]

Rubber bands are still a form of self harm, because it's self inflicted pain.

But it's a distraction from other forms of self harm. It's harder to go cold turkey, and you're mor likely to slip back if you try cold turkey. So elastic bands do help, and I'm sure you'd rather snap an elastic band against your wrist twice a day than slip back and end up in hospital. I know I would.

[Fiction]

My boyfriend was the same for a long time, still is sometimes. You just have to realise that he doesn't know how it feels, and he doesn't understand it. I know it's upsetting but you just have to understand that.
You should try to explain it though. The more you explain it to him the more likley he is to understand.

[1_21Guns]

If you've never done it, you'll never understand, may people don't realise it's an addiction that you can't just as you said, wake up one morning and stop for the rest of your life.
Nothing much will really help him understand, but you're clearly trying as hard as you can, and you seem to have come a long way and that's all that really matters.
I know you want him to understand, and the what he says because he doesn't understand hurts, but he'll never fully understand.
As Kathy and Georgia said, try to explain that it is an addiction, not a hobby.
There are other ways as Georgia said, that elastic band thing isn't actually that noticable, it's quite normal to keep one on your wrist, and it's not unusal to fidgit when your bored, so it doesn't actually look that strange.
Good luck hun :hug3: