Isolation threw lies.

[XxMurderedKissesxX]

I dont know why, sometimes I dont even realize im doing it until its to late to stop myself..But I find the constant need to lie. If I lie, people will get fed up and leave. It allows me to push away with a shield that they dont know the truth, so if they dont know the truth they cant judge and reject the real me. I know its stupid but im afraid to put down these walls ive bulit. Im chronically
depressed. I have to be hii or drunk just to beable to smile. I hate myself, and whats worse is I think if finally met someone I dont want to push away but I dont know how to put down these walls to let them in. : / What should I do?

[Kaius]

Is there anyone you could go to about it? Maybe like a school counsellor? Things like that come in cycles, and they're not easy to help unless you break that cycle starting with the source. Depression is not an easy thing to battle with, its very difficult to cope with alone. If you need anyone to talk to or just someone to listen feel free to pm or email me, i'd be happy to any time you need.

[DecemberFlower]

That's exactly what i'm like , if you feel you can trust this person the walls should come down on their own mine did for that one person