Venting, Ritalin and Caffeine?

[Sordid Saint]

ok, I didn't know whether to put this in the psychiatric ward or drugs and meds but I'll just put it here.


First, I'm sorry if this gets lengthy, I'm on caffeine and it's making my mind race with thoughts, I just need to vent.

So, today I had pretty much a completely shitty day. I don't really want to go into details, but I felt pretty much every bad emotion there is. So much fighting and arguing I can't handle it anymore. I needed something to get me away and help me escape from this shit, and this is completely not like me to do anymore, but I took around 300-400mg of caffeine pills through the nose, although the first time was just for fun. Now, I just took around 400 more, and it's helping me kind of, but I still need something to get my mind away. Mind you this is not like me at all, I have no clue why I have urges. It must just be because I'm so pissed off, disappointed, sad, and fed up. I usually never go past marijuana or mushrooms anymore. I stopped doing everything else a while ago. So, I have 40mg of LA (long action) Ritalin, and I don't know whether to do it or not because I know it will DEFINITELY interact with the caffeine. Also, it's 1:30AM and I have school in the morning. I just took a shit ton of caffeine too, so I won't get to sleep tonight anyways until around 4 or 5 earliest. My anxiety is kicking in very VERY badly right now, and I need something to help me get away. So, is it ok to take these two together? All I'll be doing is laying down in my bed trying to think of happier times.

Right now, the caffeine is making me feel kind of better, but I feel like it's making me paranoid and anxious, although that may just be my regular problems. My hands are typing way too fast, trying to go faster than my mind can say everything. I need to go back an retype almost every sentence if I don't pay close attention to what I'm typing.

My emotions, like I said, are through the roof, and I wish I would have talked to someone instead of turning to drugs. This is how I got into them before, and I don't want to go past marijuana and mushrooms again like I used to.

I really don't want to hear about how they're bad for me and stuff, I've hear that way too many times, and I'm not stupid. I know my risks and possible consequences, and even though people are going to say it anyways, it's just going to make me more stressed and pissed.

What I would like is for people to tell me what they think I should do, without just saying no because drugs are bad. I feel so worthless right now. All I try to do is help and it's making everything in my life worse. I can't be the good person to everyone, and I'm getting torn the fuck apart when I try to help someone or tell them what's best for them.

And my school doesn't help any more. I'm constantly getting shit from my teachers and parents about my grades, and no one trusts me anymore. No matter what I do to try to please people, I end up getting the shit end and getting stressed about it. I can't even eenjoy my own personal life anymore. I'm not trusted enough to go out with my friends of the friends I have left.

I'm pretty picky about my friends. I don't want them to be just anyone. I want people that I can aactually relate to and have a lot in common with me, but there's not too many of those. I end up getting in fights with other kids because of my aggression.

Please help.

[staying_alive]

I'm sorry i missed this post, I haven't been on in a while. I'm terribly sorry for your situation, and you should know that there's always someone willing to help you out. There's a key ingredient here, though, and I think you've got it: you need to want to help yourself out.

As for your night. I don't understand why on earth you would turn to caffeine first to "get your mind away". Has anything that anyone's ever told you indicate that caffeine will do that? Personally, as I was reading this, I first thought the 300-400mg was ritalin, and I was about to start crying or googling teen deaths (or both), becuase that would surely kill you. So we have that to be glad about. I also don't understand why you'd take ritalin, which only adds to the caffeine. Also, your emotions will go further through the roof with either of these substances, obviously more so if you combine both. So basically, I know why you did what you did, but I don't know why you chose those drugs. I would've chosen a depressant like weed or alcohol, and then subsequently passed out and gotten some sleep.

I get it. My life seriously sucks sometimes and I just want to crawl into a little hole and let the world collapse around me. I'm not saying it's anywhere near what you were experiencing the other night - no one wants to hear that people "have been there" and that "it'll get better eventually", especially teens. But seriously, don't ever do that again. It'll raise your anxiety and make your depression worse. Trust me, I take adderall and took ritalin before that, and it takes a serious negative toll on your mood.

PM me if you need someone to talk to. I like to think that I've been where you are, but maybe you can enlighten me a bit if I haven't. Good luck.

[Sordid Saint]

I'm sorry i missed this post, I haven't been on in a while. I'm terribly sorry for your situation, and you should know that there's always someone willing to help you out. There's a key ingredient here, though, and I think you've got it: you need to want to help yourself out.

As for your night. I don't understand why on earth you would turn to caffeine first to "get your mind away". Has anything that anyone's ever told you indicate that caffeine will do that? Personally, as I was reading this, I first thought the 300-400mg was ritalin, and I was about to start crying or googling teen deaths (or both), becuase that would surely kill you. So we have that to be glad about. I also don't understand why you'd take ritalin, which only adds to the caffeine. Also, your emotions will go further through the roof with either of these substances, obviously more so if you combine both. So basically, I know why you did what you did, but I don't know why you chose those drugs. I would've chosen a depressant like weed or alcohol, and then subsequently passed out and gotten some sleep.

I get it. My life seriously sucks sometimes and I just want to crawl into a little hole and let the world collapse around me. I'm not saying it's anywhere near what you were experiencing the other night - no one wants to hear that people "have been there" and that "it'll get better eventually", especially teens. But seriously, don't ever do that again. It'll raise your anxiety and make your depression worse. Trust me, I take adderall and took ritalin before that, and it takes a serious negative toll on your mood.

PM me if you need someone to talk to. I like to think that I've been where you are, but maybe you can enlighten me a bit if I haven't. Good luck.

Hehehe, caffeine speeds up my ADHD and takes my thoughts away from other things. This is why I took it. Also, I had a little bit of a weird night before I got home with alcohol, so I didn't really have a sense of what I was doing. My cousin was like "Here's some caffeine and ritalin" and I took it without thinking about how stupid it sounds to take caffeine pills lmao.