Eye Contact

[Azunite]

I have no idea why really,,,,
But I always avoid direct eye contact with girls, and as I said I don't know. When we face each other and there is like a half meter between us, I simply look like 1 cm next to her eye but not directly in the center. And if I look directly in her eyes ( or someone's ) I feel as if my eyes are on the same point, locked and it would look kinda awkard from outside...

Anyone like this ?

[Art_dude]

definitely! I'm not a huge fan of eye contact at ALL. But then again I have a lot of social anxiety.

Maybe you just don't like the feeling of direct eye contact? idk... you seem pretty social so I'm guessing you don't have like this "fear of women" or fear of interaction.

[Azunite]

My sociality simply disappears when it comes to girls so yes I have that kind of fears.
I don't know, really for example we were talking today and I sat right opposite to her, she looked at me I looked at her but I wished I would look somewhere completely else, anywhere but eyes!

[salema]

yes taht's right eye contact make some confusion keep away from it is the best

[Art_dude]

And it's only around girls? Then in that case it sounds like you have a fear of talking to girls. THe best thing to deal with that is simply expose yourself with eye contact slowly over a large period of time. For example, try keeping eye contact with a girl while talking for about 3 or 4 seconds each day. As you feel more comfortable try to build up to 5-10 seconds. The sooner you make unconscious mind realize there's nothing to be afraid of, the sooner you'll feel more comfortable about keeping eye contact with girls. I hope that works/makes sense :D

[Amnesiac]

I avoid eye contact with everyone, especially girls. I hate people catching me accidentally looking at them, it's awkward as fuck. Makes me seem creepy.

[scuba steve]

I avoid eye contact with everyone, especially girls. I hate people catching me accidentally looking at them, it's awkward as fuck. Makes me seem creepy.

I get this all the time! I'm always looking around me, it's just something I do and when I lock eye-contact with anyone, that brief 2-3 second staring period really makes me feel creepy. But when i'm in conversation I have no problem with eye-contact really regardless of who i'm talking to.

[Azunite]

Yes CAwesome thats my fear, I think as if I look creepy from outside!
And Alex well it is not that I fear talking to girls, when I talk to them I don't feel I have enough attention of me, it feels as if I am not saying something useful, or important or, well you know what I mean and then I just dontb other

[The Madman]

No I don't really have a problem of talking to girls. I have plenty of friends who are girls and I always look them in the eye.

It seems to me that you have a slight fear of eye contact with girls only. You don't want to look them in the eye in case they look at you back and it becomes awkward.
As Art Dude said
THe best thing to deal with that is simply expose yourself with eye contact slowly over a large period of time. For example, try keeping eye contact with a girl while talking for about 3 or 4 seconds each day. As you feel more comfortable try to build up to 5-10 seconds.

This is a very good way. As this is a fear ( a minor one ) it can be dealt with easily. Just look at a girl in the eye when talking very quickly then look away. Build up your time looking at them. I used to be extremely scared of heights, wouldn't go up a ladder but I just climbed some hills and ladders and It went away, althought not fully.

Fear is just part of your bad side telling you not to do things in case something bad happens. Thats all it is.

I also assume you don't have this trouble with guys? Just pretend you are talking to a guy or... no that sucks. But anyway I am kinda rambiling but I hope you get my point. Just look them in the eye quickly then look away and build it up.

I hope that I helped you PrinceOfMadness!

[Kaius]

I hate eye contact with people except if im around someone im comfortable with.. which isn't a lot of people lol.

[dmeek7]

Try looking at the space inbetween her eyes. It looks like you are looking into her eyes, but you technically arent. Plus, it's really hard to look at both eyes at the same time. You always go back and forth from looking at one eye to the other. Eye contact is really important. It lets a person know you are interested in what they are saying, and it also gives them a feeling of "wow, this guy actually cares enough to look at me in the eyes instead of my breats"

[Art_dude]

Try looking at the space inbetween her eyes. It looks like you are looking into her eyes, but you technically arent. Plus, it's really hard to look at both eyes at the same time. You always go back and forth from looking at one eye to the other. Eye contact is really important. It lets a person know you are interested in what they are saying, and it also gives them a feeling of "wow, this guy actually cares enough to look at me in the eyes instead of my breats"

This is very crucial. Prince of Madness, everything this user said is critical in building strong trust and relationships - whether with girls or with guys. Giving someone eye contact shows that you're listening, you're direct, and that you care. I know you said that you feel like you don't have anything of importance to say so you feel "why bother." This is the exact attitude that girls are run away from. Girls want a confident guy that believes in what he's saying. If you're giving off a vibe that what you feel you're saying isn't important, she'll agree with you. But if you give direct eye contact and have a lot of confidence, she'll feel you're sincerity no matter WHAT you're saying. You could be talking about the weather or a stupid youtube video and she'll pay attention if you maintain eye contact and keep a confident demeanor.

As I said in the earlier post, it's easier said than done, so try doing the exposure therapy I recommended - building up slowly to longer periods of eye contact. Also what the above user said about staring inbetween the eyes is a great tip!

[Azunite]

dmeek and art_dude, thank you both :)

[Fact]

The whole issue of eye contact in general is awkward!
I know quite a lot of people that don't make eye contact when talking and I find it a bit unnerving sometimes because then I feel like they're looking at my face and then I'm thinking "oh god, what's wrong with my face?" XD

On the other hand, I hate it when you're talking to someone and you make eye contact and they get all freaked out, but don't say anything about it, so they just look away from you or whatever.

Sorry this was a little out of context for you Cengiz!
Like Alex said though, building up to eye contact is probably the best thing ^^
The more you practise doing it, the more natural and less awkward it seems :]

[Azunite]

She looks like a type that would say " Whoa only guy who doesnt stare at my boobs! " ( although hers are not too big :P ) so I'll try the contact thing.
And I think my problem was that I felt that I looked awkward from appereance when I stared at one eye, I never thought to stare between them!
Thanks guys,
P.S. : Fact, you indeed messed the thread up with outofcontext stuff, die! :P

[dmeek7]

Hey, I am glad I could help! I hope it all goes good in the end. :D