Scared, A Revelation

[mxrider155]

I'm actually scared for myself right now. No, not suicide, just, how I'm growing up. I've never admitted it to myself, until now. I just can't put up with it being inside and having no one to talk to.

At school, I keep to myself. I'm not funny, or quick-witted, or good in social situations really. The few friends I do have only really talk to me when know one else they could be with is around. I feel like a last resort, but take it to avoid being seen all alone all the time. There are only 2-3 people I would feel comfortable talking about something serious with, like if I had a problem. Only 3 of my teachers know who I am, and one of them is the gifted teacher, who I have had for 3 years and understands me (I hope). My other teachers just see me as a desk that is filled, and as another paper to grade. I used to be known as the smart kid, the one who always tried. Somehow, I let myself turn into the kid that works alone who doesn't really talk unless spoken to. I am polite and respectful, but I think it comes across as being cold and without a personality. I appear calm, relaxed, and as I don't care; I am trying to hide my fears and feelings behind the figurative plastic mask.

Anyone who can relate? I would just like to know how your dealing with whatever your dealing with...

[Fiction]

I suppose I can kind of relate. I'm the kid with no problems whatsoever.. or so everyone else sees it.
If it really is your personality that you hate you can change these things. It might not seem possible but you can change who you are. I did.
I prefer to keep to myself too. I think the best thing to do is just have a few close friends that you can talk to, and tell everything too, rather than alot of people who just want to talk to you because your funny.
Feel free to contact me if you want to talk :)

[Mike321]

I cant sort of relate to this too, I have always kept myself to myself and I find it really hard to talk to people.
I dont really have many friends, even though I hardly see them anymore, and I can only be myself around like 2 or 3 people.
But I think just having a few close friends is better than having a big group of them tbh, and I find it hard in certain social situations.
If your meeting new people, they dont know what your like so you've just got the like throw yourself in there, thats what I try and do, and it does work.
You can change certain things about yourself, if you want to
Hope this helps

[MrZero]

This is just like me, good job expressing it i never could find the words.
I'm dealing with this too..and it's a pain, when i do try to snap out of it and show a bit for feeling toward people i get this sort of "stage fright" that gets me back down a lot of the time.

Really i think a great place to start is right here on the interwebz,since people don't have too much to judge you by. There are a lot of very nice communities with very welcoming and nice people.For examples i'd say my clan which has so many awesome guys, my legion in an mmo(its a big timesink tho i don't really play so much these days..) and from what i can tell so far this site too, you guys are really nice ^^and i'm sure there are many others for whatever interests you have - oh yeah this works if you get to know them not just play alot;)

I'm having trouble still but i think it's easier and if you get to know some cool people it might make you feel better

[psuw1357]

Well I can relate to this to an extent. Most people like me I have lots of friends. I just became rly good friends with this freshmen and his brother is a senior. I was having a party and it was a "sleep over party". Boys and girls. The only reason his mom let him stay was because his senior brother said " he's a good friends for Corey everyone is scared of him, no one gives him problems". Corey told me that at the party. I got thinking and asked people and found out there are a good amount of people scared of me. I felt rly bad. I am just not afraid to stick up for me, my friends or my beliefs. Then I asked why people were scared of me and they said it was because I will get in anyone's face. This "kid" hit his girlfriend, I had no clue who either of them were but I pushed the guy up aginst the wall. I punched him in the face and told him to never hit a girl again. Then I found out this was the "big" boy of the school who everyone was scared of. Now he is sitting in jail, should be a senior. I just want to be my self not scared of anything but at the same time I don't want people to be scared of me. I'm trying to be nice to everyone now even the "losers". The only problem is my "cool" friends make jokes and stuff when I'm nice to them. So I'm split on what to do. Deep down I would rather be nice to everyone, then be considered cool and have lots of "non cool" people not like me.

[Aspiringanonymous]

I think chronic isolation is much more prevalent than most think - because, naturally, those affected do not tend to speak out.

I'm used to being alone, and having little or no friends - for the most part, I just learned to accept it as another inconvenient reality I would face for the rest of my life, and adapt accordingly. I see myself as just another face in the crowd, and have come to take a lot of comfort in that - in social situations, I only wish that my presence can contribute in some way, whether practically or emotionally to the well-being of others - since I am insignificant, therefore I do not hold expectations of others towards me.

I am beginning to think that inability to sustain personal relationships doesn't necessarily entail social incompetency in general. For example, I think I would be very engaged and active with others in an academic setting, where the focus of interaction is not on any individual, but something else entirely.

It all comes with practice and increased exposure to different social situations - and high school is a horrible place for that. Dynamics are vastly different beyond these walls - so - there is hope.

Take care for now.

[fragom15]

dude im totally related to u, in fact i used to have exactly the same kind of problems... but i realized that expressing ourselves just as we are is the better way to make disappear this problems. im telling u cause i faced the same things... so people get to know you the way you are and im shure they will accept u and youll be able to make new friends... its short but that all i got to say...

[Sogeking]

This I can relate to. I have few friends and casual aquaintances. And I'm used to being alone for the most part. But its like someone alredy said, it is something I have got to get used to. Though I will try to be more social in thd future.