Fuck off ><

[Fiction]

SO i'm trying to get better. i'm blocking out all thoughts of not eating, trying to not weigh myself but i weighed myself today and fuck. I weigh 102lb. I'm 5"3 btw. I want to go back to weighing 96lb. I want to weigh less I can't do this :/
Why won't these thoughts fuck off.

[BreatheHopeIntoMe]

I heard that counting to one hundred very slowly helps to get the mind on another subject. You could try that.

[Clawhammer]

Lass, I'm a lot taller and a lot heavier, and I'm still pretty skinny. Starving does not help you lose weight, as a matter of fact, it makes your body store more away making more weight. Starving is not the way to lose weight. Trust me, you're just fine now, you don't need to be needle thin, you're beautiful the way you are.

[Fiction]

Thanks Kyla i'll try it.

And thanks Waya but it really doesn't feel good enough. I hate the fact i've put on weight.

[BreatheHopeIntoMe]

Maybe it's muscle mass. You never know. And isn't gaining weight supposed to be a good thing? It's a sign of recovery afterall.

[BeautifulDisaster]

^^ It's not always a sign of recovery, people forget this is a MENTAL HEALTH illness, not a weight illness. That's a symptom. It's like going into treatment, or being forced into treatment, and gaining weight & then being released. You may then become more medically stable(as being at a dangerously low weight puts you more at risk of medical problems, however you could be at a normal weight & still be at risk of medical problems, some people have even died at a normal weight from an ED), but mentally... you could be just as ill, maybe worse, triggering the illness further & losing more weight again & spiraling further downward

You need to focus on why you are engaging in these behaviors & why you have these thoughts. Do you see a professional for this? If not, I'd suggest to see one, asap.

[Fiction]

I know it's a good thing but it doesn't feel like one.
No i'm not seeing a professional for this because I wouldn't know how to tell my parents about it. :/
I weighed 98lb when i weighed myself today.

[exploradora]

please please please don't weigh yourself, I know it's hard, but I have a friend that didn't get better for 3 years instead of a year because she started weighing yourself again. I'm roughly your height and weight, and even if the BMI calculators say you're barely underweight/low side of normal, it's not, since it's weight that's lost unhealthily. I don't know if that helps, but stay strong, you can do it (: