Anger, depression and death

[green]

So lately I've been having a hard time. At school and at home. At school there are the assholes, kids who I have to hang out with because they hang out with the people I hang out with. They call me names, insult girlfriends, and throw food at me. At home I have a bitch of a sister who calls me fat, says I have no friends and hits me. My mum has no control over her! Whenever I get angry or sad I think of beating the living shit out of them. A kid ticks me of at school I just have my mind fill with images of me beating him. I'm always thinking about death and it is always in the back of my head nagging me. I have mood swings. I'll be happy then deporessed and then happy again. I'm never really happy. I don't want to tell my mum cause she will be all " We all have bad days now go do the fucking dishes" what should I do

[Fiending_the_freedom]

Obviously I don't know what your mother is like, but at least give her the benefit of the doubt before saying she wont listen to you. Find a time where she isn't busy and sit her down and let her know you are having a hard time with these things and need her support.Whats the worst thing that could happen if you talk to her? Everything stays as it is? You should at least give it a try.

[Donkey]

I agree with Tegan. You should at least try talking to her, and tell her how you feel. Life can be shit sometimes, but it can get better - trust me, you just need to push yourself. Your mum isn't a monster, she's not inhuman - if you talk to her I bet she'll have feelings and she'll understand your problems if you really tell her what's troubling you. It will also very likely strengthen your relationship with her. She will have times when she'll have thought that she doesn't measure up, and she'll have had times when she's been depressed like you have been. Lots of people here at VT talk about how beneficial it has been for them to confide with their parents and get help that way. Pour your heart out.

If you talk to people, and let your feelings out like this things can become a lot easier and better for you. If you have people that you can confide in and talk to about whatever you like, things can be a lot more comfortable. It's in your control to find those people and start talking to them. There are hundreds of people here on VT that would want to help you with that.

If people that you "have" to hang out with are being cocks, go find another group of friends with people who aren't arseholes. Ignore your sister, I expect she just has a huge lack of self confidence and so takes it all out on you. Sympathetically, she needs as much help as you do I expect but just ignore her. Rise above it. Don't let it get to you. And definitely don't retaliate, you're better than that.

Depression usually leads to thinking about death. You know, you can see your GP and he might be able to get you some anti-depressants which can really help if you are suffering from depression. Mood swings can either be part of puberty however when very extreme can be bipolar disorder. However I think that if you had bipolar you would probably talk about it more, as it is very very extreme emotion. You do talk quite a bit about common symptoms of depression. If you are depressed (in the mentally ill sense), you should get help as soon as possible in case the condition deteriorates and you think about irrational things such as doing damage to yourself.

There is so much more to life than death and being sad, it just takes a little time and push from you to find it. You will be happy, you will rid of these feelings and whether you realise it or not it's in your control. Good luck and do the right thing ;)