My Sister..

[Heisen8erg]

Well, today i think i found out my sister is doing drugs again... I am 13 years old and my sister is 22. Last year, she was on the phone with her boyfriend and i heard her say "Nothing, were just gonna go smoke some marijuana.." so i said "What?!" and then she talked to me about it after and promised me she would never do it again. Now, yesterday, she went out to a friends house and came back with her eyes red and puffy, her breath smelled like marijuana, her clothes smelled like MAJOR perfume and she was abit dazed, this makes me think she is back on drugs, or never stopped in the first place. I am really heart broken because me and my sister have been really close, and every time i look at her i cant help but think that she is a drug addict... She doesnt know that i know this, and i wanna talk to her about it, but i dont know what to do. Right now, im still in tears, and i dont know what to do. None of my friends have recently been close enough or loyal enough to discuss with them, so i turned to VT. Should i just let it be and never look at her the same way again? Or should i talk to her about it? If i do i dont know what im going to say, and even if all goes well i dont know if i can trust her again, not after she broke her promise the first time. Can someone please help me, im going crazy here.. Do i say anything? What do i say? How do i bring it up? Can i trust her again?

P.S. If this belongs in the Depression category can a mod please MOVE and NOT LOCK, thanks.

[Sith Lord 13]

Honestly, I'd just stay out of it. You're giving her grief over it will just push her to use it more.

[Zazu]

Seriously though, going round a friend's house and smoking a bit of weed isn't going to do her any harm. She could do worse like smoking tobacco / drinking alcohol. It's her body; her life. Smoking weed isn't going to kill her, doesn't make her a bad person and is nothing you should get so worked up about.

Intentionally insulting comment removed
ShatteredWings

[Donkey]

Hi Ada. Cannabis is not really a "junkie" type drug, in fact occasional use won't really do you any harm and can be medically beneficial - unless you're a heavy cannabis user you won't get addicted either. All the government propaganda about cannabis tends to relate very vaguely to extremely heavy usage. I doubt your sister is a drug addict, but on goes the show...

Honestly, and I don't mean to be patronizing, but look at the situation - you're 13, she's 22. Is she really a wreck? Can she choose what to do with her own life? It's really commendable that you want to help her and that you care about her but sometimes you just have to let people make their own decisions instead of trying to make them live life as you believe it should be.

However, that said, if your sister is really a mess and is smoking cannabis very regularly it is a cause for concern. You should talk to her about it and talk about how it can lower her concentration levels and stop her life really going anywhere, if this is the case. However recreational use will really do little to damage her.

Away from the actual drug issue - time to look at the relationship issue a little more perhaps? This seems to be what is troubling you. She broke a promise to you and so you feel let down and upset. I think you should talk to her, and forgive her. I hate to say this mate, but we all hate drugs and think cannabis is the devil until our friends do it at a certain age when we start experimenting with things. I'm not glorifying the drug, I'm just saying that it's not abnormal to do it and it's likely that you will try it too.

Being stoned is something people enjoy, so I can understand why your sister wanted to do it again even though she said she wouldn't. We all make mistakes, and we can't be perfect. I think she might have just told you that for your sake, rather than hers. So that it comforts you and settles the situation down a little, not because she really meant it. So looking at it like this, she lied for you even though it's not quite that simple.

Essentially, what I'm saying is the cannabis use is probably not the end of the world, and you should talk to her about it. Then forgive her and let your relationship continue, don't dwell on the past. That's the only way I think you can both really move on. Good luck with it all.

[staying_alive]

I know how you feel bud. I had a very close relationship with a friend (yeah, it's not a sister, but she's very similar to one). Freshmen year, she started hanging out with older guys and drinking/smoking. I flipped out, and several times she promised to stop. Of course now I know that she lied every single time, but I had her word then and I felt secure about it. The point is, I was freaking out because I had such a limited view on what was going on. Now that I'm a few years older (junior), I have a more open mind and understand that occasional use of marijuana does very little harm. Now i'm not forcing you to accept my view, that would be very unfair. However, I do want you to know that waiting it out does solve a lot. Even though you may think your opinions now are huge and unchanging, there's a good chance for change.

Also, are you sure that's what you heard over the phone? I can't imagine anyone who has smoked pot at least once before ever saying "let's go smoke marijuana". I'm more used to "let's go smoke some weed/pot/something" or just "let's go smoke." But who knows, anything's possible.

Good luck, I hope it works out between you two. I'm sure you'll end up just as close no matter what happens.

[Euphoria]

weed is less dangerous than coffee, theirs has been research proving so. i have been smoking weed on and off for 3 years now, it helps me sleep, helps me relax after a long day of studying, and increases my appetite. Marijuana will NEVER lead to hard drugs, out of my whole high school, 75% have admitted to smoking marijuana, 25% tobacco, 50% alcohol, 15% ecstasy, and 2% heroine/crack/cocaine/meth/speed. My school has 2,500 people, proving that it is nothing to worry over. If this helps you put it into a better perspective, in Amsterdam marijuana is legal, and sold in coffee shops, proving that it is nothing dangerous. Also their has been no deaths from the use of Marijuana. Also it does not kill your brain cells (make you dumb). When you get into high school you will see that you will be surrounded by people smoke marijuana, and their is a high chance you will dabble with it. Marijuana has NO addictive chemicals. I hope this information will help you understand what is going on, do not worry she will be fine, just simply tell her i know you smoke marijuana, i don't not personally agree with your decisions, but i will not lecture you out of it, it is your descion and i will always love you unconditionally. If you don't want to do any of this, wait until you are at least a sophomore in high school, theirs no point in fighting something you have no insight on. The worst possible thing you could do would tell on your parents, that would jeopardize you relationship with your sister, and your parents will give her way more trouble than she deserves. Respect her privacy, and either accept it or wait until you know more about it before jumping to conclusions. Good luck

[Zazu]

weed is less dangerous than coffee, theirs has been research proving so. i have been smoking weed on and off for 3 years now, it helps me sleep, helps me relax after a long day of studying, and increases my appetite. Marijuana will NEVER lead to hard drugs, out of my whole high school, 75% have admitted to smoking marijuana, 25% tobacco, 50% alcohol, 15% ecstasy, and 2% heroine/crack/cocaine/meth/speed. My school has 2,500 people, proving that it is nothing to worry over. If this helps you put it into a better perspective, in Amsterdam marijuana is legal, and sold in coffee shops, proving that it is nothing dangerous. Also their has been no deaths from the use of Marijuana. Also it does not kill your brain cells (make you dumb). When you get into high school you will see that you will be surrounded by people smoke marijuana, and their is a high chance you will dabble with it. Marijuana has NO addictive chemicals. I hope this information will help you understand what is going on, do not worry she will be fine, just simply tell her i know you smoke marijuana, i don't not personally agree with your decisions, but i will not lecture you out of it, it is your descion and i will always love you unconditionally. If you don't want to do any of this, wait until you are at least a sophomore in high school, theirs no point in fighting something you have no insight on. The worst possible thing you could do would tell on your parents, that would jeopardize you relationship with your sister, and your parents will give her way more trouble than she deserves. Respect her privacy, and either accept it or wait until you know more about it before jumping to conclusions. Good luck

Agree with the majority of this.

[Scooby Dooby Drew]

weed is less dangerous than coffee, theirs has been research proving so. i have been smoking weed on and off for 3 years now, it helps me sleep, helps me relax after a long day of studying, and increases my appetite. Marijuana will NEVER lead to hard drugs, out of my whole high school, 75% have admitted to smoking marijuana, 25% tobacco, 50% alcohol, 15% ecstasy, and 2% heroine/crack/cocaine/meth/speed. My school has 2,500 people, proving that it is nothing to worry over. If this helps you put it into a better perspective, in Amsterdam marijuana is legal, and sold in coffee shops, proving that it is nothing dangerous. Also their has been no deaths from the use of Marijuana. Also it does not kill your brain cells (make you dumb). When you get into high school you will see that you will be surrounded by people smoke marijuana, and their is a high chance you will dabble with it. Marijuana has NO addictive chemicals. I hope this information will help you understand what is going on, do not worry she will be fine, just simply tell her i know you smoke marijuana, i don't not personally agree with your decisions, but i will not lecture you out of it, it is your descion and i will always love you unconditionally. If you don't want to do any of this, wait until you are at least a sophomore in high school, theirs no point in fighting something you have no insight on. The worst possible thing you could do would tell on your parents, that would jeopardize you relationship with your sister, and your parents will give her way more trouble than she deserves. Respect her privacy, and either accept it or wait until you know more about it before jumping to conclusions. Good luck
"Weed" (Capitalize please...)
"There's" or "There has" ("Theirs" shows possesion)
"I"
"there"
"marijuana" (You used unnecessary capitalization... ironic isn't it?)
"...just tell her, 'I know you smoke marijuana, I do not personally agree with your decision, but I will not lecture you out of it, it is your decision and I will always love you unconditionally.'" (There were multiple spelling and capitalization mistakes, a double negative, and you failed to indicate that it was from the OP's point of view.)
"....would be to tell your parents," or "...would be to tell on her," ("...tell on your parents," implies the parents are the ones smoking.)
"Good luck!" (You failed to punctuate.)
[/grammar nazi]

You fail to cite any sources on your claim that marijuana is less dangerous than coffee, instead you simply allude to nebulous research. Your data on the percentages of people from your school does not relate to your statement that, "Marijuana will NEVER lead to hard drugs," because you fail to specify whether the 2% that has done hard drugs has done marijuana as well or not. The data, while interesting, is useless unless it is backing up a point that is relevant to the data. The number of people at your school, the number of people doing marijuana at your school, and the number of people doing hard drugs at your school prove nothing about its effect on your health. Just because marijuana is available for purchase in coffee shops doesn't make it okay, for example you could also go out and buy Four Loko (a caffeinated alcoholic beverage) and aspirin, that doesn't mean it's safe to take them at the same time. Again you fail to cite any sources on your claim that it hasn't killed anyone or that it doesn't kill brain cells. Overall your argument is second-rate at best, you are discursive, switching from topic to the next without proving anything, and your grammar is terrible. You need major revisions to this argument. v.v

[Fiending_the_freedom]

"Weed" (Capitalize please...)
"There's" or "There has" ("Theirs" shows possesion)
"I"
"there"
"marijuana" (You used unnecessary capitalization... ironic isn't it?)
"...just tell her, 'I know you smoke marijuana, I do not personally agree with your decision, but I will not lecture you out of it, it is your decision and I will always love you unconditionally.'" (There were multiple spelling and capitalization mistakes, a double negative, and you failed to indicate that it was from the OP's point of view.)
"....would be to tell your parents," or "...would be to tell on her," ("...tell on your parents," implies the parents are the ones smoking.)
"Good luck!" (You failed to punctuate.)
[/grammar nazi]

Really?
All of us can look at this and get frustrated with the grammar and spelling mistakes, but when it comes down to it, this is the internet; and the internet= the largest collection of spelling mistakes. A lot of the members here are young and are still perfecting their writing skills. And yes, I do realize what your display name is.

You fail to cite any sources on your claim that marijuana is less dangerous than coffee, instead you simply allude to nebulous research.
Unfortunately, almost no one cites on here. Although when it comes to this statement it is pretty much common knowledge. Now unfortunately due to there actually being TOO much info on the web, I cannot choose which source is best to use, but I'll leave you with the title of a very interesting documentary called "The Union: The Business Behind Getting High" which scratches the surface on the most common marijuana arguments. There it states the addiction rates, obviously tobacco being #1, then further down the list comes caffeine then marijuana at the bottom. There are statics showing a lot of people are in rehab for marijuana addiction; this is because the judge (at least in the U.S.A, its no big deal here in canada) give people caught with pot two options: go to jail or go to rehab. There they are considered an addict. This is all in the documentary which is now available in blockbuster. It is a known fact, the government has researched this, that marijuana has nothing in it that can make you become addicted.

Your data on the percentages of people from your school does not relate to your statement that, "Marijuana will NEVER lead to hard drugs," because you fail to specify whether the 2% that has done hard drugs has done marijuana as well or not. The data, while interesting, is useless unless it is backing up a point that is relevant to the data. The number of people at your school, the number of people doing marijuana at your school, and the number of people doing hard drugs at your school prove nothing about its effect on your health.
This is true, it was not a very good argument. If people are referring to marijuana as a gateway drug because it gives you the opportunity to buy harder drugs, then yes technically it is, but for that reason it is BECAUSE it is illegal, and the dealers ask if you want to try something harder. Why let dealers decide what age is appropriate? Teenagers say it is harder to get alcohol than illegal drugs, so lets legalize and regulate, but the money back into the health system and make it harder for kids to get at it!

Again you fail to cite any sources on your claim that it hasn't killed anyone
This is also a known fact. You will not be able to fine one case of someone dying from marijuana use alone. There is no cases anywhere. (if there were, the government would be parading that evidence around)

or that it doesn't kill brain cells.
Also a recent study has found this. In fact it is theorized that after the age of 21 it can actually stimulate brain cell growth, I can cite you the source after some digging around.

Overall your argument is second-rate at best, you are discursive, switching from topic to the next without proving anything, and your grammar is terrible. You need major revisions to this argument. v.v
This is virtual teen, not debaters R us.

[Scooby Dooby Drew]

Mm'kay then ^__^

I should mention though, I really don't care on the subject of marijuana use, but it really bothers me when someone has such a flawed argument. :p

[closed]

It's not your war to fight, buy if you do care about your sister, talk to her. Don't do anything like talking to the parents. Talk to her, tell her what you think, and keep reminding her that you love her, and that you care about her. Just see how it goes from there.

[Sordid Saint]

Mm'kay then ^__^

I should mention though, I really don't care on the subject of marijuana use, but it really bothers me when someone has such a flawed argument. :p


Ugh... Here.

http://www.electricemperor.com/eecdr...5/ECH15_03.HTM - Dr. Heath / Tulane study (Brain Damage/loss of cells.)

http://medicalmarijuana.procon.org/view.answers.php?questionID=000247 - Opinions on Gateway or "stepping stone" effect.

http://drugwarfacts.org/cms/?q=node/30 - Table of known direct deaths from substances.

Sorry if my grammar isn't correct.