My friend

[RAWWR]

Okay, so ealier today, i was at college and me and my friends were in a computer room doing independant study, when something about self harm came up, i wasn't botherd, because they all know about my cutting and are really supportive, but they were asking me what it feels like, and i was desribing it, and one of them said that they knew how it feels, so i was like 'what do you mean?' and after a lot of persuading, she finally admitted that she self harms.
Now i have a few friends that have self harmed, but this really threw me, i mean, normally, i am older or the same age as my self harmer friends, and have been self harming longer, so therefore just take on the role of 'mummy' supporting them and helping them with distractions and things. But-she is 2 years older than me, and she has been self harming for 2 years longer than me.
How do i support her when she is my superior? I'm so confused! Has anyone got any tips on how i can deal with this?? :confused:

[Fiction]

Well, when someone is upset no matter how long they've been self harming or how old they are they will usually look for someone to take control, and for someone to support them. This is the "mummy" figure you are talking about. So maybe just talk to her about it in a normal way, like discussing it, finding what you feel that's similar. How to treat her and react should come naturally, and her being older doesn't mean she doesn't want your help and support.

[georgiamay]

treat her the same as you would treat anyone else you know that self harms, age has nothing to do with it. Just because she's been doing it longer it doesn't mean that she needs to be treated that much differently to any other self harmer. How do you treat other people that self harm? Whatever your answer is, treat her that way.

Self harm has no age, and people that are "older", still self harm for the same reasons as "younger" people.

[RAWWR]

Yeah, i suppose, it's just weird cause i can normally sense a self harmer a mile off, but i had no idea :/ i don't get it......
I suppose i'm just gonna have to try and be there for her. She's the mummy of the group. She's the eldest, now it looks like i've gotta support her, i don't like it, i'm the baby :( i don't think i can handle another cutter, i can't control my own self harm, let alone someone else's.... :'(

[XxMurderedKissesxX]

Just because shes been harming longer doesnt mean you treat her any differently. The same tips and distractions that work for someone whos been cutting for two years will still work for someone whos been cutting for say, five. Although I understand your akwardness towards the situation. Most people I know that selfharm havent done it as long as I have and are normally younger. Maybe this is a good thing? She might beable to give you ideas and advice that others could not.

[Mike321]

As the others have said really, it doesnt matter what age is she, treat her the same as you would with any otherfriend who self harms.
And just support her the best you can, its important to get yourself and your own problems under control first.
Just be supportive and give her advice and let her know your there for her
Hope this helps

[RAWWR]

I don't think i'm seeing her again until next week, but when i do see her i'm gonna try and get her to make a doctors appointment :/
Thanks for the help guys