How do I talk to him?

[lost1]

There's this guy (a few actually) and I'm not sure how to approach them with a question about their sexuality. Some are my friends and one I've never spoken to before but I have a huuuuge crush on him.

How can I ask if they're gay without revealing my sexuality?

[DrkZ90]

spend more time with them. Try to speak openly to them about different kinds of stuff and see their reaction. Regardless of what someone says, you can always see in their face what they really think...

Hope I can help

[lost1]

Well how do I know that what I'm thinking is right?

[Donkey]

Hi lost1, approaching a friend about their sexuality is always difficult. But think of it like this - you're trying to find out their sexuality but you're not revealing yours? I think becoming closer to your friend and then telling them that you're bisexual might speed things up if you were to do this. I guess in that conversation, you could pop in "are you straight?" as it may seem more normal in the circumstances of an intimate discussion about sexuality.

[Tristin.]

Hi lost1, approaching a friend about their sexuality is always difficult. But think of it like this - you're trying to find out their sexuality but you're not revealing yours? I think becoming closer to your friend and then telling them that you're bisexual might speed things up if you were to do this. I guess in that conversation, you could pop in "are you straight?" as it may seem more normal in the circumstances of an intimate discussion about sexuality.

This is one of the best ways i know of, its hard to ask without reavealing your sexuality, so id follow jons advice :)

[SlightlySane]

In all honesty I find it extremely rude to want to find out someone's sexuality without being willing to reveal your own. You're expecting them to tell you something that may or may not be a big secret, but you aren't willing to do the same in exchange. If you haven't talked to them at all or even if you have a little I don't really think it's your business.
If you MUST ask them then you should be extremely polite and understand that they may not being willing to tell you. It's my opinion that if they wanted you to know, you would. You have to think about this from more than just your perspective. If you don't want to reveal your sexuality, think about how they would feel should they be gay/bi. Don't you think it's only fair that if you're asking them to reveal something so confidential you should be willing to give them the same amount of trust you're expecting? I think that you really should just not worry about it unless you become really good friends with them. I mean REALLY good friends. At that point you don't even go up to them and just ask "hey are you gay?" It should be something casual and respectful of them like, "So are you straight, bi, or gay?" Something that gives them more options than just yes or no.
I highly advice that you just leave it as it is. You may be dying to know, but it has to do with much more than your own curiosity.

[smitty35]

hang around with them and I think there is a good chance that you can figure it out without asking. it would be alot more akward if you just ask them right away.

[smalltowngirl9189]

ask yourself some questions...
1) Have they ever given any clues?
- Dated girls?
- Ever made comments toward other people being gay/bi
2) Ever shown any affection (more than friends) toward the same sex?
- A little more huggy?
- Touchy Feely?
- Staring at same sex?
(For your friends) 3) Will they tell other friends, that you asked?
- Will they stay your friends?
(For the guy you don't really know) 3) Is he close with other guys, or is he going to tell more people in the school?



Hope this helps :)