Help? Kind Of An Odd Problem.

[htmlrulezd00d]

I used to cut like... a decent amount, but I had someone this summer who helped me get through it for a while. He's no longer a part of my life, and recently, I've had an urge to start up again.
When I thought it over and tried to realize why I wanted to cut so bad, I realized that it's not so much because it hurts, but because of the scars. I like seeing the scars that result from it.
Does anyone else feel this way? I feel like I'm the only one since the scars are usually the worst part of this habit.

[Alexithymia]

I'm not really like that. I don't like the cuts or the scars. Though some days, when I am more depressed than usual, I enjoy them. It mostly depends on the day.

[Syvelocin]

It's definitely normal, Hannah. I've heard of a lot of self-harmers who in some way like or are proud of their scars. Honestly, I have this sick obession with my scars. I always cut and treat the wounds with every intent of increasing scarring. I catch myself just looking at them, admiring them, very often. I experience the same thing all the time, and I know many others who are the same.

[Fiction]

I get this sometimes too. While i'm doing it i love the fact that i'm making marks on myself and if i'm depressed at another time sometimes i can get a slight kick out of looking at my old scars. other times i hate them.

[Mike321]

I feel like this sometimes too, I'll sometimes just sit and stare at them, i dont know why.
So your not alone in feeling like this

[RAWWR]

yeah i feel like this too. i have a weird obsession with how many cuts i can make at once aswell :( silly self harm.

[starbrite5]

Yeah, I sort of almost creep myself out with my obsession with the scars. Lately I've been rather freaked out because some of them are fading, but I try to remind myself that that's good, that I'll be able to swim next summer.

[htmlrulezd00d]

Ahhh thanks for this, guys. I feel better knowing I'm not totally alone in this.

[Nevermore]

I have a love/hate relationship with my scars. There are days I'm so disgusted with myself I feel sck of what I did to myself. Then there are days where I'm like wow these look kind of cool, or look what I've gone through. However I don't show off my scars. However they can be triggerous. When they fade it's a good thing because hey I can wear short sleeves. Then there are times where I feel like i deserve the scars to look ugly, because I"m a horrible person so I need to cause myself more pain if they fade. However it could turn into a contest. Let's see how thick I can make this one, how deep I can go, if this scar from it will stay seperated, if this will be raised or indented. I feel like i'm not tough enough if the scars are shallow. Like, wow Sammy, I can't beleive you fail at everything, you can't even cut yourself right because you're a wimp. This is why people take advantage of you, because your weak.

[htmlrulezd00d]

I have a love/hate relationship with my scars. There are days I'm so disgusted with myself I feel sck of what I did to myself. Then there are days where I'm like wow these look kind of cool, or look what I've gone through. However I don't show off my scars. However they can be triggerous. When they fade it's a good thing because hey I can wear short sleeves. Then there are times where I feel like i deserve the scars to look ugly, because I"m a horrible person so I need to cause myself more pain if they fade. However it could turn into a contest. Let's see how thick I can make this one, how deep I can go, if this scar from it will stay seperated, if this will be raised or indented. I feel like i'm not tough enough if the scars are shallow. Like, wow Sammy, I can't beleive you fail at everything, you can't even cut yourself right because you're a wimp. This is why people take advantage of you, because your weak.

I'm really sorry that you go through all that. I hope you can find some kind of peace within everything. I guess it's just really hard. But thanks for like... giving me some kind of assurance that I'm not totally alone.

[Rick's_Rodeo_Girl]

my scars are on my legs because I can't wear long sleeves. So whenever i shower or wear shorts i stare down at my legs and trace them.