I supposedly tried to hit my mom...

[Ambrosia]

I’m sorry I keep posting. But good lord, like I said, SOMEONE needs to know.

Last night was really hard. I got off work and around midnight I ended up going to tell my mom goodnight. I was really wanting to talk to her about something but she seems to enjoy never listening. She always tells me to come back later or that she doesn’t care and only listens when it’s something SHE brings up. She kept yelling at me to leave so…I set my hand on the back of her chair. More like slammed, I guess. And when she got up to hit me she claims I bowed up to her. Don’t you think you would do that too if someone is trying to hit you!? I went to my room pretty quick and started…cutting…myself. I didn’t even get around to bandaging myself when they made me go into the living room. For an hour I sat in there being yelled at trying to keep the very obvious blood stain from being noticed that was forming on my pants. They said I wasn’t controlling my anger. I told them that the hand thing WAS me controlling my anger. I would never hit my mother. I control my anger by cutting a lot of times but at that moment I didn’t have a chance. It just happened. I eventually went back to my room and I have never cut that many times in one place. Over fifty cuts in a spot the size of the palm of my hand. I don’t even regret it. And I don’t feel bad for pissing my mother off. She needs to learn to listen and things like that wouldn’t happen maybe…

[Alexithymia]

Aww :( I'm sorry about that. Sometimes they just don't get it. Did your parents see the cuts? And don't feel bad about posting here. That's what VT is for. I know I still feel worried whenever I post, but the only times when I get "in trouble" is when I break the rules.

I know it can be tough sometimes, but you have to try and explain to them what's going on. You don't have to mention the cutting. Just try and tell them, as calmly as you can, that you weren't trying to hit your mother, you were trying to control your anger. If they don't understand that then elaborate. It'll be tough a lot, just try and explain to them what sets you off and how to avoid situations like that.

[Azunite]

All teens have a moment, when they want to hit their parents.
Well Lexi, I congratulate your courage. You were AT LEAST able to hit her chair!

Well, nobody deserves a hit but if she is a bitch, as you told then she kinda deserved that move "in teen rules".

I have never cut myself. If you DO think cutting helps, then slash yourself but still... I think cutting only helps you in short term, but makes you more violent in the long term.

And don't ever feel sorry in VT, especially about posting rapidly, look how many posts I have in such a short term.

My other advice: Don't ever attempt to hit your mother. Remember she has the overall control, she can do anything to you.
And mind if I ask about your dad?

[Ambrosia]

My parents never know and will never know about my cutting. A relative of mine once tried to kill himself by cutting and I’ve been hearing about how cutters are all attention seekers since then. It’s bull but a good reason to never tell.

What about him? He is who I get my anger from, I guess. He used to be the same way only worse. Unable to control his temper and what not. He was the one who gave me the talk. My mom just sat there and glared at me like she had just taken a bite of a huge lemon. He kept asking why I hate her so much. I don’t hate her! They both think they know every thought I make and think they can predict why I do everything I do. Not every little thing can be explained from past experience. He always compares me to him as a teenager but I can guarantee he never struggled with SI.