poem about problems

[hotandgay]

i sit here and i wonder why
this life has changed and flying by
time is now just a blur
days and minutes all a slur
faster, faster the world spins
till one day it all blends
STOP! WAIT! SLOW IT DOWN!
its to much im gonna drown
BLURBLE BLURBLE CHOKE AND SPIT
just let it happen while i sit
relax and dream let it be
it is soon i will see
take the problems one by one
make sure to have some fun
make some friends
forget the past
dont forget
to o always laugh

[Viral Death]

Very Good, I think you could be a poet such as myself.

A nice layout to use is stanzas, like

Stanza Set1
1
1
1

Stanza Set2
2
2
2

Stanza Set3
3
3
3

Stanza Set4
4
4
4

Theres ya some advice! Also they never have to rhyme!

[Aves]

Other Works :arrow: The Open Book

[deadpie]

Well. The rhymes were very boring and obvious. The capitalization (BLURBLE BLURBLE CHOKE AND SPIT
)didn't really seem necessary and kind of made the poem seem a little bit outrageous. Not many descriptions. You can use better word choices for emotions. What helps is reading lots of books to gain knowledge of larger words. This doesn't mean go to dictionary.com and find long words nobody knows. It's just, everything in this poem is plain and simple.

Spelling errors are another thing to check for. Capitalizing the first letter of each line helps, unless that's a part of the poetic message it's sending.

The poem is more of something I could hear being recited by my seven year old sister for school like her poems about leaves and smiling. What I mean is that it bores me.

I recommend that you practice writing in notebooks. Write every day and edit the poems to try and make words fit better. Like Doc_Rave said, stanzas help.

[hotandgay]

thanks for the tips. and this was just a quick little poem i did it took just a few mins. i do have an extensive vocabulary and im good at describing things. it all depends on if i have the time. and i know what stanzas are and many different types of poems. i know how to use syntax and many other things. if you want a better poem just tell me and i will thread a few in one post.

[salema]

nice one keep it up