I was doing so well and now i've gone and fucked it all up.

[Njathind]

I was doing so well, I hadn't cut for a good 2 or 3 months, and now tonight I ruined it. I came home from college and just started looking back on my life in my head for no apparent reason, thinking of all the things I screwed up and how I was and kinda still am just a nobody, a tiny, insignificant spec, then I saw my tin of razors. I tried so hard to resist, I went downstairs and made a drink, got a snack, watched TV but I couldn't hack it. So now thanks to a moment of weakness I'm sat here with several gashes on my shoulder, well done you fucking twat! :(

[Fiction]

Slip ups are bound to happen. It's not slip ups that indicate weakness, it's slipping up and not being able to pick yourself up that does. You went for 2 or 3 months and that is amazing and next time you can go for longer. You just need to keep going. Feel free to contact me if you ever want to talk :)

[ShaneK]

Your only human, we all slip up from time to time. Don't lose sight of the fact you stopped cutting for 2 or 3 months. Your in college that in its self is good alot of people dont get that far. We all have past screw ups life, so theres no reason why you suddenly focused on them

[Mike321]

2 or 3 months is really, really good, you should be proud of yourself for that.
We have all slipped up some where along the line, and we've all made mistakes in our lives that we regret.
Dont beat yourself up about them, just pick yourself back up and see if you can make it 3 or 4 months and more.
You can do it
Feel free to talk to me if you need a chat

[Njathind]

Cheers for your support guys, and I guess 2-3 months is kinda good going, I just cant help but keep looking back on my past, even to silly things that happened when I was really young, say between 5 and 10. And then I just need to relieve myself. It's not good.

[Fiction]

Stuff from the past will always effect you unfortunatley, but you just have to try to realise that the past is the past. It's over now and there is nothing you can do about it.

[Njathind]

Stuff from the past will always effect you unfortunatley, but you just have to try to realise that the past is the past. It's over now and there is nothing you can do about it.

Thats exactly what I try to do, but for some reason thoughts just randomly pop into my head allong the lines of "well you fucked that up, well done kid". I guess I just gotta try and push them out of my head.

[Fiction]

yeah you do, it is hard but someone can be a totally different person to what they where in the past.
Feel free to contact me if you want to talk.

[Njathind]

yeah you do, it is hard but someone can be a totally different person to what they where in the past.
Feel free to contact me if you want to talk.

Thanks :)

[RAWWR]

hey, sorry, but just kinda wanted to comment and say something which learned from DBT. don't push the thoughts away, notice them, but then leave them, just notice their presence and think about something else. it's really hard to do, but if you push it away, it keeps coming back, once you've accepted a bad thought, it can't hurt you because you have accepted it-it doesn't bother you anymore. good luck.x

[Njathind]

hey, sorry, but just kinda wanted to comment and say something which learned from DBT. don't push the thoughts away, notice them, but then leave them, just notice their presence and think about something else. it's really hard to do, but if you push it away, it keeps coming back, once you've accepted a bad thought, it can't hurt you because you have accepted it-it doesn't bother you anymore. good luck.x

I guess i'm in denial then.

[RAWWR]

Don't worry about that, we all are i think, but we have to be skillful, and turn the mind. hope you're ok.x

[Njathind]

I was untill I fucked up again, thankyou for your support, and I WILL learn to be skillfull

[RAWWR]

lol. you didnt fuck up, you slipped up, thats life. and you aree doing amazingly. you will get better i promise, i know i'm not a very good example at the moment, but there are loads of people on here that have done amazingly. take a look at the non-self harm calender, its really inspiring to see how well everyone else is doing, it might give you the motivation to get better, i know that DBT is used to treat people with BPD. but i do think that some of the skills are helpful to everyone! try googleing it. :D

[Njathind]

I dont think I can get better, I was doing good for a good 8 or 9 months and then I got shot down, my brother went and got himself charged with assult for fighting with his wife, I tried so hard to resist the cutting, I managed to fight it for almost a month and then I gave in. Made it another 2 or 3 months and then landed up where I am now. I gotta stay positive though, I dont think drinking is a good idea either, I'm gonna google DBT straight away.

Thankyou so much

[RAWWR]

you CAN get better, it just requires a lot of effort, we will all get there in the end, we just have to keep fighting.
i am very aware that we are having 2 conversations in 2 different threads XD

[Njathind]

ha hah, just noticed that. :D