sick of blame

[Dark_Hellfire]

Lately it feels like everyone keeps putting fault onto me. I have my sisters bf telling me i am just "shit on his shoe" and how much he hates me. My aunty has been continually bad mouthing me for not having a job. Telling all her friends, most who are my friends parents, how lazy I am and such. (I dont have a job cause I am a full time student and with my work load atm havnt had a chance). Those along with the other shit going on has got me sitting there whipping myself with a metal spiked belt and recently i started cutting into my thigh and i just don't know why anymore. i guess it kind of makes me feel like i can release the hate i guess. i dont know how to deal with it anymore and even some of my friends are getting suspecios of the marks on my back now.

Sorry if this is in the wrong section. Just needed to finally get it out there instead of sitting in me

[zelda64roxx]

ow thats sounds like it hurts!

[LiTTleBrok3nDolly]

Okay your only 16! You DONT need to get a job, maybe at 17 but you should enjoy the last moments of teen hood while you can.

As for your sisters bf, i would personally ask him why he feels that way and if he gives you crap back, just say to your sister that she shouldnt go out with someone who treats her family like crap, what is she gets married to him? Then hell is gonna break loose and your gonna want to kill yourself for dealing with him.

I know how hard it is not to cut, but instead take a cold shower or listen to screaming music or take a walk in the rain. Write about how everyone is blaming you, and what i do most of the time , write what you want YOUR life to be, re-write it so you enjoy it and maybe even dream about it so you wont feel so suffocated.

[XxMurderedKissesxX]

Being a full time student means you should be focusing on your studies not a job. Wtf! And who cares what your sisters bf thinks anyway? He sounds like a dick. But if it bothers you that much, why not try and talk to him?? I understand what you mean when you "Wanna release the hate" but you should stop while you still can. The urges will just get stronger and it will slowly become an addiction. VT Is great for probs but maybe talking to someone in person could help? Doesnt have to be a counselor, a friend maybe? It could help.