Why can i seriously not stop?

[Fiction]

I keep thinking i'm stopping. keep getting periods of time when i get no cravings but they never last long. About 2 weeks at most, and then i get really bad cravings and all i want to do is cut. I've been getting them all day and i don't know how much longer I can hold out. Seriously i've been self harming too long now i never thought i'd still be doing it now. i know it's meant to be addictive but i just don't get why.... why me?

[misguided ghost]

I know exactly how you feel. I get the cravings atleast once or twice a week. The reason why we keep getting them is because thats the only way we've learn to feel better. It's our only coping method. It's become a part of us. Thats why the urges keep coming back. I know you'll get past it. :)

[Punk_Kid]

It can be addicting on several different levels. I think these level are best describable as: Emotionally, Physically and Chemically addictive.

Emotionally addictive: Your mind is used to dealing with stress and bad feelings in this way. It's like a safe haven for you. You have to develop other, healthier "feel good" ways to let your mind relax and get rid of stress. I do poetry, writing sessions where I write to myself and unconsciously respond(works pretty good actually), journal entries, etc. I consider emotional coping methods a way to get your emotions out in a non-physical way.

Physically Addictive: Your body craves the feeling of release it gets. The skin breaking apart, the blood flowing, the sharp sense of brief pain. It all becomes nessecary and you feel the need to feel that. I go for walks, do some brief stretches or go out and cut down a tree and split it for firewood. It allows you to outwardly express how you feel and can offer a distraction.

Chemically Addictive: This is where most people are confused. You probably know that when you cut your body releases endorphins to help you feel less pain. If you cut then these "feel good" chemicals will become addictive. So every time you feel bad, sad, angry, etc. you rely on this to sort of sedate you, I believe. I try to do the same activities that I listed in Physical Addictions.

I hope this helps. I just thought that maybe explaining some of it would help you out. I am no way saying this is why you are addicted. All I'm saying is that this is my personal reflection on why I cut and tried to generalize it for you and anyone else that might be reading this. So I sincerely hope you can quit.

And on one last note, don't try to quit immeadiatley. Try to wean yourself from it. Maybe try one day a week where you don't cut. then increase the time in between cutting:D

We are all here for you so feel free to PM if you need to:D

[Fiction]

Thank you both of you :)

[georgiamay]

KATHY. You know I'm here for you whenever you need me, we have a deal. I don't care what time it is, you can always come to me if you need to talk to someone.

I know how you feel though. When I was in ireland, I had the most awful cravings, and the only thing that stopped me was the fact that I was sharing a room with my cousins, and because I didn't have my razor with me.

You've made it so far already, there's no need to throw it all away because of some stupid evil cutting urge monster (yes, it exists).

You're strong Kathy, I know you can stop if you really try. My bitch is stronger than she thinks ;)

[Mike321]

I know how you feel Kathy, I only manage 2 or 3 weeks before the carvings come back.
Cutting will only make you feel better for a short period of time, then you'll feel bad or guilty about it (I always do anyway).
Dont give into it, your a really strong person, I know you can do it
You'll be able to stop eventually, even if it takes another year, you will do it.
As you know, your free to PM me if you need to talk

[Philleeep]

well i seem to have taken too biting myself instead of cutting but i know a way of helpping cutting. try cutting meat so you still get the redness afterwards or try cutting something else like a table or a pencil case or sponge. i already know a way to stop biting but trying too find the right thing too bite

[Fiction]

Thanks georgia, we will beat the evil cutting monster together! :D
And thanks Mike and Phil :)

[Love.Hate]

Aw im sorry to hear this kathy,
Cravings are hard. But you can get through
this, you are stronger than you realise! :)

Always here, *hug* xx

[Fiction]

Thanks Fran :)