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November 19th, 2010, 01:29 PM
Please, any advice is greatly appreciated.
I met my boyfriend a little over three years ago(we'll call him Ilzorg), and the time I first laid eyes on him, we clicked instantly. I knew I wanted to be close to him. So, a year passed, we saw each other in and out of other relationships, and over the course of a week, I realized that no one I ever dated would measure up to the way I felt about him. He had no flaws to me, though others often disagreed. I felt this way for the next few years, though he and I never actually dated. We remained close friends on-and-off.
In that period, I had two other boyfriends(at seperate times, mind you) both of whom I denied being in a relationship with, out of fear.
I've always feared relationships, part of the reason being my tendency to lose feelings for the person I'm with. I often got sick of them. They no longer appealed to me. When this happened, I left the relationship.
Now during those previous "relationships", I always had Ilzorg in the back of my mind. There was no competition. He was always the one I wanted.
About 5 months ago, he and I started dating and I had the utmost confidence in our relationship. I have no attractions to anyone else - I really haven't since I met Ilzorg. So we've seen each other every day for the time we've been in this relationship, and text each other when we're apart. This behavior had been a contributing factor to why I broke up with my 4 previous boyfriends, but because of how stupidly happy I was, I still did it with Ilzorg.
So the predicament I'm in now, is that I'm feeling a little sick of Ilzorg. I finished my first packet of birth control pills, which led to vomitting and severe anxiety. Needless to say, I'm off of those now, and they likely have had an effect on how I'm feeling now. I don't want to drift away from my boyfriend. I love him to death; I've never had more faith in such a feeling before this week, but if I'm losing feelings for him, I need to learn how to keep them with me. Otherwise, I'll never get over this habit of mine! I need to learn how to stay in a successful relationship. I'm sure he's the one for me. I've been sure for 3 and a half years.
Any help is greatly appreciated. This is the first time I've had anxiety since I hit puberty. I don't want to lose the strongest feelings I've ever had.
Thank you,
Maddy
I met my boyfriend a little over three years ago(we'll call him Ilzorg), and the time I first laid eyes on him, we clicked instantly. I knew I wanted to be close to him. So, a year passed, we saw each other in and out of other relationships, and over the course of a week, I realized that no one I ever dated would measure up to the way I felt about him. He had no flaws to me, though others often disagreed. I felt this way for the next few years, though he and I never actually dated. We remained close friends on-and-off.
In that period, I had two other boyfriends(at seperate times, mind you) both of whom I denied being in a relationship with, out of fear.
I've always feared relationships, part of the reason being my tendency to lose feelings for the person I'm with. I often got sick of them. They no longer appealed to me. When this happened, I left the relationship.
Now during those previous "relationships", I always had Ilzorg in the back of my mind. There was no competition. He was always the one I wanted.
About 5 months ago, he and I started dating and I had the utmost confidence in our relationship. I have no attractions to anyone else - I really haven't since I met Ilzorg. So we've seen each other every day for the time we've been in this relationship, and text each other when we're apart. This behavior had been a contributing factor to why I broke up with my 4 previous boyfriends, but because of how stupidly happy I was, I still did it with Ilzorg.
So the predicament I'm in now, is that I'm feeling a little sick of Ilzorg. I finished my first packet of birth control pills, which led to vomitting and severe anxiety. Needless to say, I'm off of those now, and they likely have had an effect on how I'm feeling now. I don't want to drift away from my boyfriend. I love him to death; I've never had more faith in such a feeling before this week, but if I'm losing feelings for him, I need to learn how to keep them with me. Otherwise, I'll never get over this habit of mine! I need to learn how to stay in a successful relationship. I'm sure he's the one for me. I've been sure for 3 and a half years.
Any help is greatly appreciated. This is the first time I've had anxiety since I hit puberty. I don't want to lose the strongest feelings I've ever had.
Thank you,
Maddy