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View Full Version : Worried about losing feelings for him..


QQQQQ
November 19th, 2010, 01:29 PM
Please, any advice is greatly appreciated.
I met my boyfriend a little over three years ago(we'll call him Ilzorg), and the time I first laid eyes on him, we clicked instantly. I knew I wanted to be close to him. So, a year passed, we saw each other in and out of other relationships, and over the course of a week, I realized that no one I ever dated would measure up to the way I felt about him. He had no flaws to me, though others often disagreed. I felt this way for the next few years, though he and I never actually dated. We remained close friends on-and-off.
In that period, I had two other boyfriends(at seperate times, mind you) both of whom I denied being in a relationship with, out of fear.
I've always feared relationships, part of the reason being my tendency to lose feelings for the person I'm with. I often got sick of them. They no longer appealed to me. When this happened, I left the relationship.
Now during those previous "relationships", I always had Ilzorg in the back of my mind. There was no competition. He was always the one I wanted.
About 5 months ago, he and I started dating and I had the utmost confidence in our relationship. I have no attractions to anyone else - I really haven't since I met Ilzorg. So we've seen each other every day for the time we've been in this relationship, and text each other when we're apart. This behavior had been a contributing factor to why I broke up with my 4 previous boyfriends, but because of how stupidly happy I was, I still did it with Ilzorg.
So the predicament I'm in now, is that I'm feeling a little sick of Ilzorg. I finished my first packet of birth control pills, which led to vomitting and severe anxiety. Needless to say, I'm off of those now, and they likely have had an effect on how I'm feeling now. I don't want to drift away from my boyfriend. I love him to death; I've never had more faith in such a feeling before this week, but if I'm losing feelings for him, I need to learn how to keep them with me. Otherwise, I'll never get over this habit of mine! I need to learn how to stay in a successful relationship. I'm sure he's the one for me. I've been sure for 3 and a half years.
Any help is greatly appreciated. This is the first time I've had anxiety since I hit puberty. I don't want to lose the strongest feelings I've ever had.
Thank you,
Maddy

laurita_21
November 19th, 2010, 02:17 PM
If you are feeling sick of him just tell him you need some space or something? It looks like you two spend a lot of time together.
What I think is that you two love each other to bits, but sometimes it's better to be apart for a while, not "braking up", just having a break from each other and when you get to see him again you will still love him the same. Plus I don't think you can control wether you have feelings for someone or not, if your feelings for him go away, why force yourself to love him? When you don't. If they don't go away then great!
So don't be worried about whats gonna happen in the future, enjoy it now!
Good luck! :)

Theatheist of doom
November 19th, 2010, 10:14 PM
Yeah I agree with the comment above. Although I think Ilzorg is an interesting name on a psychologic level to pic for somone you like/ are dating, most people pick generic names to replace the names of loved ones.. Interesting.. LOL :D

QQQQQ
December 16th, 2010, 04:43 PM
"Ilzorg" is just the type of person he is, and I love him for that.
And Laurita, he is truly different than anyone I've ever met, and after I'd met him, I couldn't find anyone I'd rather spend my time with. I never think of marriage without him - he's the exception to a lot of my beliefs. The two of us really are perfect for each other, but my feelings for him now differ so greatly from my feelings for him during the previous 3 and a half years. I'm not sure whether or not that was because of the fat-ass crush I had on him, or maybe it was the excitement of chasing him, but it lasted up until we started dating: Then, a new feeling settled in.
It was less amazing, but different in the way that I had never felt more confident about anything but our relationship. I long to devote myself to him, but I want to feel like I did during the beginning of our relationship.

Even if it comes to the immaturity of "finding more excitement from the chase" or "getting bored in a singular relationship", then I need to find ways to get over those anyway. For Ilzorg, because he is my carbon-copy, and for myself.
I think what is driving a lot of these thoughts is anxiety, which I've had a great deal of recently (my hormones are whacked at the moment).
And I would like some help from people who have experienced these long-lasted relationships, because if anyone I'd spend my life with, it's this one.. Only I have a hard time connecting my Ilzorg(2010) with the old Ilzorg(2007-2009).