Nevermore
November 19th, 2010, 12:43 PM
It sounds simple right? Just distract yourself to avoid self harm. Well, those of us who self harm, know it's not easy. We need to change out mind set. Don't set yourself up for failure. Don't use words like I can't, or I failed. I know this is not easy, because I use these words every day. Think of everyday as a win. Everyday, every hour you don't hurt yourself, is a success. Celebrate your successes! If the most you can do is two weeks. Try going to 15. If you make it to 15 do something you love to do. Bake cookies, or reward yourself in some way. Play the 5 minutes to self harm game. You feel like you need to do it now? Well wait five minutes. The urge isn't as strong, and it's easier to say no. Now my psycologist told me something. If you dump ice water on your head it grounds you. You begin to focus on how cold it is, and your wet, instead of I need to cut. If you like cleaning up after yourself, this can help too, because the water is all over the place and on your clothes. So you need to change. You can truely do anything you set your mind to. We have the power to stop ourselves.
Last night I almost failed. My dad came in and screamed at me for biting my sister, when I never bit her. Then my mom came in and screamed at me for other things. This however wasn’t the usual screaming, which I can take. This was the I hate, you so I’m going to rip you apart in every possible way sort of screaming. I felt so low, I really wanted to die I hated life. Then I remebered how long do I have to live in this situation? Only a few years, and I'm done. I'm off to college, and I'll never have to deal with this again. There is hope! Look for it. There is hope in every situation. My best friend hates it when I cut. I think of him everytime I feel the need. It hurts him so much. Plus it's gotten to the point that I'm annoyed by my own scars. I have to wear black thick tights, and sweaters 24/7 to cover up my scars because it's screams self harmer. To be honest it sucks. :/ I'm embarrassed and regretful. However when I look back and I think of what I've gone through, my scars tell a story of what I survived. I've been closed to suicide a few times, I've even attempted on several occasions. I'm thankful none of them worked, or I didn't go completely through with it. So thankful. Please anyone who needs someone to talk to, I'm here for you. <3
Last night I almost failed. My dad came in and screamed at me for biting my sister, when I never bit her. Then my mom came in and screamed at me for other things. This however wasn’t the usual screaming, which I can take. This was the I hate, you so I’m going to rip you apart in every possible way sort of screaming. I felt so low, I really wanted to die I hated life. Then I remebered how long do I have to live in this situation? Only a few years, and I'm done. I'm off to college, and I'll never have to deal with this again. There is hope! Look for it. There is hope in every situation. My best friend hates it when I cut. I think of him everytime I feel the need. It hurts him so much. Plus it's gotten to the point that I'm annoyed by my own scars. I have to wear black thick tights, and sweaters 24/7 to cover up my scars because it's screams self harmer. To be honest it sucks. :/ I'm embarrassed and regretful. However when I look back and I think of what I've gone through, my scars tell a story of what I survived. I've been closed to suicide a few times, I've even attempted on several occasions. I'm thankful none of them worked, or I didn't go completely through with it. So thankful. Please anyone who needs someone to talk to, I'm here for you. <3