Man.. What the f*ck is wrong with me?

[Tankinx91]

Talking about emotions for me is tough, and i really don't know what to do at this point. Right now is a very exciting time in my life but this ongoing depression is crippling me.. I relapsed after about a month, but i don't know that cutting is helping me anymore.

I honestly feel like a basket case talking about this.. I don't want anybody to see this side of me, or feel bad for me. I was having re-occuring thoughts of suicide while cutting earlier, just thinking about how easy it would be to end the pain. I don't want to hurt anybody though, i'm just scared. I don't even know what im trying to say right now, i'm just having a mental breakdown right now and i can't deal.

Sorry if my post doesn't make any sense, i'm just a complete f*cking mess right now.

[Bath]

I definitely feel you on the whole being unable to express yourself thing while having a mental breakdown. Your thoughts are just going in circles to the point where you don't know what to think anymore. I wish I could give you advice but I can't really help, since I've been going through the same thing recently.

I guess if I had to say anything it'd be to just calm yourself down and distract yourself. I'd rather be sad but calm rather than feeling fucked up and crazy. I know it's so damn difficult but that's all I can say.

I know talking is hard but if you EVER need to vent, this forum is here for you, and so am I and everybody else. Just a visitor message, IM, or email is all it takes.

[Tankinx91]

I'm sorry to hear you're going through the same thing. That was just the first time i'd ever felt like i had truly "lost my mind." I just had so many things racing through my mind and i just sat in my room and fucked up and i just want to go to bed.. Maybe some sleep will set me straight. I don't know whats wrong i can't even think right now.

Again i'm sorry if i sound like a moron my mind just isn't right atm. I haven't slept in nearly 24 hours so im exhausted..

[Fiction]

Me, and many other people on this site have experienced this. For me it tends to be something i can't make go away, but in a few days/weeks/months it goes away by it's self. You just have to realise that there are brighter times ahead. I know sometimes it can be hard to believe that things can get better but they really can. Did for me.

[Syvelocin]

Taking your life will not make it go away. That won't fix a thing. You know what it does? It shows your depression that it won the war.

Stick around, because suicide won't end the pain, only continuing to live will. I know it doesn't seem like that, but as Fiction said, it definitely is.

Venting is what I'm here for, at least. Whether I have input or not, I will listen to even the one thousandth rant that you wish to have. Venting is great medicine. Talking about your feelings at first can be difficult. But continue to do it. Do it everyday, multiple times a day. It will get easier to do so and to articulate it better. And you'll definitely feel better.

I'm both socially inept and bipolar, so I definitely know how that feels. While I've always been an open book, I can't word things correctly in social situations. And my thoughts race constantly, 24/7 when I'm manic. People can't even understand the words I'm saying, let alone the point I'm trying to communicate. Again, like others have said already, it's a very common feeling that you're not alone in. I've found that even that knowledge is a huge relief. The feeling of loneliness is a great burden on your shoulders. But you're not alone, and never are.

[Mike321]

You not alone in feeling like this, I feel like you do sometimes, and I find it hard to show my emotions to anyone
Nearly all of us on here have these thoughts of sucide, and like Fiction said, it can take days, weeks, or months for the feelings to go away
But taking your own life is never worth it, even if it seems like it now, ti doesnt solve the problems, and causes lots more emotional pain for people around you.
Things will get better, it make take time, but things will start looking up, stick at it and keep on fighting, you can talk to any of us on here if you need to

[Philleeep]

Hey i have been through the same problem, i made a terrible mistake by turning everyone i cared for away from me thinking every thing would be fine, it truly wasn't. You need to turn to the people you love or one of you best friends that is a girl. Girls in this case always give good advice and comfort you. its taken me a while to get my friends and loved ones back, and i am truly upset i made the mistake, telling people makes you relieve the pain especially to your friends as i can guarantee half of them have felt the same at one point and you will be fine its not a permanent feeling, i hope this helps, Phill

[Tankinx91]

Thank you all so much. I still feel like I'm not all there 'mentally' but i feel better knowing i am not alone and i wish you all the best. It's just a scary feeling because i've never been there before but i will try to work on feeling better until i can get help for myself.