Regretful Sorrow
November 12th, 2010, 02:02 AM
I really just need someplace to talk to so I hope this site can help. Where to start ? I used to be an active kid always happy good relationship with my parents didn't have a problem in the world, then the teen years came along life got roughfrom their on. My friend introduced me to a game called "world of Warcraft" I started to play, little did I know i was addicted like that. Couldn't afford to pay for time, ( my dad who works full time 10h a day and makes 50$ an hour can't afford to give his son 15$) then the addiction over rode my conscious, i had to have time I just had to I thought then the addiction became stealing, I stole money from my parents let alone their credit card. Then bam! Next thing I know I have spent over 1000$ on a fucking stupid game. My parents obviously found out. My dad kicked the shit out of mr I would have to go to school lying to coucellers teachers, and friends about blacks eyes and swollen faces. I got a job finally, things started to turn around. I saved up 1k for a laptop of my own something my parents couldn't take away from me. Then again... I got back into the, addiction over rode me again. I stopped going to work over a game, next thing I know I got fired. I am out of money sources, I stopped going to school. Faint classes. Started to lie and steal from my parents again. Sure I knew what was gong to happen but addiction ruled who I was. My life got shitier and shitier. My mom hates who I am only I'm not even her son anymore.. I'm the scum that you can find in the sewers. All my dad wants to do with me is bitch at me when I have done little things wrong and do stuff around the house. I have been kicked out several times. I have never had a break in life, do me life is the shitiest thing eve. So for all you that have made it this far Into my life story. LIFE ISN'T FAIR AND NEVER WILL BE GET USED TO IT. Now back to this. I had recently spent 15$ dollars of my moms money on some songs and a game off iTunes for my iPod touch. I am now at the end of the month going to be charged with fraud and theft......from my own mom I might be goin to juvi. Now what brings it down to the last part of this which makes it fit in this Fourm section. The past few months I have been having suicidal thoughts and attempts... I can't see myself not have a life, spending years in juvi, not being able to travel out of Canada when I'm older. To think my the person who brought me into this world would do such a thing to me. Everytime I attempt to do it I get scared. But why? Not like anyone cares for me anyways right? My parents don't love me, sure I have lots of friends and good friends? But what do I know they acutally think about me? The only person I have in this whole entire world that atleast has love for me and cares about me is my step brother, to bad he's in rehab for 5 months and I have no one to talk to... I feel like killing myself every second .... this world has no place for a scum bag like me. If you have read all this thanks, atleast. I know someone cares enough...