I keep slipping up.

[georgiamay]

I just fucked up, yet again. How many more times am I going to do this? I'm thinking about it constantly. I went 80 something days before, and now I can't even get to 1 month.

Why do I do this? I didn't want to. But I know if I didn't, I would have done it anyway next week, and it would have been a lot deeper. I did i twice, once where I planned to go upstairs and cut with nail scissors, the second time I was in the shower, and I just kind of lifted the razor fromv my leg and dragged it along my hip. I didn't even realise I was doing it. No, that's not right, I knew I was doing it, but I didn't choose to, it just happened. Does that make any sense?

I'm going to shut up now, this was more of a rant than anything.

[Fiction]

it does make sense. Georgia you know i am ALWAYS here for you, just like your always there for me. We make a good team bitch ;)
Maybe try getting rid of your blades. I think we should try and stop together. Both get rid of our blades or something. :)

[georgiamay]

Thanks Kathy :) The only problem id that I got rid of my blades ages ago. I've been using stuff that I've found lying around the house. My mum's nail scissors (I wash them before and after obviously). I can't get rid of that. And I can't get rid of my razor, I need that to shave my legs :P

[Fiction]

Oh :( Get a razor that you can't use the blades on very easily :)

[georgiamay]

Yeah I think I will. But I don't think it'll stop me. If I'm desperate enough, I can use anything as a cutting tool.

I wish I never started this, I had no idea it'd end up like this.