Soo... Polyamory???

[Axellance]

How do you guys feel about it? Can it work? Is it wrong?

I think my boyfriend me and one of my close guy friends may have something going on between the three of us.

[Katrina]

It depends on what your believes are. If you think that it is okay to have more than one intimate friend, then I don't see why not. Personally, I wouldn't because, well you should find that ONE special someone and well as I said, it depends on what you believe and think.

[Fiction]

I think as long as you are all honest about it and all happy with it then it's fine, although i can't imagine anyone ever being happy with it. I think the only thing that makes it wrong is how much it hurts people, but if it isn't hurting anyone then there's nothing wrong if you understand what i'm trying to say :P

[Sage]

This (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t1zSU7LjSDg) might be of help.

[Andrew0017]

Well, whatever works for you, really. Personally I find it gross and I could never see myself being involved in that type of a relationship. Like someone before me stated, I believe in finding the "one special person."

[ShatteredWings]

I don't see anything wrong with it from a moral standpoint.

"If it feels good, do it" isn't always the best policy, but you're not suggesting slutting yourself out (I won't argue morals on it, but there is the STD thing) so I don't see anything dangerous about this.

How do the other two guys feel about having..like, a committed 3way? If I understand what you're problem is?

[nick]

If the three of you are all happy about it, no one is cheating or going behind anyone elses back, then I dont see that its anyone elses business really. Its not conventional, and I cant imagine it working for me, but I see no real harm in it if its what you all want.

[Axellance]

We are all aware of whats going on... we are all okay with it. Its more of a triad, we would be exclusive and sex would be with only the three of us and only when we are all present. I am in love with Ian (my friend... now boyfriend) and Robby (boyfriend)... and Ian and Robby really like each other and have feelings for one another. It would be a closed relationship and no more people would be brought into it... I never thought i could feel like this... I opposed the idea of a polyamorous relationship... but now i think it could work...

Has anyone been in a situation like this (if so what worked? what didn't?)? Does anyone have any advice on how to make it work? I'm really afraid of something going wrong and loosing Ian's friendship and loosing Robby too :/

Thanks everyone who has responded, the YouTube video was very helpful Sage

[Maverick]

Its more of a triad, we would be exclusive and sex would be with only the three of us and only when we are all present
I have a feeling that won't last... and what are you going to do if they break that agreement?

My personal opinion is this. It may seem okay for awhile but very likely somebody is going to become the third wheel here and get left behind. And it very well could be you. You've opened up a can of worms and you very well could be out of a BF and friend later on.

You're afraid of something going wrong because this definitely isn't going to last. Not only does bringing another person add more complication to the relationship, but being with two guys that have a relaxed attitude doing monogamy just opens you up to more risk for diseases. What if they decide later on they want a 4th guy and you're outvoted?

[Axellance]

we have talked about it, there will be no more then the three of us. It's a monogamous triad and we have all recently been tested for std's also. None of us are okay with cheating... and this happening was mostly my doing... i know things could go wrong... and that does worry me which is why advice on making it work would be very helpful.

[SlightlySane]

I have a hard time saying that I agree with this idea. I do not judge people for doing something like this, but I fear for their own happiness in the relationship. My fears would be that while there are three people who hall have feelings for each other, two of them may become close leaving, as Ant said, a third wheel. When you divide attention like that between two other people rather than one I think it becomes difficult. In a relationship many people want to put on their focus into that one special person, but now there are two. It would be incredibly easy to get jealous if one were two think the other two were bonding more and paying more attention.

Sex would be another concern. How can you be certain that it would be intimate between three people. Sex is supposed to be the most incredibly show of affection towards a person. How do you turn something like that into affection equally among to other people. Our bodies aren't made to have sex with multiple partners at once, and the male body would struggle with that even more so.

I believe that if you think you can make it work, then it is your choice to go through with it or not. However, I don't predict this to last very long at all. Being with one person can be a struggle at times with; scheduling conflicts, arguments, family troubles, etc... Imagine the difficulty of being with two other people, and only being allowed to be with them if they are both present.

[Kitty Purry]

If you and the two other guys feel that it can work for you guys. Then go for it, if you find out that you dont like it then you just dont have to do it again :P. Personnally i dont think that that could ever work out for me. ^_^ but its your life not mine haha:).

[Redheads Rule]

I dunno it just seems weird, but I guess if you have it planned it should be ok

[closed]

It doesn't matter what the world thinks. Are you okay with it? are they ok with it? If you love each other i don't see any reason this is wrong. As long as it's willingly, i think you can do everything you want. Good Luck