So....

[Malcolm Tucker]

It's gotten too much. Far too much. I can't stand it any more. I can't keep feeling like this. More specifically, I can't go into my final year at school, facing the most important set of exams I'll ever face with this over me. So. I am getting help. My girlfriend and another good friend have talked me into it and I told my mam last night. I'm seeing my GP Friday evening and I'm going to keep VT informed. Wish me luck. I hope that some of you will find the strength to get help too. You will not regret it.

[Kaius]

Good luck Michael, i'm proud of you for doing it :)

[Haven]

Best wishes to you. :) I hope everything goes well.

[nick]

Good luck Michael. Seeing my GP was a big step for me but I'm glad I did because he's helped me a lot.

[Malcolm Tucker]

Thanks everyone :)

[Fiction]

Well done Micheal! :) That's something i could never do so i actually admire you for doing it :)

[enjoying_my_insanity]

great job michael! best of luck talking to your GP :) you can get through this!

[Ender]

Good Luck man :) Really really glad to hear you're taking this step.

[closed]

Good luck! smart decision... i wish everyone could do this :)

[Malcolm Tucker]

Cheers you guys! :)

So tomorrow is the big day. 4:10pm :/ I'm terrified. For no reason. I'm absolutely sickened with fear. I don't know why :/ My doctor is really lovely. But still...

[DarkHorses]

I think that is really brave and smart of you. :) I wish everyone had the same courage. Best of luck, I hope that everything goes well.

[nick]

Good luck Michael

[Malcolm Tucker]

Thanks.

I think my fear is founded in the fact that I'll be given a diagnosis tomorrow. In so far as...I'll be labelled. Be it bi-polar, PTSD, Clinical Depression or whatever. It'll be done. :/

[DarkHorses]

But maybe getting a label is the best thing, because it's one step closer to getting help. If you know just what you have, it's easier to tackle the problem and to come up with a solution. Also, don't think that that label is in any way part of you. I went through a period where I was so angry with myself and believed that I WAS depression, so you have to remind yourself that you have a mental illness, but that doesn't mean you are your mental illness, if that makes sense. You're still you, no matter what mental illness you might have.

[Malcolm Tucker]

But maybe getting a label is the best thing, because it's one step closer to getting help. If you know just what you have, it's easier to tackle the problem and to come up with a solution. Also, don't think that that label is in any way part of you. I went through a period where I was so angry with myself and believed that I WAS depression, so you have to remind yourself that you have a mental illness, but that doesn't mean you are your mental illness, if that makes sense. You're still you, no matter what mental illness you might have.

Yeah, you're right :) Thanks. I'm settled now :)

[Fiction]

Good luck with tomorrow :)

[Malcolm Tucker]

Ha guys tomorrow is TWLOHA day. How apt!

[Quick_Sylver]

Its because you've been hiding it so long hun. :hug3: You'll be fine. You're strong. Be safe<3

[Malcolm Tucker]

So I'm back from my GP's. She asked me a ream of questions about it:


How long have I been feeling like this?
What does it feel like when I am depressed, exactly?
Why am I getting help for this now?
How have I been coping thus far?
How long have I self-harmed?
Do any of my family know?
What does it feel like when I'm upset?
How long does my bad feeling last?
How often a day can I have mood drops?
Can she see some of my scars? (I showed her my worst one from a year or so ago)
What do you use to cut yourself?
Have you ever tried to overdose?
Why do I self-harm, what does it feel like before and after?
Have I ever done it with the intention of killing myself?
Do I drink alcohol?
Do I use recreational drugs?


That's about the size of it. She's sending a letter to get me a referral. I'll hear about it in 1 or 2 weeks. That really shocked me, the stuff she asked.

[Fiction]

I'm glad it went ok :) Good luck with the rest of it :)

[Quick_Sylver]

:) You're so strong sweety. You'll get through this, I know you will. :)

[Malcolm Tucker]

UPDATE.

Got my letter from the hospital Thursday. I got an appointment with the psychologist on January 10th, so until then it's just counting the days really.

Woot.

[Fiction]

Good look with your appointment :D xx

[georgiamay]

YAY MICHAEL!! well done!

Good luck with your appointment :)

[RockstarRocks]

im behind on credits so i no how u feel

[Malcolm Tucker]

UPDATE:

It's a month away. No. Less. 3 1/2 weeks. I am TERRIFIED. Absolutely terrified. The main thing that's in my head...

If I get diagnosed with any form of Bipolar disorder then I can never be a pilot. That's the only thing keeping me hanging on in my darkest hour....I'm afraid this will do more damage than good.

Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.

[Ender]

Michael, im rooting for you. I hope you get the help you need, without a diagnosis that will crush your dream. If you ever need to talk just let me know.