Okay, for real, I'm so angry.

[jkitsjustjake]

I'm a very angry person.

Very tiny things will irritate me, and sometimes even anger me.

The one thing--person-- that angers me the most is my dad. Everything he does is disgusting and irritating. EVERYTHING. I never want to be around him. I wish he'd just move out. I hate him so much. I don't even know what it is. I'm filled with instant rage by just hearing him in the next room, seeing him, or .. dear lord, being on the computer and hearing him snore over top my BLASTING music.


HE ENRAGES ME AND I DON'T KNOW WHY. It gets to the point where I hit myself, other things, biting myself or other things, ect. Nobody or ANYTHING makes me act this way, except him. He's so disgusting. That's the only word that describes him. Disgusting.

How can I stop being so mad about him? Everything else doesn't even matter. I just hate being so angry at someone that lives with me. It effects everything I do. My mom knows this but she doesn't do anything about it except tells me to suck it up and deal with it. How can I deal with it when I get so angry that I hurt myself without thinking and then just cry? It's pathetic.

EDIT:
By the way, he picks really bad fights with me every time he has to drive me somewhere. I end up snapping and having an emotional breakdown every time. They get worse and worse and worse every time it happens.

I can't keep doing this.

[Fact]

It sounds like there's definitely something other than the fact that you think your dad is 'disgusting' behind this.

Did something happen to your during your early childhood? Age 5-12 or something like that, that you've kind of locked up?
If so, then that will probably be what this is about.

I feel very similarly to you about my mother. Just her presence makes me want to impulsively do something evil... It's like she brings out everything bad in me for no reason and I hate it. I view her as pathetic, stupid etc.
But I know why - because of how my life is and because it's basically her fault; as she's too 'scared' to do anything about it.

↑ so that's the thing that makes me so angry, do you have anything like that which relates to your dad?

I think, though, that you won't feel like this forever. For now you need to try and find a way of controlling your anger by expressing it through other things that aren't violent, or just trying to forget about your anger as much as possible.
Of course this isn't at all an easy thing to do, but with practise and patience, maybe you'll get there?

Good luck and I hope what I've said can help you.

[Fiction]

I'm pretty similar to both my parents. They both just annoy me whatever they do and as Fact said is there an underlying problem that maybe makes you feel like this?
All you can really do is try and avoid him as much as possible and try to find less violent ways of letting out your anger. Good luck.

[jkitsjustjake]

Thanks for the replies.

I've tried letting my anger out on other stuff, but it never helps, at all. I'll hit pillows, eat my feelings, play violent games, read books, blast music, nothing helps.

I don't know what it is about him that makes me mad. He's the average dad, Did the same things as my mom when I was little. Both of my parents spanked me, yelled at me, ect. Both of my parents work, break promises, and in general let me down.

I have no idea what it is. Just now I woke up and mom had made me a plate from breakfast, and having him less than 2 feet away from me nearly made me lose my appetite. I had to force my self to take the plate.

[Fact]

Thanks for the replies.

I've tried letting my anger out on other stuff, but it never helps, at all. I'll hit pillows, eat my feelings, play violent games, read books, blast music, nothing helps.

I don't know what it is about him that makes me mad. He's the average dad, Did the same things as my mom when I was little. Both of my parents spanked me, yelled at me, ect. Both of my parents work, break promises, and in general let me down.

I have no idea what it is. Just now I woke up and mom had made me a plate from breakfast, and having him less than 2 feet away from me nearly made me lose my appetite. I had to force my self to take the plate.

If it's being around him that makes you feel so repulsed, then maybe just try removing yourself from the situation? Often, the more you feed on obsession, the more it bothers you. If you try to stop feeling so angry, but without saying something to yourself like "I'm never going to get angry again" and thinking more "this is irrational, I need to start calming down" could help?

Naturally it depends on your individual situation, thoughts and feelings, just a suggestion that might help?

[jkitsjustjake]

I've tried that though.. Every time I have to go somewhere with him I think "Okay, there isn't a reason to be mad today, just chill." My mom used to have him drive me places, but not anymore after the last fight we had.

I lasted half an hour, thats a record for me. I kept telling myself "don't get angry, there isn't a reason to get angry, it isn't worth it to fight, a fight doesn't need to happen today" And of course, his smartass remarks, laughing at my misery, insulting me, refusing to let me respond to him.. I got so mad I started to cry a little bit, but I held my tongue. When he noticed, he yelled and laughed and had a field trip with that. And then I snapped. And he recorded me breaking down. HE RECORDED IT I just wanted to go to my rehearsal..I ended up getting there, thankfully. Once there, I sucked up my pride, had a long drink from the water fountain, and endured the grueling 3 hours before my mom came to get me. Then I cried in front of her for 2 straight hours.

My dad picks fights in the car in a sad attempt to get out of taking me places. I know he does! He'll do it when I h ave to go to the doctor, rehearsals, a friend's house, or just to the grocery store. He did it to my half-siblings, too.

[Fact]

I've tried that though.. Every time I have to go somewhere with him I think "Okay, there isn't a reason to be mad today, just chill." My mom used to have him drive me places, but not anymore after the last fight we had.

I lasted half an hour, thats a record for me. I kept telling myself "don't get angry, there isn't a reason to get angry, it isn't worth it to fight, a fight doesn't need to happen today" And of course, his smartass remarks, laughing at my misery, insulting me, refusing to let me respond to him.. I got so mad I started to cry a little bit, but I held my tongue. When he noticed, he yelled and laughed and had a field trip with that. And then I snapped. And he recorded me breaking down. HE RECORDED IT I just wanted to go to my rehearsal..I ended up getting there, thankfully. Once there, I sucked up my pride, had a long drink from the water fountain, and endured the grueling 3 hours before my mom came to get me. Then I cried in front of her for 2 straight hours.

My dad picks fights in the car in a sad attempt to get out of taking me places. I know he does! He'll do it when I h ave to go to the doctor, rehearsals, a friend's house, or just to the grocery store. He did it to my half-siblings, too.

To be honest, the way you say it, your dad just sounds like an ass.
If he can't see that what he's doing is affecting you in such a big way, then he doesn't deserve to see you at all.
Maybe you need to reverse rolls for him to realise what he's doing to you? Try holding it in again? - don't say anything, don't even comprehend him for a while.
Or maybe you could try persuading your mother to do more about this as she seems to see what's happening.

I'm not sure what else to suggest to you except keeping as far away from him as you can or facing up to him (which may not be the best thing here if just listening to him makes you so upset that you cry).

[jkitsjustjake]

Hm.. not respond to him? I guess I could try that. I've been ignoring him all week. He's tried calling my phone (from across the house, no less) and recording voice mails trying to get me to talk to him. He thinks its all me causing fights, that I'm a rude, ignorant kid who doesn't act his age at all.

He doesn't even know that he makes me mad!

I suppose next time I could just put my headphones on and go along my business. With my luck he'd break them..

[Fact]

Hm.. not respond to him? I guess I could try that. I've been ignoring him all week. He's tried calling my phone (from across the house, no less) and recording voice mails trying to get me to talk to him. He thinks its all me causing fights, that I'm a rude, ignorant kid who doesn't act his age at all.

He doesn't even know that he makes me mad!

I suppose next time I could just put my headphones on and go along my business. With my luck he'd break them..

Going on the principle of "if you don't give the 'bully' anything to work with, then they can't bully you", just ignoring your dad could work.

If he's got nothing to accuse you of/talk about, then he can't hurt you ^^

It will be hard, but just continue trialling it?

[jkitsjustjake]

Heh, he'd probably accuse me of trying to start a fight by not answering him. I'll try that next time. Mom isn't letting him go around me for a while, but I guess just avoiding him will suffice for now.

Thanks

[Fact]

Heh, he'd probably accuse me of trying to start a fight by not answering him. I'll try that next time. Mom isn't letting him go around me for a while, but I guess just avoiding him will suffice for now.

Thanks

You're welcome ^^
I hope this situation gets better for you.

[Andredavid]

I feel the same way about my mum
Just anything and everything she does is so annoying and dumb
But i think you feel that way is just because your ready to move out and if your under a lot of stress at school or any where that would probly make it a lot harder to deal with.especially since it at home a place where you should be able to relax. But idk i try an tell myself that all the time but i still get mad at my mum even if she says nice things.

[Fact]

I feel the same way about my mum
Just anything and everything she does is so annoying and dumb
But i think you feel that way is just because your ready to move out and if your under a lot of stress at school or any where that would probly make it a lot harder to deal with.especially since it at home a place where you should be able to relax. But idk i try an tell myself that all the time but i still get mad at my mum even if she says nice things.

I'm the same.
My mother is incapable of listening and comprehending.
We argue every day simply because she doesn't listen to me. It normally goes like this;
Her:"HEEEEEYYY! How was school?"
Me:"It was alright, not in the mood to talk."
Her:"Why? What's wrong? What happened? BLE'LEB'LELB'ELB!."
Me:"...I just said it was alright and that I just don't want to talk? I have a headache..."
Her:"There's no need to be so anti-social and nasty."
Me:"When the hell was I 'nasty'?"
Her:"You're doing it right now!"
Me:"Yeah... because you just blatantly provoked me by accusing and assuming..."
Her:"You're so horrible."
Me:"Whatever, I'm not talking to you."
Her:"See! So rude."
Me:*wants to kill her*

A variation of that happens every day. If I don't talk, I'm rude. If I talk, I'm being horrible/nasty/a bitch.
No matter what I say or anything, everything has to be my fault. So now I just give up attempting to hold a conversation, then she moans about me never talking to her...
Stupid bitch...

[Sith Lord 13]

And he recorded me breaking down. HE RECORDED IT I just wanted to go to my rehearsal..I ended up getting there, thankfully.

Did he say why he was recording it? A couple of times my parents threatened to record my breakdowns because we had conflicting accounts of what happened and how things came across. A thought might be to try and watch the recording with him and discuss what was going on. Perhaps if you guys break down and examine what happened, discussing it when you're both calm, you can come to a pleasant solution. :)