I Did it again !

[paigey]

Great.... i give up . Everytime i promise someone i care about to give up i just give into temptation. I Was doing so well ... then something happened... i saw someone i hurt . It was like i didnt even think to cut i just did it not noticing . I Had to do it though ! Am i a failure ? i found a teacher in my school that used to self harm and shes been trying to help me :) Everyone always trying to help me but i always feel so terrible . why is this ?

[Harley Quinn]

the guilt is kicking in, most self harmers feel guilty for what they have done. I know that when i was actually cutting i felt guiltier and guiltier. I'm glad that someone is helping you out, they will if they know exactly what is going on, afterall no one can help you if you don't speak up.

[paigey]

ok have you stopped now ? yeah its good having somebody there . i also feel i rely on this person too much ! ok i will speak up thanks for that :)

[Harley Quinn]

ok have you stopped now ? yeah its good having somebody there . i also feel i rely on this person too much ! ok i will speak up thanks for that :)

I've been clean for.. something like 93 days, so yes i have :P
you can never rely on someone to much, especially seeing as they are there to help you, it's their job.

[tombstone]

i've gone 3 weeks and two days. Promising to stop is a bit of a hollow promise in my opinion. You can promise to try not to, but like you said, something happens and all reasons and lines of thought that stopped you before are gone.

Your probably feeling terrible because you've let people down, but mostly your self. Don't be to hard, a mistake is only a mistake if you don't learn from it.

[BuryYourFlame]

Constantly keeping the thought of this special person in your mind often provides a good advantage. Before cutting, think of the consequences, especially towards your friend, the effect it will have on them. It is a hard habit to get into, but once you have it, it really does help see you through the urges the majority of the time.

[whereismymind]

Good your getting help but I'd probably agree with the guilt thing but your trying its not like your completely giving up. Just keep trying you don't want to get into doing. Feel free to message me if you need to talk

[georgiamay]

You're not a failure, it's just a bump in the road. That happens sometimes.

I'm so glad that you have someone you can talk to, in particular someone that understands what you're going through. Don't be afraid to rely on them, there's no such thing as relying on someone too much, so don't be afraid to go to them, ever.

Like the others have said, I think it's the guilt of letting people down. I get it all the time, and sometimes I feel so guilty that it makes me want to cut more. It's a vicious cycle. But all cycles can be broken.

Feel free to PM me anytime :hug3:

[Punk_Kid]

The longest I've been clean for was like 3 months cuz school took my mind off of everything. But then I started cutting again a couple weeks ago cuz depression kicked in again.

I try to busy myself. I'm into wood working and yard work type stuff so I try to mix that in with video games and reading. When I'm sitting idle in my room is when I cut, so I strongly recommend talking to people you trust, keeping yourself busy, maybe try something new like playing different online games or reading different books.

Hope everything works out:D

[Mike321]

Your are not a failure, we all slip up sometimes
Its good that you have someone you can go and talk to about this, it really does help having another person, especialy someone who knows what your going through

As everyone else has said its probably the feeling that your letting people down that makes you guilty, its a hard habit/ cycle to break but it can be done

PM/VM me if you want to talk

[paigey]

Thanks for all the messages guys :D ive gone a few days now .. i had an absolutly crap day but im not letting that get in my way :) relying on people is a bad thing ! like what if there not there and i really need them for example .... ! ok im definatly going to try doing things more to distract myself :P well done to all those who have stopped i wish i was as strong as you :) x

[BuryYourFlame]

Yes, relying on people can bring negative consequences, but I'm not sure this is enough to say flat out that relying on them is a bad thing to do. People can be of great support when needed, but they can also let us down when we need them. Finding a balance between trustworthy friends and a good number of friends helps in always having a support network. So if one friend lets you down, there are still others available you can talk to, but at the same time you don't want a large number of people knowing all your secrets etc.

It's often a question of who you are willing to hurt for. Recognising they will hurt you eventually, but choosing to love them and accept them as a friend anyway.

[paigey]

Ok well ive promised 3 people i would give up and there the closest people i have to friends ! yess im willing to hurt for them , i just feel so lonely when there not there ...... i didnt really like trusting people up to now after an incident with an old friend who i was willing to lay my life down for and they really hurt me . These people could never hurt me ... there very presence is everything to me :)