I'm A Disgusting Human Being

[guacamole24]

This is gross.

If you've ever read any of my posts here, you would know that a lot of the time, I feel really lost in myself... saying that my mind traps me into situations and feelings that I don't want.
Like this summer I was worried sick about impregnating someone when I've never even had sex. So stupid.
The newest thing freaks me out to no extent. I guess I've been worried about this in the back of my mind for a while, but now it's really coming upfront.
Is it possible that I am attracted to children?
It sounds evilly disgusting and it is, but is it most likely that this is just my mind playing tricks on me?
For the past, I don't know, week? Every time I've seen a child i get really tense inside because my mind is trying to tell me that I'm attracted to them, when I sure a heck don't think I am.
To set things straight, I have NEVER masturbated over children. Ever ever. Granted I have masturbated over memories from elementary school, which may have something to do with me worry, but I have never masturbated over a child. I promise you. I am gay, so I masturbate over teen boys, and that's about it.
I am so afraid. I almost lost it while at school today... I'm drowning in my worries and problems.
So is this probably just my mind, or is it possible I am a pedophile?
Thank you.

[Fiending_the_freedom]

First off, I just want to say how brave you're being.
Now, You are not a pedophile!
I understand that you are really confused and feeling really guilty over these feelings but remember one thing:
IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!
All of us have compulsive thoughts, sometimes downright disgusting, you cannot control where your brain takes you.
Don't be to hard on yourself hun,
Now I know it might be scary, but so that you can feel better and deal with these thoughts you should really talk to someone.
Therapists can help you with this and will NOT judge you!
The fact that you're asking for help shows how you're a good person!
Hang in there!

[guacamole24]

Thank you so much for the support. And thank you so much for reassuring me of myself.

[paigey]

I Get exacly the same thing and ive been really worried about it . i actaully posted this on here and got a few replies saying you can't control what you think ....... ive spoken to my pscologist and she said the same thing so i guess we'll have to stick with this !!

[ShaneK]

There is nothing wrong with you we all at sometime have recurring disturbing thoughts.

[Awesome Sauce]

This is gross.

If you've ever read any of my posts here, you would know that a lot of the time, I feel really lost in myself... saying that my mind traps me into situations and feelings that I don't want.
Like this summer I was worried sick about impregnating someone when I've never even had sex. So stupid.
The newest thing freaks me out to no extent. I guess I've been worried about this in the back of my mind for a while, but now it's really coming upfront.
Is it possible that I am attracted to children?
It sounds evilly disgusting and it is, but is it most likely that this is just my mind playing tricks on me?
For the past, I don't know, week? Every time I've seen a child i get really tense inside because my mind is trying to tell me that I'm attracted to them, when I sure a heck don't think I am.
To set things straight, I have NEVER masturbated over children. Ever ever. Granted I have masturbated over memories from elementary school, which may have something to do with me worry, but I have never masturbated over a child. I promise you. I am gay, so I masturbate over teen boys, and that's about it.
I am so afraid. I almost lost it while at school today... I'm drowning in my worries and problems.
So is this probably just my mind, or is it possible I am a pedophile?
Thank you.

One thing:

Don't call your problems stupid. They're not.

Second:

Don't EVER think for one second you're a disgusting human being. It's, again, not true.

And, third:

I think a lot of people go through this stage of worry. I did in 7th grade, boy was that hell. Just don't think about it so much, it will go away.

Oh, and one more thing? I smoked pot for two years(6th and seventh grade), and I admitted it to my parents(rehab isn't as bad as you'd think!), so telling your parents you're having pedofidic thoughts couldn't be that wierd.


This is me, saying be happy!