Hello there

[Amnesiac]

So, I've never done drugs, and I'm not planning to. However, on Saturday a guy offered to smoke weed with me and a few other guys next weekend. I said no, because I couldn't do that to myself or my parents, but I said "maybe" to tagging along and hanging out with them while they do it. A very good friend of mine was also there, and he agreed to do it (because he's laid back when it comes to drugs), but I don't know if he's going or not.

So, as you can see, I'm in an interesting situation. I've promised myself I won't do drugs, so that's out of the question. However, I'm afraid that if I decide to go with them on Friday, I'll end up doing something.

I'm a freshman in high school, and this was pretty much inevitable. Does VT have any advice on what I should do?

[Fiction]

It really depends on weather you think you can trust yourself or not. If you really wanted to not take drugs that much surly you'd be able to trust yourself? But then again do you really want to be hanging out with a load of people who will be high when you won't be?

[The Dark Lord]

It depends on your will power and how highly you value your friendship. if you think you might fall to peer pressure, then tell your friend to fuck off, otherwise go along. But then again do you really want to be hanging out with a load of people who will be high when you won't be?

[mranderson]

If u dont wanna do drugs then the best thing to do would be to not go

[Azunite]

Drugs are bad, so why try it?
Addicts become addicts from this sentence "I'll just try..."

[Sith Lord 13]

So, as you can see, I'm in an interesting situation. I've promised myself I won't do drugs, so that's out of the question. However, I'm afraid that if I decide to go with them on Friday, I'll end up doing something.

The question you have to ask yourself is why. Why did you promise yourself that? Why are you afraid you'll end up doing it?

If you're answer to the first is sound, believe in it and the second won't be an issue. If you're answer to the first isn't sound, maybe you need to reevaluate that promise.

[Amnesiac]

The question you have to ask yourself is why. Why did you promise yourself that? Why are you afraid you'll end up doing it?

If you're answer to the first is sound, believe in it and the second won't be an issue. If you're answer to the first isn't sound, maybe you need to reevaluate that promise.

Well, I don't think I'll end up going. I promised myself I wouldn't try weed and stuff like that because I'm pretty afraid it'll lead to something worse, and keeping a secret that big from my parents would be too much for me to bare.

Drugs are bad, so why try it?
Addicts become addicts from this sentence "I'll just try..."

I'm not going to try. I already said that.

It really depends on weather you think you can trust yourself or not. If you really wanted to not take drugs that much surly you'd be able to trust yourself? But then again do you really want to be hanging out with a load of people who will be high when you won't be?

It depends on your will power and how highly you value your friendship. if you think you might fall to peer pressure, then tell your friend to fuck off, otherwise go along. But then again do you really want to be hanging out with a load of people who will be high when you won't be?

Yeah, that's the thing. While they guys who asked me would be cool with me not doing anything, the peer pressure's still there. I think I can trust myself, but still, being the only clean person in a room full of people doing weed is... powerful, to say the least.

If u dont wanna do drugs then the best thing to do would be to not go

And with that, I probably won't end up going. The friend I planned to go with decided to do something else, so I'm almost 100% sure I won't go. However, this doesn't mean the issue's dead, they'll probably still ask me to go, I'll just have to tell them no.

[cessnajunky]

Drugs are bad, so why try it?
Addicts become addicts from this sentence "I'll just try..."

I would agree with this if we were talking about any drug but weed. There have been multiple study that show coffee is more addicting then weed it. It is impossible to get addicted to weed.

[wtblife]

Yeah I'd recommend not going. No need to tell em to fuck off, but being sober around people who aren't usually isn't fun.

[wtblife]

I would agree with this if we were talking about any drug but weed. There have been multiple study that show coffee is more addicting then weed it. It is impossible to get addicted to weed.

I'll believe you when you say coffee is more addicting and I agree that the quote doesn't so much apply to weed, but weed can be addictive just like anything else. Most drugs out there don't have physical addictions with serious physical withdrawals, but that doesn't mean they're not addictive. Someone can be addicted to pretty much anything, it's just a habit you form to the point of being hard to break.

[Amnesiac]

Yeah I'd recommend not going. No need to tell em to fuck off, but being sober around people who aren't usually isn't fun.

Yeah, I'll just hang with them when they're not doing anything. Also...

I would agree with this if we were talking about any drug but weed. There have been multiple study that show coffee is more addicting then weed it. It is impossible to get addicted to weed.

I wouldn't jump to conclusions. The guy who offered's been getting high every day for the past 2 weeks.

[staying_alive]

Haha dude the past two weeks? That's nothing. I know people who smoke every day and have for a LONG time, like months approaching years. One person I knew smoked every morning before school in the parking lot. He quit that and now only smokes occasionally, showing how easy it is to come off of weed.

Your friend that's been smoking for two weeks is just enjoying what he's doing, he'll most likely slow himself down. You're a freshmen in high school, I don't want to belittle your experience but your lack thereof is quite apparent.

When I was a freshman, I was ASTONISHED at what people did. Weed scared me because of the smoke. Alcohol scared me because it was meant for people over 21, NOT teenagers. My school is big on the "great image, great grades, HUGE drug/alcohol consumption to make up for the hard work" mentality, something I got smacked in the face with as a freshman. I started drinking between freshmen and sophomore years and smoking during sophomore year after being so against it. These intros to substances were combinations of peer pressure and my own curiosity. Knowing that everyone does it safely also helped calm me down, because there are many successful people in my school who smoke weed/drink regularly.

Maybe you're REALLY good at stress-relief or you don't apply yourself that much. I know I wasn't too high-strung freshman year, so there was little need for an increase in "fun". As sophomore and junior classes upped my stress level, so did my need for fun. I'm a junior now and safely use weed and alcohol, usually on weekends, to make up for my tough weeks.

As for my actual advice, I think you should go. I don't see any problem with it. If you go and don't smoke, you probably won't have the best time, but it isn't that bad to be sober around high people. It's kind of fun to mess with them actually. And if you do give in to the pressure and do it, why feel bad about it? If you're the kind of upstanding person you seem to be, it shouldn't be a problem. Your parents aren't going to straight up ask you if you've smoked weed, so you don't need to lie to them. It's seriously not a big deal, but I understand that some people handle these things very differently.

Finally, I'll leave you with this. I consider myself above the influence of others' telling me what I should and shouldn't do, instead deciding for myself what is good and bad. AKA anti-drug commercials have no effect on me, because I'd rather experience something for myself and then decide what my stance is on it. I'm a 3.9 student taking an AP/honors curriculum and taking Econ at a university in the spring, and I manage it fine. You should have no problems.

Good luck.

EDIT: Disclaimer: I am in no way condoning drug use. Every individual has a right to their own decisions and I am not here to pressure anyone. Thanks wtblife for making me aware of the need of a disclaimer.

[Peace God]

It is impossible to get addicted to weed.
not true...you can get addicted to anything

to OP: i dont know you that well but you dont seem like the type of person to give into peer pressure that easily
however, i still wouldnt go if were you because from your post it seems like you would be extremely uncomfortable

[wtblife]

I mostly agree with your view staying_alive, but you're starting to promote drugs a bit :-\ There are other ways to relieve stress and add the necessary fun besides doing drugs.

Btw I have a friend that has been smoking weed daily for years, wake n bake style, along with his dad that has been smoking that way for 10+ years.

[Amnesiac]

Haha dude the past two weeks? That's nothing. I know people who smoke every day and have for a LONG time, like months approaching years. One person I knew smoked every morning before school in the parking lot. He quit that and now only smokes occasionally, showing how easy it is to come off of weed.

Hey, I don't know shit about weed. :P I just know that my high school in particular has a ton of it.

Your friend that's been smoking for two weeks is just enjoying what he's doing, he'll most likely slow himself down. You're a freshmen in high school, I don't want to belittle your experience but your lack thereof is quite apparent.

Obviously. I don't have a problem with him doing what he's doing. Actually, it's the fact that he has enough money to continuously buy weed that interests me.

When I was a freshman, I was ASTONISHED at what people did. Weed scared me because of the smoke. Alcohol scared me because it was meant for people over 21, NOT teenagers. My school is big on the "great image, great grades, HUGE drug/alcohol consumption to make up for the hard work" mentality, something I got smacked in the face with as a freshman. I started drinking between freshmen and sophomore years and smoking during sophomore year after being so against it. These intros to substances were combinations of peer pressure and my own curiosity. Knowing that everyone does it safely also helped calm me down, because there are many successful people in my school who smoke weed/drink regularly.

I never said there weren't. There's not much peer pressure to do weed at my school — in fact, due to the high religiosity and relatively successful anti-drug programs, I'd say it's possibly the opposite. However, the pretty big chunk of people who actively smoke weed are very convincing... yet, as I said, I still can't do that to myself or my parents.

Maybe you're REALLY good at stress-relief or you don't apply yourself that much. I know I wasn't too high-strung freshman year, so there was little need for an increase in "fun". As sophomore and junior classes upped my stress level, so did my need for fun. I'm a junior now and safely use weed and alcohol, usually on weekends, to make up for my tough weeks.

I'm not stressed. If I were stressed, I know that would just make high school worse. I've pretty much adopted a laid back kind of attitude to school, but not enough to ignore my grades.

As for my actual advice, I think you should go. I don't see any problem with it. If you go and don't smoke, you probably won't have the best time, but it isn't that bad to be sober around high people. It's kind of fun to mess with them actually. And if you do give in to the pressure and do it, why feel bad about it? If you're the kind of upstanding person you seem to be, it shouldn't be a problem. Your parents aren't going to straight up ask you if you've smoked weed, so you don't need to lie to them. It's seriously not a big deal, but I understand that some people handle these things very differently.

Finally, I'll leave you with this. I consider myself above the influence of others' telling me what I should and shouldn't do, instead deciding for myself what is good and bad. AKA anti-drug commercials have no effect on me, because I'd rather experience something for myself and then decide what my stance is on it. I'm a 3.9 student taking an AP/honors curriculum and taking Econ at a university in the spring, and I manage it fine. You should have no problems.

Good luck.

I don't know these guys THAT well, which is probably the main reason I won't go. I just wouldn't feel comfortable with the entire situation. They'd be cool with it, I know they would, they said so themselves. Also, I don't buy into the propaganda the schools and government spew. I won't do weed because I promised my parents and myself, not because I think it's some sort of horrible damaging gateway drug. I certainly don't buy into the state's (Texas's) abstinence propaganda, just to give you another example.

Thanks for the response.

[Sith Lord 13]

Well, I don't think I'll end up going. I promised myself I wouldn't try weed and stuff like that because I'm pretty afraid it'll lead to something worse, and keeping a secret that big from my parents would be too much for me to bare.

Just gonna point out, there is 0 reason doing weed would lead to doing something worse. The only validity to the gateway theory is the fact that the person you buy your weed from may sell tougher stuff. There is nothing about weed that will make you want to do harder stuff.

I would agree with this if we were talking about any drug but weed. There have been multiple study that show coffee is more addicting then weed it. It is impossible to get addicted to weed.

Weed is not PHYSICALLY addicting. It's as psychologically addicting as anything else, ie shopping.

[Amnesiac]

Just gonna point out, there is 0 reason doing weed would lead to doing something worse. The only validity to the gateway theory is the fact that the person you buy your weed from may sell tougher stuff. There is nothing about weed that will make you want to do harder stuff.

I didn't mean in the sense of it being a gateway drug. I'm worried about the effect it could have on my regular life, things like school and my relationships with other people.

[Sith Lord 13]

I didn't mean in the sense of it being a gateway drug. I'm worried about the effect it could have on my regular life, things like school and my relationships with other people.

How so? What kind of effects?

[staying_alive]

I didn't mean in the sense of it being a gateway drug. I'm worried about the effect it could have on my regular life, things like school and my relationships with other people.

I'm with Sith Lord, I want to know specifically what you're worried about. I'm not trying to intimidate you or anything by asking, or patronize you, I simply want to be a source of info for you. I've rarely seen anyone affected that much by weed, and smoking it once to try it definitely won't affect big things like school and relationships. In fact, I'd say I met a lot of cool people and new friends through this activity. IMO smoking weed forces you to expand your relationships and does so in a non-awkward way. For example, I went to a party one time for a different school. I hotboxed a van with several people I had never met and we just chilled and did our thing. Did it affect school or my life in general? Nope. But it sure as hell was a fun time.

[Amnesiac]

How so? What kind of effects?

I'm with Sith Lord, I want to know specifically what you're worried about. I'm not trying to intimidate you or anything by asking, or patronize you, I simply want to be a source of info for you. I've rarely seen anyone affected that much by weed, and smoking it once to try it definitely won't affect big things like school and relationships. In fact, I'd say I met a lot of cool people and new friends through this activity. IMO smoking weed forces you to expand your relationships and does so in a non-awkward way. For example, I went to a party one time for a different school. I hotboxed a van with several people I had never met and we just chilled and did our thing. Did it affect school or my life in general? Nope. But it sure as hell was a fun time.

I just have the lingering fear that if I do it, people will find out. If people find out, I could get in trouble. I'm also afraid that if I decide to start doing it regularly like they do, it could effect my performance in school and how much I pay attention in class/study. I'm not comfortable with the entire thing, which is ironic, because I would happily do some things people could consider just as bad, if not worse.

[Sith Lord 13]

I just have the lingering fear that if I do it, people will find out. If people find out, I could get in trouble. I'm also afraid that if I decide to start doing it regularly like they do, it could effect my performance in school and how much I pay attention in class/study. I'm not comfortable with the entire thing, which is ironic, because I would happily do some things people could consider just as bad, if not worse.

The first can be a valid fear, and is a legitimate reason not to do it. The second, well, doing it once doesn't mean you'll do it more. I wouldn't let that stop you.

Honestly evaluate the chance of other people finding out. If it's not a legitimate risk, take that fear off the table and reevaluate whether you want to do it or not. If you have a firm, well grounded conviction as to why you're not going to do it, you won't do it no matter what the circumstances.

[Amnesiac]

The first can be a valid fear, and is a legitimate reason not to do it. The second, well, doing it once doesn't mean you'll do it more. I wouldn't let that stop you.

Honestly evaluate the chance of other people finding out. If it's not a legitimate risk, take that fear off the table and reevaluate whether you want to do it or not. If you have a firm, well grounded conviction as to why you're not going to do it, you won't do it no matter what the circumstances.

Well, it's already Saturday, and nothing's happened, so I can assume everyone's forgotten about it.

I don't know what the chances of people finding out are, but things go around, and I don't want to take that chance.

[Sith Lord 13]

I don't know what the chances of people finding out are, but things go around, and I don't want to take that chance.

That's a good, well grounded reason not to smoke. Assuming you're friends aren't the type to threaten you if you don't smoke, you should be able to go, be around them, and not smoke without a problem.