mess up

[idk girl]

Hey

Okay so here's the thing, i cut. i've been cutting for a while. i see a therapist (only like 3 times) so im still like getting use to him and everything. im still not completely honest. well things suck at the moment. i hate myself, i hate my parents (they are thinking about divorce but wont talk about it barley). and the other day i was driving and happened to be by myself and bought a pack of razors. well ive used them a couple of times but today has been total crap, and i feel like shit and really want to use them. i have no will power not though!! :( im just a messed up person and shouldn't even be bothering typing this so whatever.

[1_21Guns]

Hey

Okay so here's the thing, i cut. i've been cutting for a while. i see a therapist (only like 3 times) so im still like getting use to him and everything. im still not completely honest.

once you get used to him, it's vital you are truthful, or he can't help you, I know it's hard to open up hun, but you already have one foot in the door on the way out of this by having access to that, you just need to be brave enough to speak up, and I know you are hun.

well things suck at the moment. i hate myself, i hate my parents (they are thinking about divorce but wont talk about it barley). and the other day i was driving and happened to be by myself and bought a pack of razors. well ive used them a couple of times but today has been total crap, and i feel like shit and really want to use them.

Hun, all I can say, is no matter how many times you use those razors, the reason won't go away, you're hurting yourself, and it's not helping anyone. Yeah, it feels great, it feels like everything just fades away, but it doesn't, and then you're just left with scars to forever remind you of this time in your life.

i have no will power not though!! :( im just a messed up person and shouldn't even be bothering typing this so whatever.

you had enough will power to post this, that's enough to stop, you know it's wrong, and I promise you, you don't need it hun, you just need to take that step forward and decide to stop when you're ready.

You're certainly not a messed up person, you've just seen your rough days, and the fact you are bothering to type it, shows something.

You seem to want change, so allow yourself to change. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it in the end.

stay strong hun, PM me if you ever need someone to talk to :hug3:

[Haven]

It's hard to be completely open and honest with someone you barely even know yet, but there's going to have to be a point that you get to where you trust him to hold your secrets and help you. As 1_21Guns said, he is virtually useless if you don't bother to open up completely with him. Sometimes we have to let our guards down with people, and as much as it sounds scary to do, in the end it'll pay off. No one is saying you have to blurt every part of your life out to him just yet, but you're going to have to be willing to tell him the truth so that he is capable of helping you. He's your therapist, and he's not going to sit there and judge you based off your life. His prime objective is to aid you and make sure that you're okay, and overall come to a consensus on how to make you feel better. Don't be afraid, really. He's only there to help you, and he can't possibly do that if you're not telling him exactly everything that's wrong.

When it comes to family problems and self-hatred problems, I totally understand where you're coming from. My parents fight nearly every night, but refuse to get a divorce because they don't want to tear our family apart. But ultimately? Life would be better knowing that they weren't fighting anymore and they were happy. I know it's hard to understand, but would you rather your parents stick together when they're both so unhappy with where they are now? Sometimes things are better to come to a conclusion, then for them to continue being an open story. And who knows, maybe sometime along the line things could spark up, but for now, don't be upset with your parents because they're unhappy. Just try to realize that they're trying to figure out what's best for them, and eventually what will be best for you in the end.

As for the razors, I really can't word it in a better way than 1_21Guns said. The feelings are only momentarily going to subside, but all in all what's causing the pain is still going to be there. The razors are only a temporary diminish to the problems consuming our lives, and eventually you're going to have to face these issues head on. <3 Life can be a tough obstacle, but when we take apart every little detail comprising of it and tackle them individually, things become so much easier. Don't feel like you have to face life alone, especially when there's always someone there for you to talk to. If not in real life, then definitely on here or on other websites.

The thing is you do have the willpower to make it through, and I for one am glad that you typed this because it shows that you're strong enough and determined enough to try and come to some sort of resolution to the problems you're facing. Be proud of yourself for who you are, what you've dealt with, and most of all who you will be when all of this is over. Life's difficult, and you're not a terrible, messed up person for trying to reach out for help. <3 Heck, if every person who did that was messed up, what would that say for the general public? :P

I really do wish you a ton of luck, and never be afraid to stop by and ask for help alright?

-Wayne