sisters friend..

[KodieBear]

well my sisters friend/boyfriend (we dont really know whether theyre dating but we all think they are), we'll call him Matt, has been living with us for the past year or so in our basement thats been converted to an apartment and the other day i found some really...disturbing things. I've known this guy for a long time and he's one of those people that just brightens everyones day, ya know? He has never shown any sign of being bisexual but i know for a fact he is. Unfortunately, i'm the only one that knows it. Normally i wouldnt care but i've seen him and my sister kiss before, so im pretty dang sure theyre dating.

Well, i guess i should get to the point. The other day i found gay porn in his room. Today when he and my sister went to hang out i decided to find some more proof that he's gay. I found 3 gay chatrooms/clubs and one porn website that he has subscriptions to. Upon further snooping around i found condoms and lube. Also, when they came back Matt had a "guy friend" with them. Soon after they left to go to the local haunted house.

Me being me i went searching again. Matt's "friend" left his phone at the house to charge. The first thing i saw was a naked picture of Matt set as his wallpaper. Obviously, after something like that, you know there's something going on. SO, i read his texts between him and Matt. All it was was things like "i cant wait to see you!, I cant wait till you get here!," and things like "were gonna have fun tonight ;)" As well as picture after picture of each others p***s's. Then in his friend's bag i found more lube and condoms as well as an extra set of clothes.

I dont know what to do. Should i tell my parents? Should i tell my sister?
Ugh this is driving me insane. Please help!

To the moderaters: if you need to move this, sorry. im not sure where it goes :P

Thank you for reading.

[yojo]

you should defiantly tell your sister, but you will have to show proof so she doesent think that your just joking around. it might also be a good idea to tell either your mum or your dad that you think he is gay, then take it from there...

[Ender]

Why are you snooping in the guys stuff? You had no right to do so...

[CaptainObvious]

Wait, seriously? Should you out some guy because you found out he was having sex? Ummm... obviously not? Now, if he's definitely dating your sister and she doesn't know anything, that's grounds to at least talk to him and then possibly her, if necessary. But since you don't even know (have you even asked her what precisely the deal is?), how can you even be considering outing this guy? You don't know the situation, why would you tell someone before talking to him?

Not to mention that the snooping in the first place is as bad as or worse than anything he's done, even if he's cheating on your sister. Just imo. Don't do that any more.

[Ender]

Why are you snooping in the guys stuff? You had no right to do so...

Wait, seriously? Should you out some guy because you found out he was having sex? Ummm... obviously not? Now, if he's definitely dating your sister and she doesn't know anything, that's grounds to at least talk to him and then possibly her, if necessary. But since you don't even know (have you even asked her what precisely the deal is?), how can you even be considering outing this guy? You don't know the situation, why would you tell someone before talking to him?

Not to mention that the snooping in the first place is as bad as or worse than anything he's done, even if he's cheating on your sister. Just imo. Don't do that any more.

This. Would you want people all over your relationships and sex life? I dont think so, so unless you are 100% sure, you have no reason to out the guy.

[DrkZ90]

Do NOT tell anyone, that's quite rude of you.

First, you have no right to snoop around on his stuff, it's private.
Second, you have no right to out him to anyone, that's up to him to decide
Third, what are your motivations for potentially ruining the guy's life? you don't know how other people will react to him being gay or whatever, so you shouldn't out him.

[KodieBear]

god. hateful much? i snooped around once. sue me. i needed help and ONE of you gave it to me. thanks a lot jerks.

Why are you snooping in the guys stuff? You had no right to do so...

im pretty sure if your sister boyfriend were dating you would be pretty pissed he was cheating on her.

Wait, seriously? Should you out some guy because you found out he was having sex? Ummm... obviously not? Now, if he's definitely dating your sister and she doesn't know anything, that's grounds to at least talk to him and then possibly her, if necessary. But since you don't even know (have you even asked her what precisely the deal is?), how can you even be considering outing this guy? You don't know the situation, why would you tell someone before talking to him?

Not to mention that the snooping in the first place is as bad as or worse than anything he's done, even if he's cheating on your sister. Just imo. Don't do that any more.

same as what i told him ^^^ and i just asked her. they are dating.

Do NOT tell anyone, that's quite rude of you.

First, you have no right to snoop around on his stuff, it's private.
Second, you have no right to out him to anyone, that's up to him to decide
Third, what are your motivations for potentially ruining the guy's life? you don't know how other people will react to him being gay or whatever, so you shouldn't out him.

who said i am ruining the guys life. if you were in the same situation im sure would be pretty pissed. my parents already hate him because 1)he refuses to tell them whether or not they are dating 2)he doesnt pay rent and 3) hes an ass.

Don't double post, use the edit button - Kaius

[CaptainObvious]

god. hateful much? i snooped around once. sue me. i needed help and ONE of you gave it to me. thanks a lot jerks.

Don't be snappy just because you don't like the advice. Snooping is a violation of privacy, don't do it. Simple as that, really.

im pretty sure if your sister boyfriend were dating you would be pretty pissed he was cheating on her.

Yes, and:

same as what i told him ^^^ and i just asked her. they are dating.

Since you've confirmed that, confront him. Or tell her, your choice, I'd personally confront him first.

[Ender]

Now that it's confirmed...

Personally, I would confront him first, and tell him your sisters really sweet and you care about her. And that all you want is the best for her. Tell him if he cant provide loyalty to her, then he needs to just be straight up and tell her whats going on, and decide on who he really want to be with. Give him a bit of time, if nothing happens after awhile, then i'd bring it up with the sister.

[Theatheist of doom]

For me i'd make it like one of those conclusion scenes in crime shows where the detective guy is like THIS GUY KILLED THAT PERSON BECAUSE ...... and the proof is ..... etc.