nachtspiegel
October 28th, 2010, 10:46 PM
Eight months ago, my sister died, and eight days ago, the guy who was one of my best friends and more of a brother to me than either of my brothers ever have been, followed her. She died as a result of medical negligence and he died as a result of a genetic condition that nobody knew he had until it killed him.
Now I'm wondering exactly how to carry on with my life now that theirs are over. The three of us used to be like the Three Musketeers. You rarely ever found one of us without the other two.
After she died, him and I understood each other better than anybody because we were both there through her surgeries and her hospitalizations. I couldn't see him in the hospital because he was on isolation. Tons of other people snuck in, anyway, but I knew from my sister being in isolation that that's something you don't do... but now I'm envious because they got to see him before he died and I didn't.
Without hesitation, they were my best friends and they knew me better than anybody else could hope to. I used to think I knew what despair was, but none of that has absolutely anything on this. I just want to throw up my hands and quit. I'm not a crier, but I've probably cried more in the last week than in the rest of the last eighteen years.
For anyone here that's been through it, is there anything that helps? I'm desperate and I feel like I'm at the very end of my rope.
Now I'm wondering exactly how to carry on with my life now that theirs are over. The three of us used to be like the Three Musketeers. You rarely ever found one of us without the other two.
After she died, him and I understood each other better than anybody because we were both there through her surgeries and her hospitalizations. I couldn't see him in the hospital because he was on isolation. Tons of other people snuck in, anyway, but I knew from my sister being in isolation that that's something you don't do... but now I'm envious because they got to see him before he died and I didn't.
Without hesitation, they were my best friends and they knew me better than anybody else could hope to. I used to think I knew what despair was, but none of that has absolutely anything on this. I just want to throw up my hands and quit. I'm not a crier, but I've probably cried more in the last week than in the rest of the last eighteen years.
For anyone here that's been through it, is there anything that helps? I'm desperate and I feel like I'm at the very end of my rope.