Friend...

[Apparitions]

OK, so I think that one of my friends is gay and attracted to me. Before I say anything else, let me make it clear that I have no problem whatsoever with gay people, just in case it needed clearing up. Anyway, all the time he is trying to dry hump me. I know that lots of people do this in a joke way but it has just happening so much that I'm getting kind of suspicious of him. He'll do it in public, anywhere and I have to almost punch him or something to get him away. Also, he always asks me quite private questions that I wouldn't have a problem with normally but he keeps on asking them, such as 'how big is my dick' and 'how long are my pubes' and 'do I shave them' etc. Again, he does it so much that I'm getting suspicious of why he wants to know so much. Even my best friend who also knows him asked me if I think he is gay, so it's not just me who notices these things. Oh, one time while I was distracted he shoved his hand down my trousers and grabbed my balls (he didn't get his hand inside my boxers). That's when I really wondered if he is gay.

Anyway, how do I ask him if he is gay and attracted to me? I could end up completely wrong and damaging our relationship as friends, which I'm worried of doing. If he did come out to me, I'd have no problem with this but I just want him to tell me if he is or not so if he is I can make it clear that I'm not attracted to him. Don't get me wrong, I'm not exactly 100% straight myself. Like I said on the 'Dirty Little Secrets' thread, sometimes I think I'm bi and sometimes I feel almost completely straight.

Thanks in advance for any help. I probably should have paragraphed all that a bit better but I can't be bothered ATM so whatever.

[The Dark Lord]

Its a difficult one because at 15 you'd imagine he's over that sort of curious about puberty and pubes stage, but at the same his behaviour suggests curiousity. With regards to finding out whether he is gay or not, it depends how strong your friendship. If you were really close friends, then surely he would have told you? but otherwise maybe he is shy and worried about your reaction. I've got a friend that dry humps people and shows off his dick in public, but he's not gay. Tbh I would start probing the subject, like ask questions like "Do you think being gay is okay?" (I'm not homophobic) and does he think anyone he knows is gay?, then eventually build up to asking him whether he is gay. If his behaviour is really annoying you and you want him to stop, just tell him to fuck off, but if you think he actually is gay and likes you then you'd best handle it the way I suggested, imo.

[Fact]

Its a difficult one because at 15 you'd imagine he's over that sort of curious about puberty and pubes stage, but at the same his behaviour suggests curiousity. With regards to finding out whether he is gay or not, it depends how strong your friendship. If you were really close friends, then surely he would have told you? but otherwise maybe he is shy and worried about your reaction. I've got a friend that dry humps people and shows off his dick in public, but he's not gay. Tbh I would start probing the subject, like ask questions like "Do you think being gay is okay?" (I'm not homophobic) and does he think anyone he knows is gay?, then eventually build up to asking him whether he is gay. If his behaviour is really annoying you and you want him to stop, just tell him to fuck off, but if you think he actually is gay and likes you then you'd best handle it the way I suggested, imo.

I kinda disagree with some of this, not totally but somewhat.

Firstly, I don't think that by age 15 people are over being curious about puberty - changes are still happening for majority of people, as well as hormones continuing to go crazy.
Secondly, I don't think there's anything wrong with just asking your friend. Find somewhere you can talk and just ask him. Handle this delicately, though. You don't want to offend/accuse - that won't help the situation.

Hope this helps :]

[Apparitions]

I would rep both of you but apparently I'm not allowed. Anyway, I'm not best friends with him but I guess we're kind of close. Even if we were really close, I doubt he'd straight up tell me as I go to a Catholic school and even though he knows I'm Atheist, I guess he's scared I'm homophobic and would react badly and tell people (which I wouldn't. I'm better at keeping secrets than people think.). How do I show him that's OK to tell me without making it too obvious that I'm expecting him to tell me? This is quite a difficult situation as I really don't want to ruin our relationship but I just want him to honestly tell me if he is or not. At school we don't really have many opportunities where we can be alone and I can ask him. If I suddenly did asked him, he might deny it even if he is gay because of him being scared to come out. I don't know how I can make it easier for him to just say it.

[Fact]

Try to meet him somewhere outside of school?
Not necessarily alone, but a place that you're both comfortable talking in?
I'd approach him by communicating that you're not accusing or putting a negative spin on it. Maybe just be having a normal conversation and then built your topic into it - let him know that it's okay for him to tell you (if he gay). If he says he's not, just explain why you thought so to avoid further confusion.

Hope this helps :]

[Apparitions]

Try to meet him somewhere outside of school?
Not necessarily alone, but a place that you're both comfortable talking in?
I'd approach him by communicating that you're not accusing or putting a negative spin on it. Maybe just be having a normal conversation and then built your topic into it - let him know that it's okay for him to tell you (if he gay). If he says he's not, just explain why you thought so to avoid further confusion.

Hope this helps :]
That makes sense. I guess I could try and meet him sometime, although I'd have to think of an excuse as we don't usually see each other much outside of school. If I did build it up and eventually ask him, I'm 90% sure he'd come out (I have a good gaydar usually...). I would hope that if I was wrong (which I doubt) that he would be cool about it.

Thanks for the help :).

[Fact]

You're welcome.
& I'm sure if you do ask him politely and with as much sensitivity as possible, all will be fine after, regardless of the answer to your question :D

[LoginLeo]

Try to meet him somewhere outside of school?
Not necessarily alone, but a place that you're both comfortable talking in?
I'd approach him by communicating that you're not accusing or putting a negative spin on it. Maybe just be having a normal conversation and then built your topic into it - let him know that it's okay for him to tell you (if he gay). If he says he's not, just explain why you thought so to avoid further confusion.

Hope this helps :]

That's what i wanted to write as well :P