What Should I Do?

[IMonfire]

Well, I don't know how to start this. LOL

Okay, I am BI and I want to come out and tell my parents and friends about the real me. But my problem is, my whole family HATES gays and bisexuals. When I was a kid, I hear them saying that they will kick us out of the family if we are gays/ bi's. My dad will go ballistic if he found out that I'm not straight.

Another problem is my friends because they hate gays and bisexuals too. Every time they spot a gay, they will laugh and tease him. They said that gays are not good and they are immorals and shouldn't be befriended of. :(

And lastly, I live in a country where gays and bisexuals are not really acceptable. And my religion doesn't allow their members to be gays and bisexuals.

What should I do? It's really hard for me to come out. I think I should just come out once I finish college and go to a country like US and England where people like me are acceptable and treated equally.

Hope you can help me. Thanks.:)

[Christiaan]

Jonathan mate,

I fully sympathize with yer situation, and yer not alone, there are lots of lads in the position.

The basic question I would ask is what's the purpose for ya to shoot yerself in the foot? Everyone's sexual preference is most often their most deely held secret. It's meant to be kept private unless there's a purpose to be won or goal to be gained. But there's no glory o in kicking yerself in the stones at 18.

Listen to Murphy's first law... "don't mess with Mrs. Murphy," cos after you've gone mucking about with coming out, yer gonna have to live with the result.

Yer not gonna change yer 'rent's minds, yer not gonna better yer lot, ya won't find wide acceptance where ya are, there's nothuing to be gained lad. Don't start a fight unless there's something to win.

If yer in a position to move and be self-supporting then lay yer plans and go. I think Europe, on ther whole, is a bit more accepting than America, or ya might consider Canada, t'is a grand country.

[NitoJuanito]

well while your idea is great about leaving college and evrything, but in the US theres a lot of hate towards gays and bis, bot all, but mostly. a lot of states banned gay marriage. im bi as well and live in the US. i KNO what im tlking about

[IMonfire]

Thanks guys!!
I really appreciate your advice.
Cheers. :)

[kaen019]

well while your idea is great about leaving college and evrything, but in the US theres a lot of hate towards gays and bis, bot all, but mostly. a lot of states banned gay marriage. im bi as well and live in the US. i KNO what im tlking about

well ya, Nito what u r warning Jonathan that bi & gays in the US is correct - BUT i think it should b pointed out that u r proly referring to "not all, but mostly" there is hate towards gays/bis where u live....in ARKANSAS. ya, u see, ARKANSAS is about as damn hill-billy red-neck ass-backwards of all US States chocked full of po-dunk countryfolk that pat themselves on the back for still living like it's 1850 or something.

Is there hate? Yes, the entire globe is replete with all kinds of it directed at all sorts of different ppl. Bi/gay hate exists in the US, EU, UK, AUS, CAN, etc...its unfortunately a human flaw inherent to the species.
But in ever large modern population center in the US, UK, EU, Can, etc Bi/Gay ppl are fully accepted and included/embraced in society. But a few will always resist it inevitably. Yes gay marriages are not sanctioned in a lot of states (*note they are not ILLEGAL anywhere in the US, rather they simply are unrecognized officially), but there are a good number of states that include the largest cities & biggest lgbt communities where they are offical unions. But note Jonathan seeks only a place where he can be free to conduct his own life as he wishes - free from angry friends/family/loved ones who r usually the worst inflictors of hateful emotions impacting bi & gays.
Our countries in N. America & Europe are largely accepting of all, some more than others, but each is GROWNING UP & LEARNING & UNDERSTANDING is replacing FEAR & INTOLERANCE everywhere in them....even Arkansas - though Im sure it will reach that goal the slowest. But that is why the US is comprised of Individual States, so that each chooses their own paths towards the future - and are able to do so without coersion from a distant federal Capitol disassociated with local citizenry.

Jonathan - you r an immensely strong & brave guy. Your struggles, the despair that clouds you seeing any clear path ahead also prevents you from seeing how much an Inspiration you are! Your courage & fortitude is affecting the lives of so many of us. Know always, that you have positively affected the lives of untold #'s of people - not to mention the unknown # of lives you saved when your bravery helped shine a light of hope into the darkness they suffered under.

Bravo, friend. A better day is ahead, you have ensured that blessed day will come. :D

[NitoJuanito]

okay listen as much as i hate arkansas, that isnt true, im hispanic, almost my whole county is hispanic but you never hear gays or bis saying that everywhere in arkansas is hillbilly, yes i do partially come from a family that have been raised on a farm but they not hillbillys that sleep with their cuzin, and if you came to my city you would notice that most ppl are not hillbilly there *ready 1,2,3* MEXICAN!! :P but we're not here to criticize >:) we're here to help and no not all of US is against gays theres a pretty good size that are for and support it