DrkZ90
October 23rd, 2010, 11:05 PM
Sorry if the post ends up being either too long and overdetailed, or too short with little to no detail. I just hope he doesn't read this, or if he does, that he would reply.
I was on an online relationship with an awesome guy, but then a month or so ago something happened to him... he didn't tell me much about what was going on, and simply stopped talking to me... the last time he actually replied and had a normal conversation was exactly 30 days ago.
Yesterday he got online. As always, I tried to say hi to him and talk to him, but he wouldn't reply. I begged him to tell me what was wrong, and eventually he replied with the worst possible words.
He said he couldn't talk to me any more, that it was better for me that way, and that I shouldn't blame myself for it.
Just that. I tried to ask him what had exactly happened, why he was telling me this, but he didn't say anything else. That happened yesterday night and I've been taking it quite badly, considerably worse than I could've ever thought. I just don't know what to do, a couple of months ago, when he started talking to me, he actually stopped me from killing myself, and being with him was the only thing that really kept me going on and now I just don't know what to do with myself. I spent all day doing close to nothing, just thinking how I managed to fuck up the best thing to ever happen in my life, and what to do now.
I don't know how to cope with this, I feel stupid for taking this so badly, and feel even more stupid for the kind of urges I'm getting... I spent all day with this hopeless feeling, and thinking about coming out to everyone once and for all and let the hell that I know that will create break loose, to finish fucking everything up because, in the end, what's the point any more? I might be telling this guy I know this Monday, I doubt he will take it good, in fact, the things we've said and done before will mean a different thing for him once he knows this, but I can't stop myself from feeling like I must do it, since I no longer have anything to look forward to.
Sorry if it is confusing, it doesn't make much sense to me either. Feel free to move this if you want, idk.
TL;DR
-bf broke up with me in a bad, "we can no longer talk" way and took it quite badly
-feel urge to come out to a guy "friend" I'm seeing this monday.
I was on an online relationship with an awesome guy, but then a month or so ago something happened to him... he didn't tell me much about what was going on, and simply stopped talking to me... the last time he actually replied and had a normal conversation was exactly 30 days ago.
Yesterday he got online. As always, I tried to say hi to him and talk to him, but he wouldn't reply. I begged him to tell me what was wrong, and eventually he replied with the worst possible words.
He said he couldn't talk to me any more, that it was better for me that way, and that I shouldn't blame myself for it.
Just that. I tried to ask him what had exactly happened, why he was telling me this, but he didn't say anything else. That happened yesterday night and I've been taking it quite badly, considerably worse than I could've ever thought. I just don't know what to do, a couple of months ago, when he started talking to me, he actually stopped me from killing myself, and being with him was the only thing that really kept me going on and now I just don't know what to do with myself. I spent all day doing close to nothing, just thinking how I managed to fuck up the best thing to ever happen in my life, and what to do now.
I don't know how to cope with this, I feel stupid for taking this so badly, and feel even more stupid for the kind of urges I'm getting... I spent all day with this hopeless feeling, and thinking about coming out to everyone once and for all and let the hell that I know that will create break loose, to finish fucking everything up because, in the end, what's the point any more? I might be telling this guy I know this Monday, I doubt he will take it good, in fact, the things we've said and done before will mean a different thing for him once he knows this, but I can't stop myself from feeling like I must do it, since I no longer have anything to look forward to.
Sorry if it is confusing, it doesn't make much sense to me either. Feel free to move this if you want, idk.
TL;DR
-bf broke up with me in a bad, "we can no longer talk" way and took it quite badly
-feel urge to come out to a guy "friend" I'm seeing this monday.