The Madman
October 22nd, 2010, 01:56 PM
So I wrote this story for my english class, for homework.
Anyway let me know what you guys think of it.
P.S - This tale is about suicide, please don't read it unless you are sure, it doesn't have a happy ending.
The words in italics without "" marks is thoughts inside his head
The Outcast
Parents will always love you even if you don't love them.
But don't think just because you love them you can get away with abuse.
I learned that the hard way.
Don't follow my footsteps.
I miss my parents.
I'm Sorry.
But like I said.
Sorry doesn't turn back time.
“No!” I shout, “ GO AWAY!”, I slam my door for what seems like the 100th time today. I'm arguing with my mum again. We just don't get on very well, rather – at all, these days. I'm always in my room, just an attempt to stay away from her. I guess it all started when my dad died... I guess it was about a year ago now. He died in a car crash on the way home from work. The collision was fatal and death was instant, he never felt a thing. He was 60 when he left us. Mum was 59.
I was always closer with my dad than my mum. Don't get me wrong, I still love my mum but not in the same way I did when I was a child. We have grown apart over the years. It seems that... everything she does just annoys the hell out of me. I try to ignore her but it just gets to me in a way I can't explain.
Anyway, here I have been telling you my problems and you know nothing about me. Let me start over. My name is Connor John Kennedy to be precise. I am 18 years old and I was born on the 17th of July in the year 1992. Both my eyes and hair are brown and I am 6ft tall.
I wake up from my deep sleep and sleepily climb from my bed. I trudge at a pace almost as slow as a snail towards the bathroom. I climb into the shower and turn it on. I gasp as the cold water hits but it soon turns to warm. I always start my showers cold, instead of waiting for it to heat it, because it wakes me up and I can concentrate better rather than just standing staring at the wall for half an hour. After 10 minutes I wash myself which takes another five minutes. Then another five minutes go by and I step out the shower onto my dry red towel. I towel myself dry then walk back into my bed. I feel rejuvenated and quickly dress. Then I walk downstairs and pour myself a bowl of cornflakes in the kitchen. I sit at the table and spoon them into my mouth while reading my book ; “The Thin Executioner” by Darren Shan. It tells the tale of Jebel Rum and his quest to become the local executioner after his father leaves the post. As he is not strong enough he goings on a quest to become invincible. He endures many hardships and trials but eventually he succeeds at the price of his best friend's life. He goes back to his village, wins the competition and becomes the village executioner, but he cannot execute the wrongdoer after all he has seen in the world.
My type of book. I love adventure books with blood and gore in them. After I have finished my bowl of cereal I stick a blank square of paper in the page I’m at and shut the book. As I go through the door into the kitchen I am face to face with my mother. She looks at me and I mumble an apology and try to slide past her. She doesn't even move. She looks at me pointedly and I eventually say “Excuse me”. She still won't move.
“Excuse. Me. Please.” I say to her through clenched teeth.
“Much better” she says to me and steps aside to let me pass.
Why won't she just leave me alone. What have I done to annoy her, I only got up an hour ago. What could I possibly have done in an hour to irritate her.
I walk through the kitchen and up the stairs with my fists clenched. I am trying to hide my anger but not very well. I manage to get to my room and I start thumping my bed in frustration.
“Connor! Stop that racket immediately!” A voice yells up the stairs.
OH MY GOD! Will that woman give me a break for ONE SECOND? Who am I actually hurting doing this? Nobody!
I'm very sorry that the noise hurts your 'super sensitive' ears mother! Please forgive me. Yeah right!
I turn on my television, lie on my bed and start to watch 'Top Gear', it's my favourite TV programme by far. I love the cars and racing, I wish I knew who The Stig was though. The volume is at 20, yet after 10 minutes I hear The Voice again.
“Connor. John. Kennedy. Get down here now!”
Oh great, here we go again!
I clomp down the stairs to annoy her further, not the smartest idea I have ever had then again, I could have not came down at all. That would mean her coming up into my room which I do not want her doing. It is almost spotlessly clean but she would find a fault with something.
“Connor, this is the last straw, I have had it up to here with you”, she raises her hand flat above her head, “I want you to pack your bags, you're leaving”
OK I wasn't expecting that.
“What?” I reply.
“You heard me perfectly Connor, I want you out” she replies back to me.
“Why?” I ask? She looks at me with a downright nasty expression.
Wrong question Connor! Good one genius...
I stand there for what seems like hours while she rattles on about the stuff that I do to annoy her.
“So I want you out by the end of the week” She finishes.
“Fine, in fact, why stick around with you one more day, I will be out of here in an hour” I tell her nastily.
That stops her in her tracks. She looks at me and tells me that:
“ You don't have to go for another few days”
“ Why would I stick around in a place that I have hated for years?” I reply. I don't even wait for an answer, I stomp upstairs and wrench my hold-all out of my cupboard. Angrily I start stuffing things into it ; my underwear and socks, clean t-shirts and trousers, my iPod , my picture of my Dad and I taken just shortly before he passed away. Then I pick up my mobile phone and call the person I trusted most in the world : My Grandmother.
Please pick up. Please pick up. Please pick up. Please. Please.
On the seventh and last ring a voice answers “ Hello?”
“ Thank god Gran. I need help. My mum is kicking me out and you're the only person I can turn to. Can I stay with you for a while please?” I ask almost whining.
“Well of course Connor, I would like that a lot” She replies, I could almost see her lips turning up in a smile.
“I will be over in an hour, Love you Gran. Bye.”
“Goodbye Connor, see you soon”
Thank heavens I’m allowed to stay with her. I don't know what I would have done if she had said no.
I shut my bedroom door for the last time and walk downstairs.
I go into the living room and say 4 words to my mum.
“ I'm leaving now. Goodbye”
As I head towards the door she catches my arm and turns me around, there are tears in her eyes as
“ I didn't mean it Connor, I was upset, I don't want you to go. I'm sorry, please don't go. I can't live here all alone.”
I also definitely wasn't expecting that. But its too late now.
The damage has been done, the final blow was dealt, the blood is shed.
“Sorry Mum. It's too late for sorry. Sorry doesn't turn back time.”
Her arm drops from mine she sits back down onto the couch.
Tears spill down her face and my eyes start to sting as well.
I look at her one last time before I walk out the door.
That was so cruel. I can't believe I just did that to her. I should go back and apologise. No. I can't do that. She will hate me forever. Just do what you were going to do. Go to Grans and stay for a while at least.
One hour later I was sitting drinking a cup of tea next to my grandmother. I was telling her was happened and she didn't interrupt me. Towards the end my voice starts to break but I keep going till the very end.
“Connor, I can't say I approve of how you treated my daughter-in-law but if you believe it was for the best then I won't argue with you” Gran says.
“...Thanks...I'm going to bed if that’s OK?” I say in a low voice.
“ Go on then Connor, I'm always here if you need me” She tells me.
“ I know...”I stand up and walk through to the spare room.
One Week Later
I walk up the house that I left one week ago and chap on the door. There is no answer and I chap again. After a few minutes I let myself in. The door is unlocked which is strange as Mum never leaves the door unlocked.
This is odd.... Something is wrong, this door is NEVER unlocked.
I quickly check from room to room, finding nothing I head upstairs, scanning my bedroom and the bathroom first.
Then slowly I open the door to my mothers room.
My gaze falls upon a figure under a blanket. Slowly I pull back the covers to reveal my mother lying on her back, staring up at the ceiling. One thing was missing.
Her brown eyes, the eyes that matched mine perfectly were blank. All of the colour, spirit and emotion she used to show was missing.
My Mother Was Dead.
I look to the table at the side of her bed to see a tub of pills and a glass of water. My gaze draws back to her face and I scan once more for life. There was none, I look down to see an envelope. I slowly ease it out of her hands.
It has one word written on it.
“Connor”
Dear Connor,
If you are reading this then I am no longer with you.
I know this is sudden but I just can't deal with my life any more. I'm so sorry for this and for the trouble that is about to come. I feel that my life has finished and nothing useful can come from my life now, after your father died I was barely able to cope but what happened last week has confirmed my fears. We have been growing apart for the last year or so, its only because I was grieving as you were, that's why I told you to leave. I never meant it. Your father was the only person who ever made me feel complete, now he is gone I feel once more like I have no place in the world.
When I was a child I was always bullied. Things got worse when I was growing up. I never fit into anywhere. I was always made to feel like an outcast, and the people who hurt me never let me forget that even for a moment.
Anyway, I hope you continue your life and live it to the best it can be. I don't hate you, I love you so much Connor. I know you love me too so please don't worry or feel guilty. I always have known you loved me. I have to go now.
I love you my darling, I will never forget you.
Your Mum
I only realise that I am crying when I notice a tear falling onto the paper. The next few hours pass in a blur. I call my Gran and tell her to come over. She sorts everything out while I go and lie down in my bedroom. One thing my Mum said to me kept sticking out.
'I was always made to feel like an outcast'
She never told me anything. I don't even know if Dad knew. She always kept it hidden inside her.
One thing is clear to me now. One thing I have always known. I wish I had told her this. I never had the chance and now I never will.
I should have told her she wasn't an outcast and that she never will be.
Mum.
Wherever you are.
I Love You.
By Adam
Anyway let me know what you guys think of it.
P.S - This tale is about suicide, please don't read it unless you are sure, it doesn't have a happy ending.
The words in italics without "" marks is thoughts inside his head
The Outcast
Parents will always love you even if you don't love them.
But don't think just because you love them you can get away with abuse.
I learned that the hard way.
Don't follow my footsteps.
I miss my parents.
I'm Sorry.
But like I said.
Sorry doesn't turn back time.
“No!” I shout, “ GO AWAY!”, I slam my door for what seems like the 100th time today. I'm arguing with my mum again. We just don't get on very well, rather – at all, these days. I'm always in my room, just an attempt to stay away from her. I guess it all started when my dad died... I guess it was about a year ago now. He died in a car crash on the way home from work. The collision was fatal and death was instant, he never felt a thing. He was 60 when he left us. Mum was 59.
I was always closer with my dad than my mum. Don't get me wrong, I still love my mum but not in the same way I did when I was a child. We have grown apart over the years. It seems that... everything she does just annoys the hell out of me. I try to ignore her but it just gets to me in a way I can't explain.
Anyway, here I have been telling you my problems and you know nothing about me. Let me start over. My name is Connor John Kennedy to be precise. I am 18 years old and I was born on the 17th of July in the year 1992. Both my eyes and hair are brown and I am 6ft tall.
I wake up from my deep sleep and sleepily climb from my bed. I trudge at a pace almost as slow as a snail towards the bathroom. I climb into the shower and turn it on. I gasp as the cold water hits but it soon turns to warm. I always start my showers cold, instead of waiting for it to heat it, because it wakes me up and I can concentrate better rather than just standing staring at the wall for half an hour. After 10 minutes I wash myself which takes another five minutes. Then another five minutes go by and I step out the shower onto my dry red towel. I towel myself dry then walk back into my bed. I feel rejuvenated and quickly dress. Then I walk downstairs and pour myself a bowl of cornflakes in the kitchen. I sit at the table and spoon them into my mouth while reading my book ; “The Thin Executioner” by Darren Shan. It tells the tale of Jebel Rum and his quest to become the local executioner after his father leaves the post. As he is not strong enough he goings on a quest to become invincible. He endures many hardships and trials but eventually he succeeds at the price of his best friend's life. He goes back to his village, wins the competition and becomes the village executioner, but he cannot execute the wrongdoer after all he has seen in the world.
My type of book. I love adventure books with blood and gore in them. After I have finished my bowl of cereal I stick a blank square of paper in the page I’m at and shut the book. As I go through the door into the kitchen I am face to face with my mother. She looks at me and I mumble an apology and try to slide past her. She doesn't even move. She looks at me pointedly and I eventually say “Excuse me”. She still won't move.
“Excuse. Me. Please.” I say to her through clenched teeth.
“Much better” she says to me and steps aside to let me pass.
Why won't she just leave me alone. What have I done to annoy her, I only got up an hour ago. What could I possibly have done in an hour to irritate her.
I walk through the kitchen and up the stairs with my fists clenched. I am trying to hide my anger but not very well. I manage to get to my room and I start thumping my bed in frustration.
“Connor! Stop that racket immediately!” A voice yells up the stairs.
OH MY GOD! Will that woman give me a break for ONE SECOND? Who am I actually hurting doing this? Nobody!
I'm very sorry that the noise hurts your 'super sensitive' ears mother! Please forgive me. Yeah right!
I turn on my television, lie on my bed and start to watch 'Top Gear', it's my favourite TV programme by far. I love the cars and racing, I wish I knew who The Stig was though. The volume is at 20, yet after 10 minutes I hear The Voice again.
“Connor. John. Kennedy. Get down here now!”
Oh great, here we go again!
I clomp down the stairs to annoy her further, not the smartest idea I have ever had then again, I could have not came down at all. That would mean her coming up into my room which I do not want her doing. It is almost spotlessly clean but she would find a fault with something.
“Connor, this is the last straw, I have had it up to here with you”, she raises her hand flat above her head, “I want you to pack your bags, you're leaving”
OK I wasn't expecting that.
“What?” I reply.
“You heard me perfectly Connor, I want you out” she replies back to me.
“Why?” I ask? She looks at me with a downright nasty expression.
Wrong question Connor! Good one genius...
I stand there for what seems like hours while she rattles on about the stuff that I do to annoy her.
“So I want you out by the end of the week” She finishes.
“Fine, in fact, why stick around with you one more day, I will be out of here in an hour” I tell her nastily.
That stops her in her tracks. She looks at me and tells me that:
“ You don't have to go for another few days”
“ Why would I stick around in a place that I have hated for years?” I reply. I don't even wait for an answer, I stomp upstairs and wrench my hold-all out of my cupboard. Angrily I start stuffing things into it ; my underwear and socks, clean t-shirts and trousers, my iPod , my picture of my Dad and I taken just shortly before he passed away. Then I pick up my mobile phone and call the person I trusted most in the world : My Grandmother.
Please pick up. Please pick up. Please pick up. Please. Please.
On the seventh and last ring a voice answers “ Hello?”
“ Thank god Gran. I need help. My mum is kicking me out and you're the only person I can turn to. Can I stay with you for a while please?” I ask almost whining.
“Well of course Connor, I would like that a lot” She replies, I could almost see her lips turning up in a smile.
“I will be over in an hour, Love you Gran. Bye.”
“Goodbye Connor, see you soon”
Thank heavens I’m allowed to stay with her. I don't know what I would have done if she had said no.
I shut my bedroom door for the last time and walk downstairs.
I go into the living room and say 4 words to my mum.
“ I'm leaving now. Goodbye”
As I head towards the door she catches my arm and turns me around, there are tears in her eyes as
“ I didn't mean it Connor, I was upset, I don't want you to go. I'm sorry, please don't go. I can't live here all alone.”
I also definitely wasn't expecting that. But its too late now.
The damage has been done, the final blow was dealt, the blood is shed.
“Sorry Mum. It's too late for sorry. Sorry doesn't turn back time.”
Her arm drops from mine she sits back down onto the couch.
Tears spill down her face and my eyes start to sting as well.
I look at her one last time before I walk out the door.
That was so cruel. I can't believe I just did that to her. I should go back and apologise. No. I can't do that. She will hate me forever. Just do what you were going to do. Go to Grans and stay for a while at least.
One hour later I was sitting drinking a cup of tea next to my grandmother. I was telling her was happened and she didn't interrupt me. Towards the end my voice starts to break but I keep going till the very end.
“Connor, I can't say I approve of how you treated my daughter-in-law but if you believe it was for the best then I won't argue with you” Gran says.
“...Thanks...I'm going to bed if that’s OK?” I say in a low voice.
“ Go on then Connor, I'm always here if you need me” She tells me.
“ I know...”I stand up and walk through to the spare room.
One Week Later
I walk up the house that I left one week ago and chap on the door. There is no answer and I chap again. After a few minutes I let myself in. The door is unlocked which is strange as Mum never leaves the door unlocked.
This is odd.... Something is wrong, this door is NEVER unlocked.
I quickly check from room to room, finding nothing I head upstairs, scanning my bedroom and the bathroom first.
Then slowly I open the door to my mothers room.
My gaze falls upon a figure under a blanket. Slowly I pull back the covers to reveal my mother lying on her back, staring up at the ceiling. One thing was missing.
Her brown eyes, the eyes that matched mine perfectly were blank. All of the colour, spirit and emotion she used to show was missing.
My Mother Was Dead.
I look to the table at the side of her bed to see a tub of pills and a glass of water. My gaze draws back to her face and I scan once more for life. There was none, I look down to see an envelope. I slowly ease it out of her hands.
It has one word written on it.
“Connor”
Dear Connor,
If you are reading this then I am no longer with you.
I know this is sudden but I just can't deal with my life any more. I'm so sorry for this and for the trouble that is about to come. I feel that my life has finished and nothing useful can come from my life now, after your father died I was barely able to cope but what happened last week has confirmed my fears. We have been growing apart for the last year or so, its only because I was grieving as you were, that's why I told you to leave. I never meant it. Your father was the only person who ever made me feel complete, now he is gone I feel once more like I have no place in the world.
When I was a child I was always bullied. Things got worse when I was growing up. I never fit into anywhere. I was always made to feel like an outcast, and the people who hurt me never let me forget that even for a moment.
Anyway, I hope you continue your life and live it to the best it can be. I don't hate you, I love you so much Connor. I know you love me too so please don't worry or feel guilty. I always have known you loved me. I have to go now.
I love you my darling, I will never forget you.
Your Mum
I only realise that I am crying when I notice a tear falling onto the paper. The next few hours pass in a blur. I call my Gran and tell her to come over. She sorts everything out while I go and lie down in my bedroom. One thing my Mum said to me kept sticking out.
'I was always made to feel like an outcast'
She never told me anything. I don't even know if Dad knew. She always kept it hidden inside her.
One thing is clear to me now. One thing I have always known. I wish I had told her this. I never had the chance and now I never will.
I should have told her she wasn't an outcast and that she never will be.
Mum.
Wherever you are.
I Love You.
By Adam