Cant have fun?

[Aceso]

Okay, let me explain the situation...
Every time I go to a party, or into town or do something out of the usual like that, I start to get really depressed. I can be feeling absolutely normal, and then all of a sudden I will just feel like cutting or something :(
I went to a summer BBQ this summer, and I got so depressed I made myself throw up for the first time....It just feels like I cant enjoy myself, or I will immediately be punished for it...And other really random things, like if Im sitting behind a couple and they kiss, I will be really depressed and I cant understand why. I cant think of one party etc. where I havnt been feeling like this.
Does anybody else get this?

[Fact]

Sometimes I feel this. It's like everything I do is pointless because there's so much going on around me, so my actions are worthless.

I've never had this long term, though, and I've never thrown up from it (but then I'm scared of throwing up). Usually it lasts a few days before something happens to take my mind off it.

It often feels like it's always there... Like the 'happiness' is just covering it up. Sometimes I feel more like it's the other way around.

Either way, things get better for me. I don't know what your recovery is like though?

Feel free to VM or PM me if you'd like to talk more (:
And keep your chin up - things aren't always as depressing as they seem.

[Art_dude]

hmmm that's interesting.
Can you elaborate on how the party atmosphere affects your emotional stability? Have you ever had a depressive episode before, and if so has it been catalyzed by this particular situation of going to parties? Just off the top of my head from the brief info you gave us, I'd say being in large groups ironically intensifies your sense of isolation, and thus your depression.

[Aceso]

hmmm that's interesting.
Can you elaborate on how the party atmosphere affects your emotional stability? Have you ever had a depressive episode before, and if so has it been catalyzed by this particular situation of going to parties? Just off the top of my head from the brief info you gave us, I'd say being in large groups ironically intensifies your sense of isolation, and thus your depression.

Yes, I find that most times that I am around a large group of people (say more than ten) I start to feel isolated, and look for any excuse to prove to myself that I am different.
I dont have depression just because of this, but I find this is one of my triggers.

[Painted_Indian_Horse]

i get like this a lot, and i thought it was just me.. for me it's like the more people i am around, the more i feel alone--like i don't belong. but try going out with friends, people you are comfortable with. that's sometimes what helps me. :)