I'm seriously going nuts if this continues

[Flippy]

I like this girl in my classroom whom I've known for about 4 years now, and we're good friends and all, she's one of the few people I talk about some problems and vice versa, she's come crying to me asking for help, which I've provided, and so has she.

I consider myself too young to start a relationship, I just turned 14 years old, but for some reason, I can't stop thinking about it. I try to force myself to forget about her, as she might leave next or in 2 years the school, which would make it harder to see her if I even want to get into something, and I live far away from her. It's like a war going inside my head, one part of my mind wants to forget about her but the other refuses to and wants to keep going on, despite the known obstacles, and "they" are always fighting, and it's driving me insane. I have no idea what to do, and there's also that fear of "What if she doesn't like me back?", "What if that ruins our friendship?", etc.

She has some signs of her liking me back, but vaguely, and I might even be misunderstanding them. And her friends keep pushing it by saying I like her and stuff, which is childish, but to some point it creeps her and backs off for some time, and that's one big obstacle I can't confront, as I can't tell other people what to or what not to do. She responds with cold sentences, not playing, as would be expected from someone who's really interested in someone else, "No, that would be creepy" (In a very serious tone, no facial expressions of laughing, just serious), "Of course not!" (Angry and serious, not playing around). Etc.

I must forget about her, it's kind of obvious that she doesn't like me, but she's very playish and my fool mind keeps thinking it's because she's interested, she talks like a baby around me, as weird as that sounds, but it's cute, and she's really cute, her voice and her face, and that's my main weakness.

Help me to forget and train my mind not to expect anything in the future for not getting deceptions (No expectations, no deceptions).

I'm going. Insane.

[Art_dude]

14 years old doesn't sound like you're too young to start a relationship to me. I think it depends on the maturity level of the people involved, and from the sounds of you, I'd feel safe saying you'd be fine dating.

It sounds pretty clear to me that she doesn't like you, you're definitely right about that xD So I agree and advise you to not keep confronting her about is especially considering the reactions you've gotten previously. However if she DID like you back, I feel you would respond the same way and so I'd like to address that point:

Stop thinking about timelines: if you want to pursue it, then pursue it! Who cares if she leaves in a year or two... you may not even end up dating her for long. And even if you do, who says it will be long lasting love? Stop making hypothetical expectations of what the relationship will be like. This could be an amazing experience for you - why would you risk NOT having that?

[Aves]

If you want to have a chance with her, ask her out. I don't think 14 is at all too young to start dating. Hell, most people are dating at 12 now a days (which IS too young). But don't let your age be a factor in this.

Now if you think, honestly think, that she is much better off as a friend, than keep it that way. Don't screw up what is already a perfect relationship for you two. Most people think that a relationship with a close friend is the safest, because when it's over you two will go back to just being great friends. The sad truth is that a good amount of the times, it's not gonna go back to that. I wish it would work out that way, but the way you think of each other changes, and it's just kinda weird after that.

If you think you two will be good for each other and the chances of a dramatic break-up are minimal though, I say go for it. It's better to ask and be rejected, then to let your mind be pained with the torture of wondering what could have been.

[Flippy]

14 years old doesn't sound like you're too young to start a relationship to me. I think it depends on the maturity level of the people involved, and from the sounds of you, I'd feel safe saying you'd be fine dating.

It sounds pretty clear to me that she doesn't like you, you're definitely right about that xD So I agree and advise you to not keep confronting her about is especially considering the reactions you've gotten previously. However if she DID like you back, I feel you would respond the same way and so I'd like to address that point:

Stop thinking about timelines: if you want to pursue it, then pursue it! Who cares if she leaves in a year or two... you may not even end up dating her for long. And even if you do, who says it will be long lasting love? Stop making hypothetical expectations of what the relationship will be like. This could be an amazing experience for you - why would you risk NOT having that?

Simply because I am not sure how she'll react, it could screw the friendship that took years to built in order for us both to have this level of trust between us. It could be an instant demolition of our friendship. It could lead to a painful time of waiting on what she decides, but it wouldn't be comfortable, as someone who truly felt something for me shouldn't have to think it too much, unless there's some obstacle like her family or something related. It could actually lead to something, but then again, I consider myself too young not because I'm 14, but because I simply don't know how I could keep a relationship without taking her somewhere, I already stated I live far away, so far away indeed, that my house is on the limit of the city, and she lives in the next city, which is at the opposite side.

| <- me (limit) other limit|limit of next city (her) other limit|

Something like that, please forgive the gorilla style map.


I might admit I didn't truly describe her, so I might aswell do it now so you can deduce if I'm wrong about her feelings towards me.

(Unnecessary description, just so you know why I am interested, you can skip this if you want. She's very cute, her face and her proportions, she's not "hot" nor anything like that to me, she's kind and cute, a bit dorky but that makes her funny, the mistakes she makes with this characteristic aren't too important. She can be smart to the point she can provide help.)

Now allow me to describe her attitudes towards me deeper.

She's very funny and cute around me in comparison to other boys, she talks to me frequently. She asks for help with me many times, many, don't know if that's related or can lead to something, this might include small stuff like "I don't understand this part in my homework, can you help?" or "Can you please tell me what the homework was? I forgot, haha" .

She has told me I think way too mature, because of this kind of grammar and my thoughts about certain things.

I can't think of anything more, but so far, I'm not too convinced...

I might as well just give up now.

[Flippy]

Sorry for the bump.. I'm so confused and desperate

[Art_dude]

you poor bastard - stop thinking so much for god's sake!

First off, you need to get it through your head that this isn't a wise choice, and it would be incredibly irresponsible and rude to pursue this any further. you're going on about how being in a relationship could break your trust as friends? I can tell you right now, that continually bringing up dating after several cold reactions of "no" can do that equally as well for you. Has it ever occurred to you that you're really smart and she genuinely needs help on homework? Just because she thinks your mature doesn't mean it's a sign of her secret attraction to you.

If she was really your friend, than asking about dating her (successful in outcome or not) WOULD NOT end in the cataclysmic fashion you just described on that little tangent of yours. For god's sake look at you: "It could lead to a painful time of waiting on what she decides." You're afraid to talk to your own friend about a hypothetical, because "waiting" might be too "painful" for you?

trust me, I feel for you. I really do. No one understands unrequited love, quite like me xD But I can tell you now, holding your breath in desperation is a lot more painful than accepting the outcome and moving on. There are plenty of other fish in the sea bud. chin up!

[kyle95]

Slow down and take a deep breath mate. My advice, take it one day at a time and don't read into things too much. When she's around you, be her friend but don't raise your expectations. If there's something there, you'll know, girls know how to send signals. So quit tormenting yourself.

[Clawhammer]

I found myself in a somewhat similar situation, wanting someone really bad but knowing you can never get there is hard. Just keep trying, you'll make it there eventually. Stand up, grit your teeth, and keep a stiff upper lip.