SlightlySane
October 17th, 2010, 12:24 AM
Important Links:
(this are just small things that will help you understand the process I've been going through.)
Mom I'm Gay (I came out) (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=83269)
Fact - The day (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?p=1013328#post1013328)
Fact - Mom's tears (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?p=1013760#post1013760)
Fact - Words that hurt (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?p=1014028#post1014028)
Fact - Councilor (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?p=1020476#post1020476)
Fact - Bittersweet (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?p=1016349#post1016349)
Fact - Regret (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?p=1025638#post1025638)
Mommy, I love a boy (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=82135)
That was then, then it was that, and this is it now:
- Like I said in my previous thread, my mom wasn't very accepting of my being gay. She had me to talk to a councilor, please understand that this was NOT because I'm gay but because she worried that I was struggling to accept myself. The meeting with this councilor went very well and there were no problems at all. He said that he has never actually met a kid my age that has the knowledge, maturity, and grasp on life that I do. I discussed things with him such as: when do I tell my dad, what other people will think, do I live in a safe environment, have I thought about kids, etc... I will tell you right now that I consider adoption my choice for having kids as a gay male. However, children are not something that I think about at this point in my lifetime because in all honestly I am young and have higher priorities at this moment in my life. I hold high morals and values to myself. Yes, I'm one of those christians who is waiting till "marriage" before having sex. This does NOT at all mean that I think EVERYONE should wait. It is my opinion that when you have sex is YOUR choice and only yours, it is not my place to judge you.
- There was quite a bit of tension between my mom and I for a while about this. She didn't seem comfortable when I mentioned James. She did agree to still let me see him, and I did. After about three weeks we had another talk about it. This talk came around when I asked my mom if I could take James to homecoming. She originally told me know because it would raise too many questions and she didn't want me to be out yet at the high school. Then my best friend found out and texted my mom asking why I couldn't take James. My mom decided she had been unreasonable, so I could take him as long as we promised to go as "just friends." This talk went on to several more topics such as the fact that she slowly had gotten more comfortable with things. A closer friend of my mom, Lori, was over at the house when I had this talk with my mom (she was waiting outside). My mom and I discussed a lot of things. She said that she had been coming more to terms with it in understanding and acceptance. I mentioned that I had been frustrated in the stand still in progress we had made towards working this out. I told her that I didn't like that I wasn't able to talk to her about James. I explained that I wanted her support, to be able to talk about him as my boyfriend and not just James, that I wanted to be able to tell her all about him, and over all I wanted to be able to talk about him like it was normal. This talk only lasted about 20 minutes because my mom wanted to talk to Lori. When she did go to talk to her she told me to come with her. Let me make it clear that I'm very close to Lori, my mom baby sits her son and they have been friends since high school. I trust this wonderful woman with everything in my whole heart. So my mom walked me out to see Lori and said, "Lori, we have something to tell you because I think Ryne needs to see your reaction to this." This scared her a little, Lori thought it was something really bad. Then my mom went on to say, "Ryne has a boyfriend that he wants to take to homecoming." Lori just looked at me and smile then hugged me and said, "Did you think this was a bad thing? You know I love you no matter what and that I think you should be with whoever makes you happy." I was crying because I was so happy at this point. My mom had called him MY BOYFRIEND. That moment was the most liberating moment I have felt in my entire life. At this point I went on to tell my mom and Lori all about James and show them pictures and everything. I was happier than I have ever been. This was the first time I really got to talk to my mom about James at all without her ignoring me or walking aways.
- My mom got to meet James when he came over before homecoming. She had texted him previously and got to know him a little. I must say that went over VERY well. They clicked right away. It was just my mom, James, and I at the house before homecoming so we took pictures together and everything. My mom was very pleasant to him and even gave him several hugs. Then it was time to go to the dance. Remembering that my mom wanted us going as "just friends" we knew we couldn't dance together, not a slow dance anyway. I introduced James to all my lovely friends and we talked with people for a little while. Then my mom started texting me... "I must say, you two make a very cute couple." My jaw actually dropped and it got better as I got the next message. "Nobody will be asking questions ;) so you two can dance. Have fun!" I just hugged James at that point, I was in HEAVEN. I will admit that I was nervous at first about dancing with him in front of all these people that knew me and were Judging me. We did it, we danced together and didn't care who watched. There were of course whispers and rumors going at insane speed but that is to be expected. It was all worth it, one of the most perfect nights of my life. To make it better he came over to my house afterwards and we got to cuddle on the couch and watch a movie. This was another first for both he and I. It was AMAZING we kissed, cuddled, and talked a lot. I was smiling the WHOLE time and so was he. Sadly his mom wouldn't let him stay the night for whatever reason (no she doesn't know he's gay). However, it didn't matter, the night was still amazing.
- Now I'm in the present. My mom is beyond accepting my sexuality. She is fully embracing it. She gave me permission to tell my dad whenever I feel I'm ready, which I hope to be soon. I can openly talk about my beautiful boyfriend with her whenever I like. She brings him up a lot as well and talks to him a bit herself via texting. She has told me that every time I so much as think of him she sees a spark in my eye that she's never seen before. She realizes how happy he makes me and really loves it. Of course my mom will always have her fears of the judgement I face from society, but she fully supports me. I love my mom so much, and I am thankful as well as lucky to have her.
Important Dates:
August 22nd, 2010 - I officially began dating the most amazing person to come into my life
September 6th, 2010 - I tell my mother that I am gay
September 11th, 2010 - I told VT my story and struggle with coming out
September 22nd, 2010 - I have been dating my boyfriend for one month
October 6th, 2010 - I have no been out to my mother for a month
October 10th, 2010 - I take my boyfriend to my homecoming dance, and I dance with him while everyone could see.
October 17th, 2010 - I continue my story about coming out.
October 17th, 2010 - I have been with my boyfriend 8 weeks.
Today:
I am open about my sexuality
I am confident in myself
I am proud to be gay
I am dating a beautiful person
I am working on turning my journey into something that will help many more people
I am becoming and active GLBT Community supporter
I am finally able to be myself
I am free
(this are just small things that will help you understand the process I've been going through.)
Mom I'm Gay (I came out) (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=83269)
Fact - The day (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?p=1013328#post1013328)
Fact - Mom's tears (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?p=1013760#post1013760)
Fact - Words that hurt (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?p=1014028#post1014028)
Fact - Councilor (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?p=1020476#post1020476)
Fact - Bittersweet (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?p=1016349#post1016349)
Fact - Regret (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?p=1025638#post1025638)
Mommy, I love a boy (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=82135)
That was then, then it was that, and this is it now:
- Like I said in my previous thread, my mom wasn't very accepting of my being gay. She had me to talk to a councilor, please understand that this was NOT because I'm gay but because she worried that I was struggling to accept myself. The meeting with this councilor went very well and there were no problems at all. He said that he has never actually met a kid my age that has the knowledge, maturity, and grasp on life that I do. I discussed things with him such as: when do I tell my dad, what other people will think, do I live in a safe environment, have I thought about kids, etc... I will tell you right now that I consider adoption my choice for having kids as a gay male. However, children are not something that I think about at this point in my lifetime because in all honestly I am young and have higher priorities at this moment in my life. I hold high morals and values to myself. Yes, I'm one of those christians who is waiting till "marriage" before having sex. This does NOT at all mean that I think EVERYONE should wait. It is my opinion that when you have sex is YOUR choice and only yours, it is not my place to judge you.
- There was quite a bit of tension between my mom and I for a while about this. She didn't seem comfortable when I mentioned James. She did agree to still let me see him, and I did. After about three weeks we had another talk about it. This talk came around when I asked my mom if I could take James to homecoming. She originally told me know because it would raise too many questions and she didn't want me to be out yet at the high school. Then my best friend found out and texted my mom asking why I couldn't take James. My mom decided she had been unreasonable, so I could take him as long as we promised to go as "just friends." This talk went on to several more topics such as the fact that she slowly had gotten more comfortable with things. A closer friend of my mom, Lori, was over at the house when I had this talk with my mom (she was waiting outside). My mom and I discussed a lot of things. She said that she had been coming more to terms with it in understanding and acceptance. I mentioned that I had been frustrated in the stand still in progress we had made towards working this out. I told her that I didn't like that I wasn't able to talk to her about James. I explained that I wanted her support, to be able to talk about him as my boyfriend and not just James, that I wanted to be able to tell her all about him, and over all I wanted to be able to talk about him like it was normal. This talk only lasted about 20 minutes because my mom wanted to talk to Lori. When she did go to talk to her she told me to come with her. Let me make it clear that I'm very close to Lori, my mom baby sits her son and they have been friends since high school. I trust this wonderful woman with everything in my whole heart. So my mom walked me out to see Lori and said, "Lori, we have something to tell you because I think Ryne needs to see your reaction to this." This scared her a little, Lori thought it was something really bad. Then my mom went on to say, "Ryne has a boyfriend that he wants to take to homecoming." Lori just looked at me and smile then hugged me and said, "Did you think this was a bad thing? You know I love you no matter what and that I think you should be with whoever makes you happy." I was crying because I was so happy at this point. My mom had called him MY BOYFRIEND. That moment was the most liberating moment I have felt in my entire life. At this point I went on to tell my mom and Lori all about James and show them pictures and everything. I was happier than I have ever been. This was the first time I really got to talk to my mom about James at all without her ignoring me or walking aways.
- My mom got to meet James when he came over before homecoming. She had texted him previously and got to know him a little. I must say that went over VERY well. They clicked right away. It was just my mom, James, and I at the house before homecoming so we took pictures together and everything. My mom was very pleasant to him and even gave him several hugs. Then it was time to go to the dance. Remembering that my mom wanted us going as "just friends" we knew we couldn't dance together, not a slow dance anyway. I introduced James to all my lovely friends and we talked with people for a little while. Then my mom started texting me... "I must say, you two make a very cute couple." My jaw actually dropped and it got better as I got the next message. "Nobody will be asking questions ;) so you two can dance. Have fun!" I just hugged James at that point, I was in HEAVEN. I will admit that I was nervous at first about dancing with him in front of all these people that knew me and were Judging me. We did it, we danced together and didn't care who watched. There were of course whispers and rumors going at insane speed but that is to be expected. It was all worth it, one of the most perfect nights of my life. To make it better he came over to my house afterwards and we got to cuddle on the couch and watch a movie. This was another first for both he and I. It was AMAZING we kissed, cuddled, and talked a lot. I was smiling the WHOLE time and so was he. Sadly his mom wouldn't let him stay the night for whatever reason (no she doesn't know he's gay). However, it didn't matter, the night was still amazing.
- Now I'm in the present. My mom is beyond accepting my sexuality. She is fully embracing it. She gave me permission to tell my dad whenever I feel I'm ready, which I hope to be soon. I can openly talk about my beautiful boyfriend with her whenever I like. She brings him up a lot as well and talks to him a bit herself via texting. She has told me that every time I so much as think of him she sees a spark in my eye that she's never seen before. She realizes how happy he makes me and really loves it. Of course my mom will always have her fears of the judgement I face from society, but she fully supports me. I love my mom so much, and I am thankful as well as lucky to have her.
Important Dates:
August 22nd, 2010 - I officially began dating the most amazing person to come into my life
September 6th, 2010 - I tell my mother that I am gay
September 11th, 2010 - I told VT my story and struggle with coming out
September 22nd, 2010 - I have been dating my boyfriend for one month
October 6th, 2010 - I have no been out to my mother for a month
October 10th, 2010 - I take my boyfriend to my homecoming dance, and I dance with him while everyone could see.
October 17th, 2010 - I continue my story about coming out.
October 17th, 2010 - I have been with my boyfriend 8 weeks.
Today:
I am open about my sexuality
I am confident in myself
I am proud to be gay
I am dating a beautiful person
I am working on turning my journey into something that will help many more people
I am becoming and active GLBT Community supporter
I am finally able to be myself
I am free