I know I've not been the best.

[LoveMe_HateMe]

I know I've been seriously lacking in comeing on here and helping...but with college and everything else I've been too busy to come on here. Since I've come on here I've gone donehill majorly. I'm falling, majorly. I can't keep going on like this. I want everything to be normal again...well as normal as anything can get.

My walls have gone back up between me and the boyfriend. And I don't know how to get them done again. I can't trust anyone anymore. Not one person. I've compelty locked myself inside myself. I hate it. The site I've started using to vent has stopped working. My ipods died on me. I cant trust anything anymore not even stupid technology.

I can stop self harming for a couple of days then I crack and do it... I now have 4/5 words carvedinto my skin. The boyfriend knows I self harm. He doesn't like it. But suprisinlgy not asked/told me to stop. And he doesn't ask about it either which I'm glad about.

I want to talk to someone I know, talk to someone face-to-face. One of my friends...she does it...I think. I want to talk to her about it. I need someone I can talk to about it. Someone who understands why. But I don't know how to talk to her about it cause we're not that close. Help?

I'm falling.... I need something. Someone. I keep think about suicide. And yes I know its not the answer but, I just, I don;t know....

[closed]

There is allways a soulution! you can talk to anyone here, or talk to your friend!
You need to focus on what's important to you right now, to set your priorities, and once you've done it, everything will get better in time...
there are people that would love to help you, here, at home, or just friends. Did you think about maybe get a professional help? (from my experience) it helps with everything, eases the pain. you don't have to be completely nuts to get a hel pfrom a professional...
anyway if you need to talk feel free to pm me...

[Mike321]

I know how hard it is to feel locked inside yourself, I used to be like it, I'd never tell anyone anything or feel I couldnt trust anyone
But there is always help availabe to you, whether you talk to someone on here, get professional help, as the pervious poster suggested.
But if you want to tell someone face to face, i.e your friend, you just need to make sure she is the right perosn to tell, and you can properly trust her, even if you start to build bridges with just one person, its a start.
If you want things to return to 'normal', then you need to focus on whats important to you, and although its hard, things will get better
Hope this helps